So, the time has come. The time of reckoning. The opening of the wormhole to the next and 5th Dimension. The progression of Momoiro Clover Z to ever greater heights.

Or something.

It's worth pointing out at this point that Battle and Romance was one of my favourite idol albums ever, and if I hadn't actually reviewed the second disc it would have been even higher. The bar is thus set rather high from the start and there's no shame in falling short of the exacting requirements needed to better the first album. Still, with luck (and a great deal of hope), this album won't fall anywhere. It may even surprise me and match (or possibly even better) the first. We shall see.

I'll start off with a word of warning. This post is a bit wordier than I planned. Also, you might want to keep your mouse handy to hover over the text, this post is link heavy, but the new theme doesn't really draw any attention to them whatsoever.

It was only yesterday when I was saying that my feelings towards this blog were that it was becoming a chore, and that I'd likely move everything over to Beat Laments The World from now on and then leave this here.

But, then today, I saw something. Idolminded is having its anniversary and Ray posted a series of Blog Maintenance topics that got me thinking, especially this one.

I can't remember how long I had the pink theme. I remember I had a white one before it, but that didn't last more than a few months, if I recall, which means that I had the pink theme for about 3.5 years, somewhat longer then than Ray's annual change. It also took me back to something Dean (who used to write for Yonasu but dunno what he's doing these days) said not long back: that my theme was shit.

That, to be honest, was perfectly true. However, in my general feeling of disregard for this blog I gave not a fig and carried on regardless.

However, upon seeing Ray's blog today I started thinking. Then after thinking I went straight into blogspot's helpfully useless Template editor and started screwing around. That theme was probably up for about an hour before I thought, "hold on, I need a new banner."

I made the banner you now see, which is horrific and needs fixing, in about half an hour, and uploaded it.

"There, done," I thought to myself, clicking off and buggering off to do somewhat else.

Ten minutes later I was back and browsing template themes. I found one I really liked, then spent the better part of the next three hours tweaking it until it stopped sucking. The work on Blogger never ends...

The idea behind the new theme is a bit more of a Web 2.0 look, a more concise theme. You may see the posts in the slider bar: those are the top viewed posts. I have nothing to do with it. Don't blame me that the number of foot fetishists on the internet outnumber the ass fetishists, leg fetishists and hip fetishists by a significant amount.

I wanted a theme that was both clean and dark, because the interlude theme was a very dark grey and light blue theme I chose to stick mostly to those colours, and ended up with a black and light grey theme.

I also deleted some of the various sidebars, moved the album rating compendium up in the header and wrote a new About page.

Anyway, this blog did have a point, that being: someone, out of the kindness of your heart please make me a banner that doesn't suck. If you want to, there's a bunch of social media links at the bottom now where you can stalk me tell me if you want to make me a banner.

The other point is that the new theme has made me somewhat more receptive of the idea of continuing with this blog. Hell, you can't spend most of a day turfing out bits and pieces of HTML and Javascript and chopping and mending CSS without coming to fall in love with something again. So yea, I probably won't quit. Until I have to review the Berryz album and then I'll want to stop again.

Anyway, until next time.

Krv

I'll be honest, my feelings towards this blog are becoming almost certain that it's now redundant, a water-laden ship wallowing half-sunk upon the waves of the wota blogosphere. The few features I do now: the album reviews, the January idol list and the December Year in Reviews are becoming harder and more time-consuming to write. Of course, this is because when I started this blog I was very solely stuck to H!P, and then it was mostly Momusu. Of course, I expanded, and quickly, being DD will do that to you. Perhaps too quickly. My idol bodyparts list sank, I doubt I'll ever finish it. It's not that it's hard to write; indeed, there is very little writing to be done. It's that it's tedium. And that's the way I feel in general now about writing for this blog. Album reviews no longer flow like rivers from my fingertips. The new Berryz album awaits, unlistened to. The new Momoclo album beckons, yet the words of praise falter on my lips, the minor disappointment of Neo Stargate fresh in my memory.

Even on the other side, on Beat Laments The World, has my content slowed to a stuttering halt. I still write posts, of a surety, but I'm nearly a year since my last massive list post and no further ideas strike me. Those that do sit, awaiting but someone to stoke the flames. It seems then, I must content to idle, posting what unwelcome reviews I may, and generally existing until I regain somewhat of my sundered inspiration. I'm even considering moving everything over there (probably to Henkka's annoyance) and just leaving this place to rot in peace, a derelict monolith to the follies of youth. Another point in favour of that course of action is that Wordpress is decidedly less willfull than Blogspot, much as I disdain of the control panel in it. I've had to code half of this post fully, yet the other half was content with simple enters and Ctrl commands. I'm undecided though.

