09/09/2011

Top 50 Guitar Solos in Idol Songs

So, I said it was coming. Since my last post, basically when I haven't been working, sleeping, fapping or watching something idol related, I've been listening to solos. Lots of solos. In total I think I listened to a total of somewhere over a thousand songs and found 223 solos worth further investigation. Those I divided into three groups. Top Tier, of which there were just over 50, Middle Tier, of which there were about 20, and the rest. Then, with the 53 solos I deemed worthy, I began to rate them based on (once again) seven headings of equal worth.

  • Technical Proficiency

  • Listenability

  • Solo Orgasm Faceability

  • Flow

  • Length

  • Jizzability

  • Awesomeness


Yes, these are completely arbitrary.

Some explanations of what each entails:

Technical Proficiency ranks various guitar playing techniques that can be hard to pull off. Some, of course, much harder than others. These include but are not limited to: Hammer ons/pull offs, vibrato, tremolo, harmonics, tapping, sweeping, harmonisation. For the record, two songs got the maximum 100 marks for technical.
Listenability ranks how nice the solo is on the ears. Some of the greatest solos of all time had just a great deal of vibrato but not much other technical wankery, and this is what that ranks. How "nice" the solo is.
Solo Face Orgasmability ranks how well a guitarist could guitar solo face orgasm to the solo. This is probably one of the three most arbitrary rankings. Basically if anything has a pattern of three semiquavers and then a crotchet, with whammy bar, that's soloface orgasm.
Flow ranks how well the solo fits into the song. Of course, fitting too well is a bad thing, for example, sweeping around in the pattern of a chord progression is pretty damn boring, but technically good. There are a few solos on this list like this.
Length is pretty obvious. The longer a solo is, the cooler it is.
Jizzability is how likely you are to jizz your pants because of the solo. Also known as Finger Explodability, based on how likely it is your fingers would explode playing it.
Awesomeness is just a ranking of how good it all sounds together.

There, 700 points up for grabs. This time around, I still have my spreadsheet, but I won't disclose the subheading marks, just the full marks. Now, to give you a general idea of what a 700 point song sounds like, I'll give you a list of my Top Ten Solos of ever. Because I can.

10. Tokyo Blade - Night of the Blade
9. Galneryus - Glorious Aggressor
8. Ayreon - The Dream Sequencer
7. Green Carnation - Light of Day, Day of Darkness
6. Led Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven
5. Ayreon - The Dawn of a Million Souls
4. Dire Straits - Sultans of Swing
3. Cream - Crossroads
2. Lynyrd Skynyrd - Free Bird
1. Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb

With Dire Straits and Cream, there are multiple solos, so keep listening. I'm aware there is no Jimi Hendrix in there. I just think his stuff doesn't sound as good as the stuff above.

Anyway, now you know what the idols are up against, let us begin at the end. All the links are youtube, and I've tried to have the video start at the beginning of the solo. For those I couldn't find on Youtube, I've stolen some of IntlWota's bandwidth and stuck them on the audioplayer.

50. AKB48 - Love Chase

Some good harmonics and technical ability in this solo, plus it barely detracts from the song at all (which has a Blind Guardian-esque main riff). When the guy starts going fast it gets a lot better, obviously.

410/700

49. AKB48 - Fanletter

A slower solo, one that showcases nicely the "listenability" rating. Main problem is it's just too damn short. Otherwise, it's a nice little solo.

420/700

48. Buono! - Muteki no ∞Power

What I like to call a bit of a screechy solo, also has some nice rhythmy bits in it. Also of a decent length proportional to the song, which is never a bad thing.

430/700

47. AKB48 - RESET

Quite a technical little number, but generally too short. If it'd gone on for another minute it may have assaulted nearer to the top.

432/700

46. AKB48 - Majijo Teppen Blues

Another screechy solo, screechy and then some tremolo picking, followed in the music by a cool little refrain. In the music vid the refrain features ghost!Takamina, which is cool.

440/700

45. C-ute - Shigatsu Sengen

Yes, it's not a very strong song and from a shit album, but damn the solo is nice. High on Listenability, but not so much on Technical or Jizzworthyness.

456/700

44. Morning Musume - Kanashimi Twilight

Again, quite a technical little solo, but way too short. On the other hand, imagine the solofaces.

461/700

43. 9nine - cotton candy
[audio:http://www.intlwota.com/metalhead/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/cotton-candy-solo.mp3|titles=cotton candy solo]

Soloface Orgasm time. You know he's jizzing all over the place. Shame it's so short, because if it were a bit longer I'd be jizzing everywhere too.

463/700

42. AKB48 - ALIVE
[audio:http://www.intlwota.com/metalhead/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/ALIVE-solo.mp3|titles=ALIVE solo]

More soloface and a couple of finger explosions (to accompany those occuring in the PV). Quite a bit of technicality going on, but again, shame it's so short.

465/700

40= AKB48 - 109

Quite a listenable solo, yet has undoubted technical ability. Plus it's damn long in comparison to the stuff that's come before.

