2& - LIVE IDoL ARTIST review

So, everyone (I assume) who reads this blog has probably seen me gushing about Saki at some point over the past year. And now, finally, the time has come when I can do what I do best, and rip apart some music. Today I attended Saki's birthday live, which was frankly awesome, and the price of entry was to buy her album, which was released today. So I did. Despite already having purchased two copies. Well, idol marketing gimmicks never change. So I have two spare copies if anyone's interested after reading this review.

Because I have a chance, and because, after all, Saki is a "live idol artist", I'll go into some of what happened today. The hall was covered in balloons and feathers. She had a live band. She wore a new black and red dress that she broke even before the end of the live, and because she wasn't wearing anything except underwear under it, had to go do an impromptu costume change. She stagedived. She jumped into the crowd and started leading us in running around. It was great fun.

So yes, if you get the chance to see 2& do so, because it's usually quite nuts.

Anyway, onto the album. It has 9 songs, not massive, you might think, but it's 47 minutes long so longer than a lot of real albums, so that's what I'm classing it as.

Preamble: The album cover is basically a really weirdly rendered image of fans kechaing the stage. Weird for an idol album, but hell, it's different.

1. 片目のLiliy. This song starts off in the same way the album will continue, with some cool rock surges and Saki sounding amazing. The verse and chorus all come and go in somewhat of a blur due to how sexy the music is. But the highlight of the song is when the music stops and she just yells "助けて！" at the top of her lungs. The music in this is glorious, wonderful little riffs and basslines that draw you in and Saki's voice that leaves you begging for more. Glorious start to the album. 10/10

2. 限界圧縮人形. The beginning of this song has the most flangey guitar riff ever. But it's sexy as hell. Then bass and drums. And Saki's voice again singing sweet sweet sounds over the top. The music goes from sparse to dense and back again, and Saki's voice is the main constant, staying strong throughout. The bassline in this song is fantastic. The chorus is also really a fistpumping affair. You know... if you weren't too busy furicopying. In the middle-8 there's a simple bass riff where Saki walks around in a circle during lives, and then starts going slowmotion when the flange guitars come back in. Truly fun to watch. Also nice to listen to on CD.  10/10

3. ネガポジmonster. Ah, Negaposi Monster. The song that first got me into Saki. It's held up well, especially in its newly re-recorded form. Again, the bass is funky as hell, with the guitar pretty much playing backup throughout most of the song. But again, Saki holds it together with her vocals. Also, in the chorus there's some glorious tap guitar going on. There's some glorious progressive feels in the middle-8, despite it being funky. Now Saki's screaming again. It's all good. Seriously fun song. 10/10

4. 兎と奴隷とカシオペア. Cassiopeia starts with a glorious little bass riff on the top strings, guitar noises and Saki singing just about as high into head voice as she can. Then we get some rock feel, which pushes the song along a bit. Then it quietens down a bit and we get to explore some more sonic landscapes, then the guitar starts noodling and the drums go a bit manic, and we get some glorious vocals. The guitars and bass interplay in this bit are orgasm worthy. And Saki's voice just chills me with how epic it is. Then another section with some headbanging. Then some crazy blastrolling on the drums into the chorus. At least, I assume it's the chorus. It's the happiest and fastest part of the song. Then we get a long slow part where it slowly builds up into a thing of pure beauty. This song is so prog in its layout. I lost count of the sections, but it's at least as rhapsodical as Iine, if not moreso, as the only thing that actually repeats is the 30 odd seconds of the chorus, which is a variation anyway. 10/10

5. 未来を. This is it. The most sexy intro of all. Saki's voice in the intro is just perfection. Then we're into fast funky rock again. Really, this could be a million-selling Red Hot Chilli Peppers single and no one would bat an eyelid. My mind can't keep up with how awesome it is. They've stuck some vocal effects at the beginning of the second verse, which keeps me from breaking the limiter on it. But it's still perfect. The chorus is perfect. The verse is perfect. In the middle 8 there's some nice bass riffs and then guitar buildup which is shwing. GUITAR SOLO! There aren't enough words to express how much win this song actually is. 10/10

6. ○の理論. 8 minutes and 21 seconds. This is one long assed idol song. Honestly, before today's live I'd never heard it so I had no idea what to expect. But it's (as you could probably tell from the length) progressive as fuck. Starts with some slow guitar and keys with Saki's voice sitting just on top. Then the funk starts. The riffs continue but the vocals, bass and drums break off into different patterns, almost reminding me of some jazzy type rock. It's been two minutes and we're still on the second riff, but because the bass and drums keep changing it isn't boring. Oh wait, third riff has started. Saki's vocal lines in this are superb. Then we get everything except the drums stop for a bit. And everything slows down to a really slow pace. Then it gets violent. Then after that section, we get some sexy bass twanging, very funky and sweet. Been 4:30 and no repeated sections yet. Then suddenly keyboards whine in and we get a chorus. Completely out of context to what surrounds it. Such a shock to the system. Certainly would wake you up. Now we repeat some sections. Saki's just singing "Oh yay!" at points and it still sounds good. She could sing pretty much anything and I'd like it, I think. It sort of goes hyper at the end repeating the same thing whilst speeding up to insanity and my brain has broken. 10/10

7. ドリーム. Dream starts off sounding like a cute 90s pop rock tune, with the guitars like they are now. But when the main riff and bass (which is turned up to 11) hit, the comparisons fly out the window. Again, the pounding bassline and guitars make a sexy platform for Saki to stand on, and then she does it with ease. The vocal melodies are sweet as a really sweet thing. The prechorus is especially wonderful. The chorus is a pure rock thing, and Saki sounds better than all of the early 2000s pop rock singers put together. Some of the slower bits in the buildup chorus are quite sweet as well. A lovely little song. 10/10

8. リアル. Real and Dream are built off the same structure. But there the difference ends. Whereas Dream tries to cute you into submission before bludgeoning you, Real has some pan-faded guitars to confuse you then just hits you with a hammer to the face with one of the best fucking riffs I've ever heard. Again, vocal melodies worth listening for alone. The guitar lines are wonderfully lush, and the drums build everything up nicely. The prechorus is an amazing buildup to the chorus, which will rip your face off. So much pace and energy even on CD you'll be hard pressed to not start jumping around like an idiot listening to it. The only thing they couldn't do on the recorded version is include Saki's gymnastics in the mid8 somehow. The buildup chorus is also wonderful. This is perfection in aural form. 10/10

9. ポッピングシャワーの雨. Popping Shower... after Real it's a shock to the system. Where Real mixed shoegaze and power into one (somehow), Popping Shower is funk as fuck. Still, the riffs are glorious and the bass and drums keep everything intact. Saki's also cute as hell on this song. They've added some spoken overdubs after the singing parts with her repeating lyrics or laughing. The chorus is powerful as hell, and the prechorus does a nice job of building us up to it. They've also recorded a crowd for the chorus, in which Saki does a call and response with the crowd yelling "zutto!" So they've actually put the crowd response in. They even had Saki's usual MCish thing in the middle 8 where she tells the crowd that 2& = Saki and them, and then basically has them all yell Double And over and over. Which they've also kept in, a nice touch. Gives it a bit of a live album feel towards the end. 10/10


Overall: So, shit. It finally happened. Albums that do this to me are few and far between. The last was Ayreon's The Human Equation back in 2004. This album is damn good alternative rock (a hint of shoegaze at times) with strong funky basslines and cool guitar licks, supported by a solid drum foundation. All the music on this album was done with a live band, so it's all pretty natural sounding. Saki's singing is also damn good: whilst live there can be the imperfections caused by hoarseness or the sound board being set up incorrectly, in a studio environment that basically all fades, so her performance here is top notch. Nothing wrong at all with the production (it was mastered in Sony's studios), the strength of the music is fucking fantastic (thanks Shachou), and yea. Honestly the only nitpicky bit I have would be that I think Real would be a better album ender than Popping Shower because of how powerful is, but I can see that because of Saki being a "Live Idol Artist" they wanted to show a feel of that during the last song, and Popping Shower is probably the most vocal the crowd get so they chose that.