But anyway, enough lamenting. As some of you may know, 9nine released their new album CUE not long back, and this has given me the opportunity to further rack myself with tedium. As I did with Tokyo Girls' Style, I'll do a bit of a music retrospective, and review all of their albums, due to me being yet to review any of them. Of course, that means hours of listening and writing for me, and probably a lot of time reading and getting bored for you. Good thing the tedium cuts both ways, I guess.

Anyway, I'll touch briefly into 9nine's history. They're all on the LesPros agency, and formed at some point in 2005 and worked up to an indies debut called Sweet Snow in 2006. Then they released some digital singles (seemingly their preferred method of distribution), starting with Shine, and a few physical ones, alongside two albums on Victor, which endured until halfway through 2010. Then they redebuted under Sony, and released some actual singles. The Victor era was exemplified by weird release strategies and hardly any sales or promotion, the Sony era practically the opposite, though these reviews will decide on the most important factor: the music.

PVs are scarce. The indies stuff is nigh unfindable, the Victor stuff given but brief snippets, and the Sony stuff hidden behind SMEJ's great anti-gaijin firewall. Of course, pretty much the only PVs on youtube are the ones for the songs that aren't on any album. Great.

Damn long post title is long.

Anyway, today I'm going to share my thoughts on what I think of as the "Avex Model" of idols. Recently they've sort of broken out of this model by launching Idol Street, a few groups who are more idol-like idols than Avex's normal, dance and vocal shtick. However, when I think of Avex I always think of groups like MAX, AAA, later SPEED, SweetS, and nowadays TGS, Dream5 and Fairies.

I'll admit, this type of music doesn't usually do much for me. Much of it is too urban, and I'm never too keen on that. Also, it used to seem to me that too much effort was wasted on ensuring the beat was danceable, and then they skimped like hell on the actual musical bits. However, of late, I've had to amend my thoughts a bit.

You might remember a while back I reviewed a bunch of idol albums I'd been neglecting. In amongst that was the debut album of Tokyo Girls' Style. I didn't give it a particularly good review, indeed, it was the lowest of those on that post. However, there were definite standout moments amongst the moments of mediocrity, such as the still amazingly beautiful Sayonara, Arigatou and the amazing funkiness and chorus of Himawari to Hoshikuzu.

Fast forward rather a bit more. A few months back my bandmate, who usually sticks to his comfort zone in idol music, namely oldschool H!P stuff and a smattering from elsewhere, actually recommended something to me that I'd never heard before, rather than the other way around. It was Dream5's frankly disturbingly amazing COME ON! It managed to do what I hadn't up until that point been entirely sure was actually possible. It had mixed a driving beat which lent itself to a dance even I paid attention to (and that's impressive, there are very few dances that can do that to me, because I have no fucking clue what to look for in a dance) yet also had a nice techno driven tune, and the greatest chord progression in the history of music in the chorus. Not bad going.

Even more recently, I randomly heard what can only be described as TGS' tribute to Sigh in the frankly astoundingly win Bad Flower.

Then I saw the DVD for Sasshi's Idol Event, Yubi Matsuri, which featured TGS. They actually seemed to be human, rather than the emotionless robots I expected. I decided to do some more research... And the rest, as they say, is history. I grabbed the latest two TGS albums I'd not heard yet and pressed play. Now I'll review them so I can see if my slightly revised view of Avex has had any effect.

So, I'm straying quite far from my usual type of post here. Usually I stick to what I know: music and cute girls. If I like the music, I listen. If I like the girls, I'll watch their variety shows or buy their photobooks. However, with the business side of idoldom, I tend to ignore it. Apart from the odd bitch at Tsunku for screwing something up, which probably isn't Tsunku's fault in the first place, but Yamazaki Naoki's. Or maybe if a girl gets pushed I really can't stand or one ragequits that I think should have been pushed.

But events of the past day or so have changed that.