470/700

40= AKB48 - AKB48

Again with the listenable, technical and soloface orgasms too. The scores are quickly becoming more even between the different headings.

470/700

39. Hangry&Angry - The*Peace

Dissonance, shred and general fuckery. Plus, soloing over one of the oddest things to heavy up ever is awesome...

476/700

38. SKE48 - Omoide Ijou

This guy's shredding and tapping and just having fun, which sounds awesome. The song ain't bad either.

477/700

37. Berryz Koubou - Otoko no Ko

How much string bend note changes can one fit into a solo? Ask this guy, because it's pretty damn impressive.

478/700

34= Folder 5 - Believe

Pure metal solo over Eurobeat? Sign me up. Granted, Eurobeat was pretty much pioneered by Alberto Contini, also known as A.C. Wild of thrash metallers Bulldozer, but still. Win.

480/700

34= Canary Club - Hitomi ga Kirakirara

Have I mentioned I love Mana lately? Anyway, back to the point, some sweeping and soloface orgasms keep me from minding that the damn solo is so short. Plus Mana's voice, of course.

480/700

34= Berryz Koubou - Munasawagi Scarlet

Really cool solo, really cool outfits, but also really short solo, and really too long outfits. But yea, I like this solo, but the length dragged it down.

480/700

32= Buono! - Lady Panther

Nice little speedy 50's-esque solo here, but again, too short. Also helped by Hammond organs in the background.

481/700

32= Yajima Maimi - Natsu Doki Lipstick

Dude, look at that dancing... Phwoar, eh. I'm told.
But there's this fucking amazing solo going on that I'm about to jizz too! I reply.

481/700

30= AKB48 - Suki to Ieba Yokatta

Guuuuuuuuuuh. Shredding, tapping, pinched harmonics, chords and wtf is this awesomeness?

482/700

30= Folder 5 - Break The Silence
[audio:http://www.intlwota.com/metalhead/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Break-The-Silence-solo.mp3|titles=Break The Silence solo]

Tapping like mad at the beginning there, these Eurobeat shredders liked solos. Some sweeps too.

482/700

29. Morning Musume - Otome no Shinrigaku

Another 50's style solo, with hints of some 60s and 70s riffing and possibly a bit of Hendrix drug induced haze (considering the vocals on this song).

484/700

27= Buono! - Janakya Mottainai

Soloface yes. Those pinched chords for the win. It's a nice fun solo for a nice fun and punky song. And has some little techy bits here and there.#

490/700

27= AKB48 - Lay Down

Not only does this sound like a stoner song, they all look stoned too. Ends up with a nice little Southern Fried Solo, with distortion so thick through the valve amp it was probably still less thick than the amount of weed haze in the composer's room when he wrote this.

490/700

25= Folder 5 - Heart Beat
[audio:http://www.intlwota.com/metalhead/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Heartbeat-Solo1.mp3|titles=Heartbeat Solo]

Again too short, but this is the best of the lot from Folder 5, sweeping, and sliding and tremolo picking all in the space of like 13 seconds.

493/700

25= Queen&Elizabeth - Love Wars

Metal, but too short. Some good melodies though and for the first time I get to mention flow, in that it basically follows the rhythm guitar.

493/700

24. Karen Girl's - Full Throttle
[audio:http://www.intlwota.com/metalhead/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/FULL-THROTTLE-solo.mp3|titles=FULL THROTTLE solo]

This song has three solos. That's a lot. The second and third are particularly interesting. I weighted the three solos together, hence why they're quite low.

498/700

23. Heike Michiyo - GET

Hatake doesn't hang about in this solo. Straight out of the blocks he's playing damn fast, then slow and pulling solo faces, and he even swings the guitar around his head in the PV. That's rock and roll.

499/700

22. AKB48 - Korogaru Ishi ni Nare

A proper metal solo. Harmonics, sweeps, tapping and screaming guitars make for a happy Krv.

500/700

20= SKE48 - Jealousy no Alibi

Some nice little baroque styling at the beginning, then into quite a cleanly done solo, with both speedy and slow bits done nicely.

503/700

20= High-King - Kioku no Meiro

Now, this is both baroque as fuck and flows too well. It's just sweeping over the chord progression, but damn if those sweeps aren't a bitch to play.

503/700

19. SKE48 - Seifuku no Me

Again, some nice slow and fast bits, when it gets to the fast bits it becomes even more win though.

505/700

18. AKB48 - Yume no Kane

A solo in an Egyptian mode from AKB? Get the fuck in. Not to mention the guitarist was blatantly creaming all over the place because of it.

510/700

17. SKE48 - Koi wo Kataru Shinjin ni Narenakute

Listenable, long, and the guy's basically wanking with his guitar strings by the end after working his way up to orgasm or something. Win.

511/700

15= Buono! - Our Songs

This guy sounds like me soloing, fast, pointless and all over the place. It's also fucking win, which is why it even got on this list despite failing on the technical tier. It got 100 in Jizzability and Awesomeness.