So yes. This is the first idol album to achieve what this has just done.

Other albums that have done this to me include Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon and The Wall, Led Zeppelin's 4, Opeth's Blackwater Park, and Ayreon's Human Equation. There aren't many. It epitomises perfection. I've always said that my rankings are somewhat logarithmic so that the highest marks are almost impossible to achieve.

Well, Saki deserves it. So does Shachou for writing such glorious songs.

10/10

2015 Top Idol List: 10-1

So, we come to part two of this year's late as fuck list. This is where half of you will likely sigh, give up, and go back to your mainstream idols in a fit of frustration, no doubt moaning that I simply "don't get it". Well, fuck it. Having experienced both sides of it in the past year, I'm happily in the underground camp now. So this list will likely include a bunch of idols you may not have heard of before. If you haven't, I highly suggest you check them out. Most of them have an internet presence, even if their activities exist almost entirely in playing live houses 3-6 times a week. Expand your world.

So before that, I'll go into a quick offshoot list of girls who did something to impress me this year, even if they're not really idols I like, that I have any hopes for, or usual contenders for this list.

-Yoshii Kanae from 9nine. Kanchan is a really good singer, and she really went gung ho to fish me when I was attending all those 9nine events last year. Shit, it was nearly a year ago. How time flies. She is also one of only two idols who can pronounce Krv with no difficulty whatsoever. And she does it incredibly sexily.
-Nishiwaki Sayaka, also 9nine. Again, went over the top in trying to get me to oshihen from Umika. Also just really happy. All the fucking time.
-Kumada Kanae, also known as Hatsukoi Cider. What the actual hell drugs she's on I don't know, but they're hilarious. She abuses the hell out of her fans. She's 139cm tall and looks about ten years younger than her 18 years old. Or is she 19? I can't remember. Either way, when she performs Hatsukoi Cider, she will blow your mind. Simply because she does it five or six times. Or, as I went to her birthday show... 12 on her own, once with Eren, once with Lolisyn, and then once in a metal arrangement with Lolisyn. Not counting the little play that happened with members from another group, and every time one of them fluffed their lines, Hatsukoi Cider. YES TIGER!
-Eren. Speaking of, Eren is awkward and amusing enough to warrant an honourable mention.
-Buchou from Death Rabbits. A 37 year old man in an idol group with a few 13 year olds. Really only getting a mention because of him being weak as hell. Beaten to shit in a Zekkyou moshpit. Beaten to shit in a Lolisyn moshpit and used as a climbing frame. For someone wearing armour and a good 6ft tall, he sure does get beaten up a lot.

Anyway, a recap of the 20-11 list:

20. Nakano Ikumi (AKB48)
19. Okada Nana (AKB48)
18. Ogata Haruna (Morning Musume)
17. Owada Nana (AKB48)
16. Ichino Narumi (SKE48)
15. Tomonya (Tsuki to Taiyou)
14. Akiyoshi Yuka (HKT48)
13. Kimoto Kanon (SKE48/HKT48)
12. Matsugami Yuko (Slime Girls)
11. Ishida Ayumi (Morning Musume)

So, onwards to the top ten.

10. Komiyama Haruka (AKB48)
(-/-/-/-/-)
 

 

Komi has impressed me, and I hope to see some more impressing. She reminds me of how Mayu used to be before she got all plastic-y and boring. Her lyric writing is hilariously poor, but the cutesy "Oh no!" in the middle made me laugh too hard. She's aiming for a black-hearted fishing-genius character, like Milky or Suda, so as those two both amuse me a lot I'm keeping my eye on her.

9. Kawamura Nanaka (Kamen Joshi/Alice Juban/Prism/Idol Youkai Kawayushi♥)
(-/-/-/-/-)

Wonky eyes, check. Stubby legs, check. Stupidly overexcited dancing, check. Yaeba, check. Fun to talk to, fun to meet, and she's not really that popular. So if you do find yourself at a PARMS show for any reason, I'd suggest finding the white glowsticks in Alice Juban and stand behind them, and watch how she plays the audience like a pro. She's also pretty funny on their new TV program, going to some rather underhanded lengths in order to win ￥10000. She's also pretty forthright with her views on twitter. Definitely the only one left worth supporting now Tomoe's gone.

8. Tanaka Natsumi (HKT48/SKE48)
(-/-/-/-/-)

Natsumikan is basically now HKT's MC Boss. Hyakkaten 3 is a perfect example, as they do an ANNEX with no Sasshi. Almost half the time Boss has to step in to get some of the more shy (or inexperienced) members to do what they're supposed to. Also her comedic MC duet with Akiyoshi in live shows is brilliantly hilarious. Her height is continuing to get bigger and bigger. She's evolving into the Tsukkomi of all HKT, and it's brilliant. Truly living up to her title of Boss.

7. Mai (Next Shoujo Jiken)
(-/-/-/-/-)

Next Shoujo Jiken were, to me, the spark that lit the fire. Attracted by the rumours of three girls running around barefoot stabbing each other and just laying down during performances and not being fucked to move, I decided last March to go and see what all the fuss was about. Before I went, the girl called Shuri looked the cutest, but after seeing them perform, Mai was the one who sold it all best. Shuri was like a force of nature, Nono was a bit too calm. Mai was just gloriously indolent. After the show I spent far too long talking to her and Nono. And that was that. Even through to the present, she's the one constant in Next Shoujo Jiken (Shuri disappeared one day, Nono graduated in December). Another constant is her hilarious inability to spell Krv. I've had Krb, Calb, KARV and nothing at all. All very dojikko moe. Until she starts growling. Hell yea. Plus she wants to play at Fuckingham Palace. Fuck yea. And Fuck You, because that's their motto.

6. Kai (Zekkyousuru 60do)
(-/-/-/-/-)

Ah, Kai. The English-speaking, skateboard-riding, crowdsurfing, cosplaying prime masochist of the idol world punk girl. That's a lot of boxes to tick as an idol. She really just does tick pretty much most boxes though. Cute as hell, sweet as anything to talk to, she has far too much energy live, is somewhat hilariously timid at times, and all in all is the perfect foil to her more boistrous colleague.

5. Kawashima Umika (9nine)
(-/1/8/3/5)

So, yet another good year for Umika. Her photobook did well, she was in another couple of pretty good dramas, she managed to fight off the damage done by Kanchan and Chapon to retain her status as my 9nine oshi, and in general just did everything right again. Not to mention the Takoyaki Apocalypse, which, btw, I finally ate on Tuesday night, marking nearly 350 days since she told me to eat the bloody thing and me actually doing it. Also, it fucking sucks. But hey, can't rank her down for having weird tastebuds.

