Top 50 Guitar Solos in Idol Songs

So, I said it was coming. Since my last post, basically when I haven't been working, sleeping, fapping or watching something idol related, I've been listening to solos. Lots of solos. In total I think I listened to a total of somewhere over a thousand songs and found 223 solos worth further investigation. Those I divided into three groups. Top Tier, of which there were just over 50, Middle Tier, of which there were about 20, and the rest. Then, with the 53 solos I deemed worthy, I began to rate them based on (once again) seven headings of equal worth.

• Technical Proficiency


• Listenability


• Solo Orgasm Faceability


• Flow


• Length


• Jizzability


• Awesomeness

Yes, these are completely arbitrary.

Some explanations of what each entails:

Technical Proficiency ranks various guitar playing techniques that can be hard to pull off. Some, of course, much harder than others. These include but are not limited to: Hammer ons/pull offs, vibrato, tremolo, harmonics, tapping, sweeping, harmonisation. For the record, two songs got the maximum 100 marks for technical.
Listenability ranks how nice the solo is on the ears. Some of the greatest solos of all time had just a great deal of vibrato but not much other technical wankery, and this is what that ranks. How "nice" the solo is.
Solo Face Orgasmability ranks how well a guitarist could guitar solo face orgasm to the solo. This is probably one of the three most arbitrary rankings. Basically if anything has a pattern of three semiquavers and then a crotchet, with whammy bar, that's soloface orgasm.
Flow ranks how well the solo fits into the song. Of course, fitting too well is a bad thing, for example, sweeping around in the pattern of a chord progression is pretty damn boring, but technically good. There are a few solos on this list like this.
Length is pretty obvious. The longer a solo is, the cooler it is.
Jizzability is how likely you are to jizz your pants because of the solo. Also known as Finger Explodability, based on how likely it is your fingers would explode playing it.
Awesomeness is just a ranking of how good it all sounds together.

Of Progressive Metal and Win

Lately I keep trying to write blogs and never quite manage to figure out why I can't particularly think of anything except reviews. I've got a Top 50 Idol Solos list on the go as a counterpart to my old top 50 Idol Metal songs, but I'm increasingly finding it to be quite frustrating. I also had a blog lined up of "things idols do after they stop" to which my answer was, increasingly, "go and do more idol things". I might still do these, but at a later date.

So instead, I'll recommend some Prog Metal. Some of you may disagree on what I class as Prog Metal, but oh well. This has mostly been brought on by a realisation that once again this year the top of my album ratings will be prog metal, after having finally heard Ruud Jolie's Prog side project For All We Know, and the fact that Opeth have a new album coming out. I'm leaving out anything by Arjen, otherwise it'd just be an Ayreon Festival.

Now, I know this is supposed to be mostly "Metalheads take on Japan" or something, but frankly I need to spew pure metal. Or, in some cases, not.