Thursday was the first day of AKB's annual Request Hour concert, during which they count down from 100 to 1 their best songs, as voted for by fans (who get the voting tickets through buying the October single, mostly). Thursday's day one was odd, but I thought nothing of it until I saw a post by the man himself, Akimoto Yasushi, on G+.

So, the second half of my delightful, glorious list that stands as a monolith raised to honour the idols, false goddess if you pay attention to such things but walking beams of radiance if you don't, that have impressed me (and hopefully, the rest of you) in the previous year.

Some of you of keener eye and sharper intellect may have noted the apparent dearth of H!P girls in the first half and wondered if I'd kept them all for this half. Well, wait and see. You might also have noticed the abundance of NMB girls and wondered if I'd exhausted the supply of them. Again, wait and see.

Others will wonder that with so many newcomers in the ranks already whether the second half will be a little more familiar to you. Time will tell.

To recap, 20-11 were laid out thus:

20. Shiroma Miru
19. Yogi Keira
18. Kodama Haruka
17. Kudou Haruka
16. Hirota Aika
15. Miyawaki Sakura
14. Ikoma Rina
13. Kashiwa Yukina
12. Ichikawa Miori
11. Momota Kanako

Another quick look at the rules:

1. I define idols as current members of a current group who currently release idol music, or solo singers who do the same and are generally defined as idols.
2. If a former member of an idol group redebuts under a different name or as a solo singer, or both, and is still primarily known as an idol, they qualify.
3. However, members of retrospective groups that merely take the limelight away from current members do not.

And onwards to the bit you've been waiting for...

So, time once again for my idol list. This looks back at the idols that have impressed me most in the previous 12 months (aside from the first one I did, in which I just ranked everyone ever). This year I've taken out some of the silly rankings (2011's "make it up as I go along and fap" and 2012's "7 arbitrary headings") and just gone with gut instinct based on who's made the most impression on me this year.

Of course, me being me, don't expect too many frontgirls. Not to say there aren't any, there are. But I don't understand a lot of frontgirl hate, nor a lot of frontgirl popularity, so this is just based on me and my random sense of who has been awesome this year.

This year I'm back down to doing twenty in two posts, as the 25 last year broke my tagging system.

Firstly, the rules:

1. I define idols as current members of a current group who currently release idol music, or solo singers who do the same and are generally defined as idols.
2. If a former member of an idol group redebuts under a different name or as a solo singer, or both, and is still primarily known as an idol, they qualify.
3. However, members of retrospective groups that merely take the limelight away from current members do not.


Secondly, let's recap last year's Top 25 (with 2010/2011 in brackets):

25. Sayashi Riho (-/-)
24. Watanabe Miyuki (-/-)
23. Suzuki Kanon (-/20)
22. Shimazaki Haruka (-/-)
21. Takayanagi Akane (-/-)
20. Tsugunaga Momoko (10/9)
19. Sato Amina (-/-)
18. Sashihara Rino (-/11)
17. Michishige Sayumi (12/10)
16. Nakagawa Haruka (-/-)
15. Okada Robin Shouko (17/2)
14. Watanabe Mayu (-/14)
13. Yajima Maimi (14/12)
12. Kitahara Rie (-/-)
11. Masuda Yuka (-/-)
10. Asakura Saki/Kuwae Sakina (2/-)
9. Oota Aika (-/-)
8. Kawashima Umika (-/1)
7. Ariyasu Momoka (-/-)
6. Matsui Rena (-/-)
5. Ichikawa Miori (-/-)
4. Umeda Ayaka (-/-)
3. Suzuki Airi (9/8)
2. Yamamoto Sayaka (-/-)
1. Kimoto Kanon (-/-)

Now, I'll explain a few who aren't on this year's list despite being on last year's, as well as a few girls who impressed me but either fizzled out or just didn't do quite enough to reach the list.

Graduations:

- Only one this year. Masuda Yuka got caught spending the night at some rapper's house during the course of a musical they were both doing, apparently other people were present, but she decided she wanted to quit anyway as she didn't even put up a fight and announced her graduation straight away. It didn't take effect until the end of December, but as she's gone now, she's not eligible. 

Dropped Out of List:

- Sayashi Riho, Suzuki Kanon and Michishige Sayumi from Morning Musume. In part, this is down to me reducing it back to 20 idols only. Riho wouldn't have got in last year had it not been for Nacchan quitting in the middle of my post. Kanon has powered down incredibly in the last year, and requires more spastic butterfly impressions. Sayu has impressed me (her leadership is better than I thought, and her passing the One Month 10000 yen challenge increased my respect for her a lot, especially after Kasai's failure), but due to a new batch of Momusu girls impressing me and generally increased competition from idols across the board, she lost out.