4. Hiro (Gouhou Lolita Syndrome)
(-/-/-/-/-)

We're moving closer to the sharp end of this, and we come to one of the sharpest idols around. Hiro is fun. But she's also gloriously brutal. Her headbanging is for all intents and purposes the greatest in the idol world, to the extent that it's hard even for me to keep up. Her singing is good, she avoids the growling that Halu can pull off but makes up for it with an incredibly intense live performance. I'd be remiss if I didn't link (again) to Croissant. It's also fun when Hiro stands on you. Or stands on the edge of a table that the other edge is crushing your neck. Yes. Fun.

3. Montero (Zekkyousuru 60do)
(-/-/-/-/-)

Oh Montero, hypersadistic idol of ultimate proportions. Her atrocities grow with each passing week. The two most recent chekis I've had with her, for an idea: jumping off the top of a railing onto me, and putting her entire bodyweight on my face. Luckily she's not that heavy or my jaw would likely have broken. She's mental as fuck live, she's hilarious to talk to, and she'll do wonderful, terrible things to your helpless body. What the hell isn't to like?

2. Saki (2&/Guso Drop)
(-/-/-/-/-)

Saki had been leading this race until very recently, when #1 just edged ahead. Saki has pretty much everything an idol needs in a neat little package. She's cute, she's a good singer, she can dance, she does gymnastics that somehow fit into her performance, and she's utterly illogical. Seriously, read her tweets. No one has a fucking clue what she's on about half the time, least of all her producer. Still, she's fun to talk to, and you never know what you're going to get. Also, her secret hidden identity as Guso Drop's Saki, which is really only ever acknowledged on Twitter and very very occasionally during live MCs as being "separate entities", is the worst kept secret in idoldom. She will happily talk about it and 2& stuff when with Guso Drop during the communication time. Still, with her album out next Wednesday and Guso Drop going from strength to strength, I think the time to challenge the establishment will soon arrive.

1. Shion (Guso Drop)
(-/-/-/-/-)

Ultimately, it had to be. Basically, since I got to Japan I've been fighting a losing battle. I've been trying to keep myself neutral in Guso Drop, declaring myself Hako-oshi, but I've been increasingly drawn to Shion's more and more violent performances. When I first went to see them, back in November, she was pretty normal. The best of the lot at headbanging, but other than being the long, black-haired classical Japanese beauty of the group, she was pretty normal. Then I came back in February. She's covered in blood and bandages. She's brutal as anything. I've always gravitated towards those that have the most tempestuous stage presence, just see Nanaka from Alice Juuban. But Shion takes tempestuous stage performance and throws it up about three hundred levels. When the other girls are raising their arms up and down, Shion's looks like it's about to tear out of the socket. When the other girls are wandering around the crowd high-fiving people, she's hitting them. When the others throw things into the crowd, Shion throws them at the crowd. Or just spits water in their face. Wait, she does that anyway. She's taken to bringing 4L bottles of water, just to drench herself and the crowd with. She's also delightful to speak to, really cute and fun. Chekis are always amusing. And then Tuesday happened. Their last day at Shinjuku Red Nose, the members of the fanclub were invited to bring along cameras. So I did. And Shion broke her ribs. I think I caught the moment on camera. The floor was slippery, everyone fell over. Not only did she finish the performance, she came out and did chekis and communication time as well. And then, far from taking a break, or giving up, she's been performing in a wheelchair. Not your Mitsui Aika sit alone on the side of the stage wheelchair live either. She's rolling herself on (in fact, the first time she did she banged her leg into the barrier on the edge of the stage), dancing in the chair and causing havoc with waterpistols. And her "injuries" are also getting more extreme. She's taken to bandaging up and applying fake blood to her legs, her arms, pretty much everything except the part that's actually injured. And now, thanks to the efforts of another gaijin fan, the term Wheelchair Cheki has entered the wotaku vocabulary. Here's mine.

So yes, for her valour, her fortitude, her epic stage presence, her cuteness, general awesomeness and all around brilliance, Shion is my number one pick for who is going to light my world on fire this year. She's already made a damn good start.

Have some more pictures for good measure.

2015 Top Idol List: 20-11

It's February. Time and beyond for top idol lists. Usually I do it in January but this year I had to move to Japan so that's occupied me rather a lot, trying to find a job and not spend all my money. Last year I gave top spot to Oota Aika, expecting her to achieve some modicum of extra popularity and impetus to spur HKT on to greater heights. Needless to say, that hasn't really happened. However, since last year I've spent rather a lot more time attending indie idol events, meaning that this year's list will see quite a massive change. Goodbye, one longtime mainstay of this list. Etc etc.

The rules, as usual:
1. I define idols as current members of a current group who currently release idol music, or solo singers who do the same and are generally defined as idols.
2. If a former member of an idol group redebuts under a different name or as a solo singer, or both, and is still primarily known as an idol, they qualify.
3. However, members of retrospective groups that merely take the limelight away from current members do not.

Last year's list (and previous ranks in parentheses):

20. Yogi Keira (-/-/-/19)
19. Ego Yuna (-/-/-/-)
18. Tani Marika (-/-/-/-)
17. Shiraishi Mai (-/-/-/-)
16. Jonishi Kei (-/-/-/-)
15. Kimoto Kanon (-/-/1/2)
14. Shiroma Miru (-/-/-/20)
13. Murashige Anna (-/-/-/God)
12. Nakamoto Suzuka (-/-/-/-)
11. Nabilah Ayu Ratna Azalia (-/-/-/-)
10. Suzuki Airi (9/8/3/10)
9. Ariyasu Momka (-/-/7/8)
8. Ishida Ayumi (-/-/-/4)
7. Nakagawa Haruka (-/-/16/-)
6. Akiyoshi Yuka (-/-/-/-)
5. Kawashima Umika (-/1/8/3)
4. Michishige Sayumi (12/10/17/-)
3. Motomura Aoi (-/-/-/-)
2. Okada Nana (-/-/-/-)
1. Oota Aika (-/-/9/-)

So, firstly, to the people who dropped out of the list.

Graduations:
 
-Yogi Keira ruined everything when she graduated from NMB. Her impish smile will be missed.
-Michishige Sayumi fulfilled all my hopes for her tenure, probably ended as Momusu's best leader ever (no matter how ridiculous that may sound) and left Momusu in a vastly improved situation than when she inherited it.

Fall Out of List:

-Ego Yuna is still cute as a really cute thing, but she seems to keep getting pushed to the side in lieu of Ryoha (who is less attractive, less interesting and in general just a bore) and other than a few appearances on Ebi Calcio she's not been in anything I've seen.
-Tani Marika got exiled to SKE, promptly evolved not one iota and is still loud, obnoxious and funny. Unfortunately the SKE crowd (Suda and Matsumura aside) are a bit more serious than HKT, and so her attempts at doing things tend to come off as overblown. Despite the relative success of her and Matsumura's hitchhiking trip from Wakkanai to Nagoya and their prize-winnings lifestyle things on the Ebi series, and MCing Zero Position, she drops out.
-Shiraishi Mai (and a lot of Nogizaka actually) just coasted through the year, content in their relative success.
-Jonishi Kei, despite winning AKB Shirabe's "most delightful breasts" award (it had a better name but I've forgotten it) has really not done a whole lot of standing out this year.
-Ditto for Shiroma Miru, even though she became a centre.
-What happened to Murashige this year? She disappeared or something. She's done about one thing I found interesting, and that was on Odekake about two weeks ago.
-Nakamoto Suzuka, despite still being awesome, and despite seeing her live, and despite being in the top tier of idol singers, has not really had any exposure at all beyond lives, which considering the amount of promotion and shit Mutou Ayami gets, strikes me as Amuse not having a fucking clue what to do with Babymetal other than live concerts.
-Nabilah impressed me so much in 2013 that I had high hopes for her in 2014, and they didn't materialise. However, she seems to have some stuff lined up for this year, including a film, so maybe she'll be back on next year.
-Suzuki Airi *shock horror gasp*. Despite being on this list every year since its conception, she has finally dropped off. Why? Actually, it's because of Berryz. This list is more a "idols I expect to see a lot of in the coming year" than an oshi ranking, because Airi would still be my #1 in H!P. And because Berryz have been put on a bus, and with H!P giving us more and more units, I'm thinking that the time may not be far away from the bus coming back for C-ute to embark as well.
-Ariyasu Momoka. Honestly, Momoclo haven't really impressed me at all this last year. Momoka's still a glorious ditz and gloriously cute, but one can't stand still forever. Having positioned themselves as an A-tier group along with the 48 Empire, Momoclo are falling into the trap of coasting along with minimal effort.
-Harugon has impressed me again, but it was just not quite enough to attain ranking this year.
-Motomura Aoi disappeared until like really recently, but it wasn't enough to retain her position.
-Oota Aika does some things. Not enough to repay my faith in her when she obtained captaincy.

Nearly Made It:
-Yamada Nanami from Team 8 was quite hilarious on AKBingo. One to watch.
-Mukaichi Mion (Team 4) getting quite some attention, most of it good.
-Moriyasu Madoka (HKT) gradually getting closer to being epic.
-Tashima Meru (HKT) also impressed me with the fact that centre was taken from her and she's not really changed at all. I think a lot of people had the feeling that Meru was like a super-entitled girl who felt she had a right to be at the front, but she's carried on as she was beforehand and not seemed in the least upset. Might be that she just takes things as they come. Of course, with HKT's documentary out this year I might be completely wrong.
-Akimoto Manatsu and Nakamoto Himeka from Nogizaka. Akimoto is really cute. Himetan is also really cute and can sing. They're both pretty amusing. Possible for next year if Nogizaka start doing fun things again.
-Kikuchi Moa from Sakugaku and Babymetal. Now firmly established as my SG oshi (until she graduates too), she's taken on the mantle of student council president and done it well. She's also damn amazing in Babymetal concerts.
-Tamura Meimi from ANGERME. Honestly, she was right on the verge of getting in. Lilium gave me a greater appreciation of her voice, of her weird as hell looks, of her skills... then she cut her hair and started to look a bit like a slightly overweight Johnnys' Junior member. Maybe if she grows it out.
-Steam Girls' Koyanagi Tomoe and Asakura Ayaka. Tomoe has long been my Alice Project oshi. Until, you know, I actually started going to shows and she was never there. At Kamiya's birthday show I finally got to see her in action, but she buggered off before buppan. And now she's just quit so yea, fucked. Ayaka is cold as anything, but when she grins it's just really cute. So I say true but ridiculous things to make her grin. This pisses off Dean.
-Kubota Misa and Amaki Jun from Armour Girls. Jun is cute and funny, but she missed out on the top twenty for two reasons, both of which are attached to her chest. Misa is also stupidly cute, and has a real possibility of stealing my Armour oshi title from Jun.
-Megu from Tsuki to Taiyou. Dat scream.

So once again, a shitload of new entries to the list. Hooray.

20. Nakano Ikumi (AKB48)
(-/-/-/-/-)

So, Team 8's centre has been impressing the hell out of me all over the place. Despite being that cute she's quite big, which is an interesting point which propels her up with Natsumikan as a really tall but still underage girl. I think the standout moment was where she randomly came out and confessed to Yamada Nanami in a single motion on AKBingo after Iwata Karen's somewhat joking coming out of her own. I don't know what the plans for Team 8 are, whether they're a permanent team or just going to build up to a 47 prefecture tour and then disband, but I'm hopeful for Nakano's future.

19. Okada Nana (AKB48)
(-/-/-/-/2)

A bit of a fall for Nana, but it doesn't matter because she's still brilliant. As one of the members who basically give me some hope that AKB's variety talent won't fade soon, she's again had a pretty strong year at being serious business and meanwhile having a bit of a laugh as well. She's also (as you can see above) incredibly cute and so I hope for many very pleasant gravure spreads in the coming year.
 
18. Ogata Haruna (Morning Musume.)
(-/-/-/-/-)

 
So, the (to me) outstanding talent of Momusu's 12th generation. Why? Of course, it's because of Henkka. When the hell isn't it? This delightful thread gave me shivers of anticipation. It's been far too long since Kemekosomeone in Morning Musume has been willing to make a complete tit of themselves before they even have an established character. And I can't really count Aichan or Aika because that's how their faces actually looked like. And Norks evidently doesn't like doing the silly faces, so now it's Fuckface's turn. Plus, when she's not doing stupid faces, she's a figure skater and pretty damn cute, and she's from Osaka. Perfect.
 

17. Owada "Anything That Has A Pulse" Nana (AKB48)
(-/-/-/-/-)

So, apart from being cute as a really cute thing, what does the latest AKB "Next Generation Ace" (gotta be about thirty of those already, seriously...) have that sets her apart from the rest? Well, acting for one. Major role in that Sailor Zombie thing they had going for a while, now a supporting role in the latest Majisuka Gakuen. But there's something more. A quick search of AKB's Yuri Detector Tumblr yields that she's in more "pairings" than just about anyone ever. Very good at giving wota fanservice then. I expect a lot from her.

16. Ichino Narumi (SKE48)
(-/-/-/-/-)

That picture probably best symbolises Naru for me. She's only really recently come to my attention, in some swimming themed episodes of the SKE Zero Position show where she randomly tried swimming whilst dressed in a kappa kigurumi. Considering she nearly won despite the handicap, that was quite amusing. Apart from that, she's sort of been a loli character for a while, though she's now approaching 16 and SKE has a few members younger than her. She also looks a load like someone a bit higher on this list, and is really cute, so yes. Here.

15. Tomomi (Tsuki to Taiyou)
(-/-/-/-/-)

Tsuki to Taiyou are a group of quite young, quite fresh idols with a producer who called himself AkeyP and is full of really... really mental ideas. Like trying to get them to be mascots for the World Cup in 2018 in Russia by making them do 100 keepie-uppies each. At the moment the best score by one member is like 4. Good luck. Music-wise as well they're all over the place. Pop, metal and stuff that mixes the two. As for why Tomonya, well, she's just... cute. Even though she does have a pretty weird looking face. She's also really not put off by anything. I turned up to a show covered in (fake) blood once. The other members were all like "shit, what happened!?" Tomonya was just getting pissed off at me for not pronouncing cheki as "cheke", as only ever happens in AkeyP produced idol groups. For that, she gets here.

14. Akiyoshi Yuka (HKT48)
(-/-/-/-/6)

So, Akiyoshi. She's grown a lot over the last year. Gone from making cute faces and looking in awe at the world as if she's never seen anything before to being one of HKT's go-to-girls for MC skits, most notably in partnership with Tanaka Natsumi in the Mikan Sisters combi. Mikan sisters because Natsumikan is Natsumikan and Yuka just really... really fucking likes oranges. Notable in that the height difference is also pretty extreme. But it's always fun to watch. Of course, with the rise of NakoMiku, and lately Aramaki and Jaws Aika Eretan, Akiyoshi has been free to find her own niche that doesn't rely on being the token loli character. Her development into the world's best idol with a pentagonal face has just begun.