- Shimazaki Haruka, Sato Amina, Watanabe Mayu, Kitahara Rie and Umeda Ayaka from AKB48. Paruru has bored the fuck out of everyone this past year, and while she's still adorable, it doesn't make up for the Shiritsu Bakaleya Koukou catastrophe, the Majisuka Gakuen 3 catastrophe, and the general sense of melancholy she radiates, as evinced by the Mechaike AKB special, where Yabe tried to get her to break out of her shell. The result was a success... for about 10 minutes. Having said that, if personality had any effect on popularity whatsoever, Aichan and Acchan would never have been popular. Amina had a difficult year. Her first election where she wasn't in senbatsu. Lack of screentime in basically anything. Her only real exposure was AKB0048, and as that's an anime it's not great for becoming acquainted with girls. Mayuyu was pushed like fuck in 2012, came second in the elections, and was everywhere. Despite that, I never really saw her on anything. Her drama was boring. Her singles until Synchro Tokimeki were boring. Umechan had an okay year, and was made new Team B captain, but other than that not a great deal besides coming second in the second AKBingo Utahime singing contest.

- Takayanagi Akane and Matsui Rena from SKE48. SKE have had a pretty boring year. Magical Radio 2 was good, but frankly Yuria, Kuumin and Non stole the show from everyone else. Churi also lost her XX senbatsu spot, and as such didn't get much appearance time. Rena's still been ever present, but aside from her respectably good photobook hasn't done much evil laughing or sticking broken pencils up people's noses this year, thus misses out.

- Sashihara Rino and Oota Aika from HKT48. Sasshi's scandal landed her in HKT. She's made the most of it, came 4th in the election, released two singles, became MC of new HKT program, did a terrible drama and film, and ended up way out of the list. Not because of the scandal, not at all, just because I haven't seen her screaming in fear for far too long. Lovetan likewise got shafted to HKT, but her popularity is on a wane and besides Hakata Hyakkaten I don't think I've seen her on anything this year.

- Nakagawa Haruka is still adorable, but got sent to JKT and is still awesome, but I don't see her enough anymore. Plus she's always tweeting in Indonesian now, which I know very little of.

- Okada Robin Shouko is also still awesome, but once more the lack of PB, the lack of exposure and so on and so forth equal her dropping out.

- Yajima Maimi, despite still being the most delectable female form in existence, had a boring year. Seriously, have you seen that Chelsie DVD? My advice, don't. Unless you want to watch a 50 minute video where it takes two minutes to zoom in from a full-body shot of her reclining on a sofa to a full-body-shot-from-the-ankles-up of her reclining on a sofa. Probably about 12 minutes of content, slowed down to 25%. Plus the 70s porn soundtrack in the background. Plus she didn't smile during the whole course of the thing. Worst. Idol. DVD. Ever.

- Asakura Saki is still cute and small and awesome, but she's not had a lot to do this year. Appeared in a musical called Asakura in Wonderland. Recorded a few more indie as fuck songs. Not a lot.

- Tsugunaga Momoko has bored the fuck out of me all year.

- Yamamoto Sayaka stopped doing castle impressions and cut her hair. Big loss.

Nearly Made It:

- Natsuyaki Miyabi impressed me a lot in Paris. She seemed more natural and composed than Airi or Momo, and looked a lot better in person too.

- Takahashi Juri, Okada Nana, Kojima Natsuki, Hirata Rina, and Tano Yuuka all impressed me in various ways this year. Even though Juri has eyes deader than the depths of space. But yea, impressed I was, and hopeful for their future.

- 9th gen Momusu have impressed me this year, certainly. Just 10th gen impressed me more.

- Isohara Kyouka, Umemoto Madoka, Suga Nanako are the SKE members who impressed me this year that I'd never heard of last year. Kizaki Yuria, Yagami Kumi and Katou Rumi also continued improving this year. Shame Kuumin's leaving at some point this year.

- Murata Hirona of 9nine.

So, whereas last year I lost 11 people through various things, this year I've lost 18. So it's going to be rather a new list. So, let's enjoy eh...