13. Kimoto Kanon (SKE48/HKT48)
(-/-/1/2/15)

There have been a few plus points that Non has had this year that helped her regain some ground in this list. The first is that she's turned into a fucking stunner. Secondly, despite Ebishow/Calcio/whatever this year being a bit pedantic and featuring frankly not enough Non, when she did appear, she shone. Thirdly, HKT. Good move. Sort of reinforced KIV as probably my favourite team in 48. Fourthly, she had her own entire corner on the otherwise frankly woeful Arubaito Theatre. As that corner consisted of her going to a lot of different places and then slowly removing her shoes and socks to the glorious accompaniment of Chopin's Nocturne Op9No2, and then going barefoot, the millions of foot fetishists that seem to frequent this site (based on the #2 most popular post ever on here, anyway) no doubt cried out, and then were suddenly silenced. Either way, more Non this year please, 48.

12. Matsugami Yuko (Slime Girls)
(-/-/-/-/-)

Matsugami Yuko, if you didn't know, is Alice Project's resident wristslitter. Well, we surmise that simply from the fact that she always has a bandage, or sleeve, or long glove, or a load of flowery wrist decorations, that go over her arm. But considering Alice Project... I wouldn't put it past them. But yes. Wristslitter. Yuko is cute. She is usually quite happy to talk to anyone. Recently she stopped showing up but it was because of a family loss or something, not because she did something stupid. Unlike that other girl...  Either way, one of the few beacons of hope for Alice Project.

11. Ishida Ayumi (Morning Musume.)
(-/-/-/4/8)

The hardest part of this post (yes, even harder than those black jokes in the entry before this) was deciding whether to use a cute Daaishi pic, a sexy Daaishi pic, or a pic full of Daaishi Feeling. That I even worried before I decided shows how much Ayumi is worth. Honestly, Daaishi Feeling is so strong in some pictures that I save them even though I have limited space. My poor HDD is overflowing with them. So I went for a cute one. Just because. So, why has Ayumi impressed me? Photobook. Being cool. Being funny in Lilium. Being full of Daaishi Feeling. And she's just so bloody adorable. And this year I think she's going to knock off Riho and steal the crown for herself. Fakjea.

So, part two of this post, with the top ten, will probably be posted. Eventually. If rabid Alice Project fans haven't ripped my entrails out.

Eren - Eren-chan, Chantoshite! album review

So, my first post in ages (again, sorry) and the first since moving to Japan. Honestly, I've got three posts on the go apart from this one, but I can't find the motivation to finish any of them.

Enter Eren. I've spoken about her before. She's a socially aware idol who failed every audition before deciding to go it alone. Her singing voice is unique, and her charm is her utter awkwardness.

As I'm awkward too it usually ends up in misunderstandings.

But anyway, to the music.

Preamble: The title,. which means, "Eren-chan, do it properly" is pretty much spot on. This is very much an indies record. The case it comes in is one of those cases that used to hold singles in the UK, back before singles became basically obselete. The booklet, on the other hand, is very pretty.

1. カラシメンタイコ. Ah, Karashi Mentaiko. Still one of the most fun audience participation songs I've ever been in the crowd for. The guitars and arrangement in general are well done. Especially the main riff. Eren's voice just sits above everything and somehow works. I'm not entirely sure how Eren's voice fits with anything, but somehow it ends up making sense when you hear it. The chorus is really catchy and fun. Obviously, experiencing it live is how I'd want everyone to be introduced to it. The wota do whack it up a notch. The middle-8 has a really nice riff, and then the guitar solo is so much fun she tells people to air guitar instead of wotagei. Honestly, a damn good way to start off the album. 9/10

2. それゆけ!でことらんど. A really bizarre and cutesy intro leads into... more really bizarre and cutesy stuff. The arrangement is really minimalist. Snaredrum, tuba, organ, and some noises. And Eren singing. Though that might qualify as "some noises" too... Then suddenly techno with Eren rapping over it. Talk about change of mood. Then back to the intro as if nothing happened. Then it ends. Really short. 6/10

3. ナポレオン・ボナパルト. And now we reach Napoleon. Thrash metal time. And the intro has the most dissonant solo I've ever heard. Except in my own house. Because I can't solo for shit. Then suddenly Eren thinks she's Tom Araya and riffs that could have come from Slayer start blasting out. Again, never thought Eren's voice would fit so well with the genre. It's really confusing but works. She starts narrating in the prechorus. Solo again and this time it's technically proficient. And long. I approve. Even blastbeats at the end. And I mean, end. No buildup, it just stops. Honestly, thrash metal better than most of the big four have released since the 80s. 10/10

4. 社交辞令. Shakou Jirei is where the whole "socially aware" tag comes from. It means lip service. It's also the most catchy fucking song ever. It's great. First time I ever saw Eren she started performing this. I got so into it I was dancing (yes, me) by the end. That's disturbing. Really, the catchiness of this thing is disturbingly high level. It's also a well put together song. Rather than leading up to one big hook, the whole damn thing is a hook. The mid-8 has another sexy guitar solo. She must like them. 10/10

5. いちころのトキメキ. Another rock-ish song. The guitar riffs in this aren't as amazing, but the lead guitarist is pulling off a lot of solo-face orgasm, so I can forgive them. Then we come to ska. Because ska. Really quite a nice bounce as well. All you can ask from ska really. Unfortunately this is the first time Eren's voice doesn't seem to fit in. The producer's worked miracles thus far, had to run out of luck and/or ability eventually. Not the best. 6/10

6. 体調不良. Taichou Furyou... this thing is so minimalist it's almost impossible. Starting from just glockenspiel, then suddenly gaining a buzzsaw synth and techno drum kit, then it builds to include some higher synths and DJ scratching, then some bouncing synth. The prechorus has some nice tranceyness. Then we get the chorus which builds even more on the textured layers. The second verse brings us back to basics then starts building again. It's really just an exercise in how to use minimalism in pop music. But it works. 9/10

7. 心の声。そして満ち足りた時間、あるいはかけがえのないもの. Idol Grindcore. The world is not ready. But another style that her voice really shouldn't fit but does, this time to the extent that you could imagine Napalm Death songs matched with her voice. The music pulls no punches. This is actually grindcore. Reminds me of From Enslavement to Obliteration. The little hooks in the chorus also seem to point at the thrash- and death-metal leanings of a lot of early grindcore bands. She also yells "FAKJEA!" which makes me laugh every time. Her narration also returns. We get a nice little breakdown with some evil sounding narration and then a guitar solo. Another long and sexy one. I love this. Fucking worth breaking the limiter. I should stop doing that... 11/10

8. 悩んでもへこたれても. And back to the pop music. So happy and synthpop it's insane. Reminds me of Splen. Never been a bad thing that's reminded me of Splen. Eren's voice fits, once again (seriously, the producers must be magicians or something). The chord progressions are damn good, the synths are nice. The bassline is pretty sexy as well. Another guitar solo. 8/10

9. 就職しないとナイト. Another song that is amazingly fun live. Punk as fuck. Reminds me a bit of Blue Hearts or something. About as blunt and to the point as you'd expect. Even got a punk chorus singing backup. The tropes are all there for the perfect punk song. Bass is loud as fuck. Eren is screaming like a nutter. The guitars are slightly too technically proficient, but honestly, this is pure fun punk. 10/10

10. なぜか涙がでちゃうんだ. Piano ballad time. Eren singing a ballad seems quite ludicrous. And it is. The vocal melodies are gorgeous, actually. The arrangement also nice. Eren's voice just really isn't a ballad-singing voice. There's a guitar solo, but there would be. Honestly, the song is worth a good 8 points. But the voice loses them. Sorry Eren. You're not a ballad singer. 5/10

Overall: Honestly, the miracles the producer achieved is insane. Only two songs in which Eren's voice seems out of place. For those who haven't heard Eren's voice, it's really quite reedy. Think of Moon Kana but not out of tune. It really is that high pitched. So for eight of the ten songs to somehow incorporate it successfully is out of this world. Also, despite the genres being all over the place, the vocals tie it all together in its Erenism. Songwise, they're all pretty damn good. One benefit to being a live idol is that there's immediate crowd reaction, so chances of anything shit making it to a record is reduced. Such is the case here. The only minor irksome point is the production levels. Despite the producer being a miracle-worker, you can only do so much on a limited budget, so the sound can get a bit thin at times, but all said and done a damn good album.

8.3/10

Year In Review 2014: A Golden Age for the Underground

So, 2014. The year where I basically became a completely normal working 9-6 stiff, cutting down on my blogging time. Also the year where I returned to Japan, not once but twice, experiencing several sides of Japan I'd scarce imagined believable. Considering last year's Year in Review was so successful (I mean, it's got 16k hits in one year. That's more than double any other post on this site) I figured I'd do the same thing this year. Screw the review everything stuff I used to do, I'll just give out random awards and then do the top albums of the year at the bottom. I don't have time to review everything anyway. At least this year the top albums bit should be a bit more difficult to guess than previous years, as I've only reviewed two albums this year.

So, onwards then to the awards.

Biggest Twat of 2014

Gotta be me. I've trolled idols. I've trolled management. I've trolled producers. I've trolled friends. I've somehow gotten away with all of it. A brief rundown: I told 9nine's Hiroro, who was blatantly crushing on Dean, that he was married. I told Asakura Ayaka that Dean had oshihenned but I'd try to get him to oshihen back. I was pretty mean to Oz's Koume (though everyone laughed) and Eren. I kept pretending to forget who Kai was everytime she changed costume at the Mad Tea Party (which, to be fair, was about four or five times). Even in my normal life, I got promoted, got someone fired, now I'm quitting at the same time as two others leaving the place woefully understaffed. And I sent off my resignation letter for the 23rd of December, when I knew no one would open it until close to the end of my notice period.

Definitely deserve it.


Best Music Video of 2014

As with the previous two years, this one is really a foregone conclusion. There's one music video director who, at the time of writing, stands head and shoulders above everyone else. And this year he's made a PV for the same band that have possibly the greatest music video of all time in my estimation. Well, shit.



Iceland. Scenery porn. Stuff on fire. Communist jeep. And a narrative.

Because Bowen Staines directed another music video last year that I missed out when taking into consideration videos for last year's award, I'll link that too:


(Have your best recreational mind-expanding substances close to hand)

Best Photobook of 2014

Umika released a photobook this year. Usually that would be assured first, but this year, shockingly, H!P have released a photobook that isn't brutally overexposed at every juncture. And it has some brilliant shots in it too. Umika's photobook is obviously more technically proficient, but Umika hasn't aged in about 5 years so it's pretty much very similar to her last one. On the other hand, Ishida Ayumi's shine more is quite lush.

The levels of Daiishi Feeling are off the charts. Not much else could defeat Umika in a straight fight.

Most Sadistic Idol of 2014

Sorry Kanatomo, but it's Montero. By a country mile.

Biggest Disappointment of 2014

Opeth. Their previous album, Heritage, was met with mixed reviews. Either people loved the shit out of its shameless lovemaking to 70s prog, or they hated it because it wasn't Death Metal or something. Either way, Akerfeldt wasn't going to change anything about it. Then this year, they released Pale Communion. Critics fell over themselves to jizz over it. It was lauded from absolutely every angle. And I hated it.

Certainly, it's nothing to do with the lack of death metal. I loved Heritage. I loved Damnation. But where those two albums were unashamedly progressive, Pale Communion seems to be somewhat embarassed by its progressive bits and attempts to cover them up with slow ballad-y bits or soft-rock. It seems to owe more to early Sabbath than anything else, the occasional hammond organs the only reminder that it's supposed to be prog. Listen to River and attempt to find prog. At first it sounds more like it escaped from a Nickleback record. Then there's some organs, but instruments alone can't make something prog, otherwise everything that ever used a hammond would be prog. There is a funky solo in it. Then it ends pop rock. The last two songs make up a lot of points but the record as a whole is an abject disappointment.



The reason I've always loved Opeth is because it has challenged me as a listener. This is easy listening.

Runner up is Devin Townsend's Z2. Have been looking forward to the Ziltoid sequel for years. And then Dark Matters.

Mindfuck Use Of Flash On a PV of 2014

Uesaka Sumire - Enma Daiou ni Kiitegoran

Warning: The object physics may bugger your RAM. Uesaka Sumire proving once again that sanity is for lesser beings.

Best 80s Throwback Idol of 2014



Not today, Milky. NOT. TO. DAAAAAAAAAY. Tentenko beat the hell out of dat.

Most Idiotic Filming Location in a PV in 2014



Really, Alice Project? You're going to film a beach and bikinis PV... in a typhoon. Mad props.

Still got more budget than a H!P PV though...

Most Epic Sounding Idol Songtitle of 2014



Would probably also win the awards for "Biggest Letdown After an Epic Sounding Songtitle of 2014" and "Idol Song That Tries Hardest To Be Harlem Shake of 2014". Anything with "GALAXY BOMB!" in the title needs to at least blow up the fucking galaxy. Or a Galaxy.

Most Random Popularity Raising Gimmick of 2014



Tsuki to Taiyou are a group I saw in March just after they debuted. At the time they were playing at events with Lolisyn and 2&, which is basically the "really indie" bit of the underground of idoldom. Now they've moved up a bit to the next level above. They have real costumes (look at bit like Momusu costumes, come to think of it) and released their first single on the 23rd of December. So why did their producer decide, in all his wisdom (his pseudonym is AkeyP, if that gives any indication of his wisdom), to challenge the members of Tsukitai to attempt to do 100 keepie-uppies so that they could go to Russia to do some reporting at the World Cup in 2018? And possibly a support song? Fuck knows. Either way, they're on the way up pretty fast, so they're a group I'd recommend keeping an eye on to get in and see now and pick an oshi so they remember you when they're famous.

PV That Most Transcended Time And Space (and Budget) of 2014



Goodbye, next two years of Momusu PV greenscreen budget.

Shittiest Death Vocals in an Idol Group of 2014 Ever



Ah, Death Rabbits. Seriously, where the fuck did they find that guy? I could deathgrowl better than that before my balls dropped. And with the rise of idols who do their own death growling (Halu from Lolisyn; Rei and Saki in Guso Drop; Shuri, then Nono, now Mai in Next Shoujo Jiken) they really just need to kick his ass out at the soonest opportunity. Which apparently they plan to do soon, after the one man live or something. Buchou is also really weak. Got moshed to death in both Zekkyousuru 60do and Lolisyn moshpits. Despite wearing armour.

Best Metal Scream of 2014



Tsukitai again. So, it sounds pretty idolish. Where, you ask, might this metal scream be? Well, after spending the entire song singing about wanting to scream, Megu actually does at 3:43. So unexpect. Wow. 