I won't lie, Part 1 of this post was a bit of a rambling, incoherent mess. Such are the problems with trying out a new format for something. Anyway, this post will probably adhere slightly more to my usual standard than that last piece of nonsense. So, awards, bests, worsts, and a top ten list which should probably have been posted like ten days ago on Beats but which has been sitting in the draft section fully completed just waiting for someone to click the post button. All of these and more to be found below.

Biggest Tosser of the Year 2012


That's right, it's Hyadain. Don't get me wrong, I think the guy's fucking gifted, and while maybe not quite a genius, he's only a few rungs down from it. So why's he the biggest tosser of the year? Well, a few reasons. I've decided that I can't give the award to Tsunku yet again (face it, he'd probably get it every year), and I don't think any idols have pissed me off a great deal this year. AkiP has been at his trolling-best, so that basically leaves Hyadain. So, how has he been a cunt this year? Well, his (incredibly bloated) solo album was finally released. It contains some very good songs (plus decent cameos in some of them from other artists he's written for, including a lulzy Momoclo appearance). It also contains one of the most sudden and out of place random Gothenburg Death Metal songs I've ever heard. The English version is here, but the album version is in JP which sounds slightly less awkward. However, the main problem with this album is that there are 27 tracks on it, containing no less than three versions of Kakakatakataomoi. Also, a great deal of the songs are frankly, shit. He could have had a very good one disc album, but instead we get a mediocre two disc set. If he had a record exec or even an executive producer to tell him he needs to excise some of the shit, we'd have a better album. Either that, or he needs to learn to self-critique more effectively. So yea, for that reason, completely unrelated to idols really, he's the biggest tosser of 2012. Still awesome though.

Biggest WTF ARE YOU ON NOW DEVIN!? of 2012



Really speaks for itself doesn't it?

Best Non-Prog Metal Band of 2012



And no, I'm not even fucking kidding. Normal metal this year sucked ass. Babymetal even had some prog tendencies (Ii ne, for example, having 11 consecutive sections before repeating any), but Headbanger and now the early PV release for Ijime Dame Zettai just rocks fucking harder than anything since I can remember. Plus, add to that the fact that metal this year was just plain boring as fuck (I'd say the best non-progressive metal album this year was Mors Principium Est's ...And Death Said Live, and I fucking hate melodeath most of the time), makes the bringers of the Mosh Pit of Chaos probably the best exponent of the genre this year. Even though most trve kvlt grim necro metalheads hate them, at least their music transcends genre boundaries, takes risks and just does not give a single fuck. INFERNAL HAILS!

So, this year I'm being slightly lazy. Also slightly unfair to you, the reader, as I'm going to make you trawl through all my year review on all idol groups in just one post, whereas in previous years I've kept it all separated into nice little easy to consume and ignore posts. However, this year I've decided that my approach of yesteryear is no longer even possible. How could it be, with an ever expanding number of idols that demand my attention, all of which having PVs and songs and personalities and catchphrases and so on to keep up with? Indeed, my excess had to reach its end at some point. This year, for example, the 48 family post would have been especially ridiculous had I kept the previous format. AKB alone had 20 PVs from singles, then an extra 3 for old songs and I don't know how many for Team Surprise, but I think it was 12. SKE had 12 (IIRC), NMB had 16, HKT had 1. By this point we're already at 64 and that's without any subunits or soloists. I think everything needs to end and at this point, merely attempting to come to terms with the sheer number of PVs resulted in my mind breaking.

So, as a result, you will see a slimlined version of my previous posts. I will take each group, and give my opinion on which has been their best song, their worst song, and best and worst PVs. With some of the bigger groups I'll also probably say which is their best standout moment or something. This saves me time and effort, which is good. After that I'll do another post of my usual tirade of weird and wonderful awards. So, into the fiery pit we descend once more...

WARNING: Embedded video heavy.

And at long last it ends. The review reign of terror that has lasted since August has come to an end. And what better way to end it than with the group that I've always meant to review properly, but just never got around to doing.

So yes, Passpo. Those flight attendant people who randomly got number one on the single charts last year thanks mostly to releasing about 15 versions of one single. But hey, if it works. Music-wise they're right up my street. Good pop, good rock, and a mix of both with damn good hooks and not bad vocal wise. So, onwards to the review.


Preamble: Blue, white and silver. Very airline-like. I just hope their seats recline and that boarding times aren't as bad as all the airlines I've been on lately.