Sexy Saxman Saxogram of 2014

Most of you are probably sitting back and thinking "who the fuck is this guy?" Well, more pity you. His name is Jørgen Munkeby, and he owns your soul. His main band is a group called Shining, who took jazz, stuck it in a blender and then jizzed metal all over it. It sounds something like this:



Note the glorious saxophonious saxophonousness at 2:30. In recent years he's also worked with Ihsahn, the genius behind Emperor, Hardingrock, Peccatum and... um... Ihsahn. He's worked with Enslaved. With In Lingua Mortua. It all seems to stem from Ephel Duath's penchant for jazz-heavy black metal and hardcore on Painter's Palette all those years ago.

Anyway, this year Munkeby performed on possibly the craziest thing yet: a duel/duet with Marty Fucking Friedman. No doubt you'll hear that later in this post, so I won't link it for now.

Either way, Sexy Saxman Saxogram. Shwing.

In related news, Embertone released a Sensual Saxophone VST (virtual instrument, for those who don't make music). The only VST in the world where the only variable is how much sex the saxophonist is having with his saxophone.

Best Instructional Video on How to Crash a Party of 2014



Alestorm once again debauching wenches, drinking mead (rum, beer, whisky, buckfast, etc) and having a shitload of fun. So just remember, if you're crashing a party, don't forget to do it in your pirate ship.


Most Angry Idols of 2014

ANGERME.

Lol.

Seriously, I'm never going to say that in a normal voice. Going to death vocal it every time I hear it. Might have to write a death metal song to take the piss too.

Best Musical of 2014
Most Glorious Attempted Suicide Scene of 2014
Best Song From a Musical of 2014

All of these awards go to Lilium.

And the suicide scene is obviously Riho near the end. Even though I don't really like S/mileageANGERME they impressed me in this. Pretty much everyone impressed me, actually. I used to hate H!P musicals more than anything. And then in a short space of time we've had C-ute as devils, Morning Musume zombies being cut into 362 pieces and now vampire suicides. It does give me hope, I must admit. And Eli Eli Lema Sabachtani is amazing. Where the fuck was Meimi hiding that voice? Hopefully not in her hair because that's gone now.

Most Blasphemous Music Video of 2014

You know you've got a fight on your hands when Behemoth go head to head with Tokyo Girls' Style.

Wait, what?



Baphomet literally (as well as figuratively) cloaking Ayano in sin at the end there is glorious.

After that, how can Behemoth compare?



Well... Starts out sedately enough. For Behemoth. Then all chaos breaks loose.

Still, both fail next to Gorgoroth.

Best Time Travel of 2014



Ah, Denpa... this song is nuts. So is the PV. I like. Also, ooh, Moga.

Top Five Albums of 2014

5.  Alestorm - Sunset on the Golden Age

Songs to listen to: Magnetic North, 1747 (The Battle of Cartagena), Wooden Leg, Sunset on the Golden Age.

Once again Alestorm crack my list. So, the answer to the age old question, "has Christopher Bowes grown up?" is of course, a resounding no. However, he's now keeping most of his randomness to asdfgfa and writing damn good stuff with Alestorm. Drink, as I linked above, is a wonderful little song with a brilliant chorus. And it's still probably only the fifth best song on the album. Magnetic North has some glorious folkiness, another catchy chorus, some Turisas/Bal-Sagoth epic bits, Death Metal, and fuck knows what else. They also used it as a collaboration with Lady Gaga... Wait, that was just Bowes' humour again. 1747 and Sunset both showcase the ability of the band to hold one's attention for long spans of time, which usually folk or power metal don't attempt. After Death Throes of the Terrorsquid on Back Through Time, it's good to see them pursue some more of that. Wooden Leg is possibly the only way you can scream "ARR YOU JAPANESE BASTARDS!" and get away with it. Elsewhere, they've experimented with surf music in Surf Squid Warfare, and and covering shitty pop songs with Hangover. Most fun I've had listening to an album this year.

4. Hail Spirit Noir - Oi Magoi!

Songs to listen to: The Mermaid, Satan is Time, Demon for a Day, Blood Guru.

If you've been reading my blogs for a really fucking long time, you might have spotted an addendum in my first FAKSM on Beat Laments the World about a Greek experimental black metal band called Transcending Bizarre?. I moaned that they hadn't pursued more crazy shit in their last album, Misanthrope's Fable. It turned out that that was because they had formed a new band, called Hail Spirit Noir, and made it basically the melding of 1969 Pink Floyd, Änglagård and the rawest, most brutal black metal possible. This year they released a their second album, Oi Magoi, which basically fucks your brains out with soundwaves. Everything is either gorgeous or grotesque. Reminds me slightly of Sigh if they ever decided to devote themselves to going in one direction instead of all directions at once. Or, in a more idol-centric version, the melding of Bellring Shoujo Heart and BiS.

3. Babymetal - Babymetal

Songs to listen to: Megitsune, Benitsuki -Akatsuki-, Akumu no Rondo, Headbanger, IDZ.

Really a damn good album. Can't say much more than I did in my review earlier this year. Except fuck me their live gig in London was amazing. The first one, anyway, I was in Japan when they did the second one.

There are moments in musical history when you sort of wonder if you're standing on the verge of something new. I think Babymetal hit that this year. They've achieved public consciousness. All that's left is for Moa to throw pig heads into the crowds, sacrifice Yui to Satan, assassinate the prime minister, take over Japan, conquer the earth, blow up some stars, then usurp the throne of god.

I'll give her until 2016.

2. Bellring Shoujo Heart - Undo the Union

Songs to listen to: Rainy Dance; get rid of the Chopper; 男の子、女の子; Revelry!!!

Fucking Bellheart. They left this late. Released on 23rd of December. Limited to very few copies which are already sold out. They've basically created a legend, because this is fucking amazing. Very few misses are present (c.a.n.d.y being the most obvious standout, being a pretty basic clone of Blur's Song 2). There are pretty rock songs (Rainy Dance), pretty 60s and chill prog songs (most of the album), songs that are heavy as a really heavy thing (Chopper), exercises in complete experimental music (Otoko no ko, Onna no ko) and jazz with a random waltz in the middle (Revelry!!!). The production level has jumped up hugely. The quality of the songwriting is just as high as the first album. Honestly, even with Tira gone, and Mizuho splitting her time between Bellheart and a unit with a girl from Yurumerumo, this is going down as one of the best idol albums ever. Along with the first Bellheart album. Will review this properly at some point. I would like to meet their producer. Shake their hand. Then probably die of awesomeness.

1. Marty Friedman - Inferno

Songs to listen to: Inferno, Steroidhead, Meat Hook, Sociopaths, Undertow, Horrors.

Shit, Marty Friedman has basically melded all of his influences, all his experiences from Cacophony up to Momoclo into this one album. And holy shit is it amazing. The only "weak" point on this thing is the fact that the track Hyper Doom was previously used as part of Chai Maxx on the Metal Clone X album. His guitar work is, as ever, brilliant. Unlike a lot of the other neoclassical crowd, he doesn't rely simply on sweeping the shit out of everything to wow people. The song Undertow is incredibly slow and poignant, but still somehow showcases his neoclassicalness. If that's a word. Horrors was written by Jason Becker and features some of his original guitar work, despite him having had ALS since the early 80s. The darkness and light combine on this album. Nowhere more noticably than the two tracks Wicked Panacea and Meat Hook. Wicked Panacea features Rodrigo y Gabriela, everyone's favourite classical guitarists who were metalheads. Meat Hook features SEXY SAXMAN SAXOGRAM and fuck me it blows my mind.



Honestly, this album can be streamed on youtube for free by the label. Generous or what? Do so while you can. It's genius.

Anyway, in 2015 I'm moving to Japan. See you there, fuckers.

Pozdrav,
Krv

Post Japan Group Write Up 4: Random Thoughts, Far Flung Reaches of the Netherverse, Tankene Vandrer i et Univers Langt Unna

That's right, it's time for:

Guso Drop

Whilst I did go into a lot of detail in my part three of Japan post, I think I need to make a post that profiles the members slightly more than just Saki. Otherwise it's mildly unfair.

In any case, Guso Drop are the new(ish) idol group formed by the same people behind 2&. Their theme, as far as I've managed to ascertain, is uncertain. The website describes them as "Soft Prick-Style Idols". I have absolutely no fucking idea what that means. The music is mostly of a rock nature, playing with djent, dubstep, punk, post-metal and a bit of thrash just to, you know, break the minds of anyone listening. I've seen them compared to PassCode, which is probably about the only thing anywhere close.

Live

Their live performances are crazy. I've linked some videos before but I'll link them again because I can.


Level


Slow Rain @Tokyo


Betsuni Jouzu Janakutemo Iijan, Takaga Ongaku Nandakara. Nee? Toge Onna.

They released a PV not too long ago for their latest song, Middle of Nowhere PUNK Pseudo-Girl.



It is, after all, very punk. Actually among the most punk idol songs I've ever heard. Also showcases quite a bit of characters, quite a bit of what their lives are like and some of buppan.

Also going to link Level 6 because I really like the death-vocal tradeoff between Saki and Rei at 2:19.



Anyway, some more information on the members:

Rei (Boss)

Birthday: 19th July
Blog: Here
Middle Finger Colour: Black

Rei is the short-haired Moga-like (Moga from Denpagumi, if you're confused) member. She actually does look surprisingly akin to Moga as well. One of Guso Drop's two death vocalists. She is a fan of Slipknot, and survives on Monster energy drink (though she also likes Rockstar). Because her image colour is black, and black glowsticks are rather difficult, she has jokingly suggested to use McKee marker pens.

Shion

Birthday: 14th August
Blog: Here.
Middle Finger Colour: Purple

Shion is the cool beauty one. She is quite cold, quite good at staring unnervingly and quite disturbingly powerful on stage. Hardly ever smiles, outside of live performances. In that respect she actually reminds me quite a lot of Turbonegro's Pål Pot Pamparius. When there's no music, stern facial expression. When music starts, happiness. She's the headbanging ace. Quite a resemblance to Kuriyama Chiaki.

Saki

 
Birthday: 11th March
Blog: Here.
Middle Finger Colour: Red

So, Saki. No, absolutely, definitely not that other Saki. Definitely not. Right. Saki is the centre. She's the other of the death vocalists, being a bit more of a screamer to Rei's growler. As you may be able to see, she's wearing a necklace filled with ikura, or salmon roe. This is apparently her favourite. She blogs way too much, having a hell of a lot more entries than anyone else on there. Obviously singing is a strength. And she's short. Good.

Yura

Birthday: 27th January
Blog: Here.
Middle Finger Colour: Yellow

Yura is the twin-tailed, always happy, always talkative, seemingly always eating (well, she is yellow) one of the lot. Also seems like a bit of a ditz, but unsure as to how much of that is real and how much is the twintails. She does a lot of facial expressions that make her look like a smiley, most notably a very well done impression of the :P emoticon. As a noted abuser of said emoticon, that makes me somewhat happy.

Anna

Birthday: 24th October.
Blog: Here.
Middle Finger Colour: Blue

They say her colour is "water blue" but everything contradicts that so I'm just going with blue. She's the youngest. In the songs she's the one who usually takes the spoken word monologues and seems to be the most normal of the members. Looks wise she reminds me a bit of Watanabe Miyuki doing the 80s-shtick thing at the moment.

So yes, the members. You've seen some lives. Now comes buppan. Where you will get confused.

Buppan

Here is a link to what you can buy: Goods.

Now, every time you buy something worth more than 1000 yen you get a communication ticket for a member. If you buy a cheki (which is 1000 yen) you get to have a communication ticket with the person you bought the cheki with, so they can sign it or scribble on it. They also have like a cheki lottery, that you do for 500 yen and if you win you get a cheki or something. The cheki ticket is a weird one. You can have it done with your own camera or phone or whatever, if you don't like carrying around polaroids everywhere in a little album. The actual cheki bit is short as hell because the talking and stuff is supposed to be done with the communication ticket.

Gushin

The bit at the top of the goods page above is the Gushin Card. It's basically a fanclub card. It costs 1000 yen. When you first enrol, you get:

• The card.
• A proof of joining photo (2L size) and they post another on Twitter.
• Thank you for joining all member handshake (10 seconds each) on the day of joining only.
• 5 Communication Tickets (one for each member)

 Further Perks include:

• One time only free entry to a paid live (Red Nose Lives are free so don't count. Public lives also don't count).
• Discounted goods.
• Exclusive goods.
• Gushin Member only events (possibility)

So quite a lot for 1000 yen. Also, when they hit a certain number of Gushin members (300) they get to hold a one-man live. At the moment they're at about 78 or something.

Obviously, you can't have more than one card, you can't let someone else use your card, and if you lose it you have to pay 500 yen to get a new one.

Rules

Yes, there are some. I'm translating this right from the website's Rules page.

1. Regarding Communication Time.
At the onset, please buy the goods you would like from the staff. For every 1000 yen you spend you get a communication ticket. After this, please separate into five lines and go into the one of the member you wish to communicate with. Communication tickets are to be used one at a time. Please refrain from using multiple tickets together. Depending on the size of the event, the communication time will differ. Whilst the majority of the time one ticket will get you one minute, be advised that at large-scale events it may be reduced to between 45 and 30 seconds. This is to ensure parity between all fans, so that as many as possible can attend the communication time. Please make note of this beforehand. If any questions, consult with staff.

2. Regarding Touching, Handshakes and the ilk.
Please be advised that during communication time, you may not high five, shake hands or otherwise touch the members.

3. Regarding the taking or making of photos or videos.
In Guso Drop, members are not to be used as subjects of movie or audio recordings. Please understand and cooperate. During shows, it is prohibited to take photos, make videos or audio recordings of Guso Drop.
If the rules are not followed, then the staff or event officials reserve the right to not only stop any further recordings, but also to erase the photographic, movie or audio data on the spot. In the event of malicious content, such as peeping photos or secret recordings being taken, you will thereafter be prohibited from entering further lives or events.

4. Regarding presents and fanletters.
Please do not hand directly to the members, such as during communication time. Hand them to the staff whilst clearly stating who they are for.

5. Other.
Please refrain from attempting to talk to the members, shake hands with the members, or ask them to sign things before and after lives and events, and also during their breaks.


Well, that was interesting. Very few indie idol groups are so matter of fact about their rules. It's usually word of mouth mixed with some Chinese whispers. I think they might have had a bad experience in the past.

In any case, Guso Drop are rising fast. If you're in Tokyo, swing by Shinjuku Red Nose on a Tuesday evening for a free live. Plus 500 yen for a drink. If you can't find Red Nose, look for Ruido K4 signs. Have fun, fuckers.

Anyway, I think that's the longest one of these yet. Intriguing.

Other links:

Official Site
Official Twitter
Producer's Twitter (also 2&'s producer)