515/700

15= Akimoto Sayaka - Mushi no Ballad

This basically got this high because of soloface orgasm. Guy sounds like he was enjoying it. Shit, I enjoy it too. Technically not amazing, but mentally listenable.

515/700

14. 9nine - Nemureru Mori no Shoujo
[audio:http://www.intlwota.com/metalhead/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Nemureru-Mori-no-Shoujo-solo.mp3|titles=Nemureru Mori no Shoujo solo]

I'm not even sure what this is except amazing. That scale is screwed up to all shit to the extent that I can't even get my head around it, yet the guy's sweeping in it, and harmonising, and I don't know what. Major points for brain seizure.

516/700

13. SKE48 - Chime wa Love Song

Some cool sweeping to start this off, then soloface orgasm, then more sweeps, and just general coolness.

524/700

12. Tokyo Girls Style - Sayonara, Arigatou

Guy is having sex with his guitar, his guitar is having sex with his hand, and all kinds of stuff like that. The sweeps are cool, and the section immediately following the solo is win.

527/700

11. Morning Musume - Hand Made CITY

Sweeps, flowing over the chord progression. Lots. That's basically all this solo is, but to keep it up for that long without breaking your hand is certainly inspiring.

529/700

10. Buono! - Blue-sky-blue

The first solo in this song isn't amazing, but the ending solo is fucking hnnnnnnnnnnnnnngh. Classic rock moment at its finest. Plus the fadeout sucks, the guy could have gone on for hours and I'd have listened to it.

530/700

9. C-ute - RuRuRuRuRu

If this isn't the most sexy sounding guitar I've heard for a damn long time. Plus the soloface would be out of this fucking world. Guy must have came three times.

533/700

8. AKB48 - Pioneer

Tapping for the win. Too short, but in its brief explosion of furiousity it near blows the whole of Team A off the stage. Ftw.

540/700

7. Michishige Sayumi - It's You

First a hammond solo, then a load of guitar shredding where the mixing engineer has gone psychotic on the pan fader, then a nice little soloface orgasm. Plus Sayu, of course.

543/700

6. SUPER☆GiRLS - NIJIIRO Namida...

This solo is nice, long, and fucking win. Soloface orgasm again wins out, alongside listenability. The bit just after solo rules the shit out of everything. And then there's more lead guitar widdling into the final chorus. Idol prog, needs moar.

544/700

4= AKB48 - AKB Sanjou

Starts out whining like a girl in ecstasy, then goes proper metal, whining and cavorting like a hooker drunk on absinthe. Fakjea.

550/700

4= AKB48 - Suifu ha Arashi ni Yume wo Miru

If I could go back in time, this would be on my metal list, easily. But I can't, but the lost stages will soon be released, apparently, so I can enjoy this in higher quality. Guitar noises, then shred, then nice riffing pattern, then whining, then tapping, then sweeping, then scale descent. What more metal?

550/700

3. Suzuki Airi - Aa Koi

This guy no longer has any fingers. From an evil sounding riff, to the coolest sounding little solo lick, to the guy sweeping with open strings. Wow.

580/700

2. Morning Musume - Ambitious! Yashinteki de Ii Jan

5 years later and this solo still has the ability to rape my skull, shoot ime in the back of the head, then rape my skull again with barbed wire. Epic sweeps, epic scale ascent, epic win and just OSdhgalidfgv aidwvb. Yea. That was my skull being raped.

599/700

1. C-ute - Midnight Temptation

If Ambitious rapes you in the skull, shoots you and rapes you again, Midnight Temptation then resurrects you, torments you for all eternity, and makes you thoroughly enjoy every torturous second of it. Nice licks, some dissonance, some nice long ass notes, then, fucking shred. Over the top and thoroughly win.

606/700 (the true number of the beast, lulz)

Anyway, thus ends. Hope you enjoyed the result of my toils, research and writing. And fiddling in audacity to get the solos. And such.

Anyway, I shall leave you in peace.

Pozdrav,
Krv

10 comments:

  1. Holy shit man, that must've been a lot of work. Arbitrary as they might be, I love the seven ways you measured the solos' worth as well. Couldn't have come up with anything better myself.

    Brief notes on a couple of solos:
    - Not sure if I'd ever heard it before, but I love #14!
    - Now that you mention it, #11 is pretty inspiring, though lacking in Listenability for me. Wonder if the guy got it in one take.
    - Always loved how insane the solo for #7 is. Wasn't expecting that when I first heard the song.
    - I've never heard of a solo being described as "whining and cavorting like a hooker drunk on absinthe", but I'm happy that void in my life has now been filled.
    - I was thinking "Oh no Krv, don't forget that solo! DON'T YOU FORGET TO LIST THAT SOLO!", and I'm glad you didn't: it's found there at #3. That solo is f'ing insane and most definitely deserves a place that high up on the list. Agreed, that riff at the beginning is f'ing evil. I was already sold with that. If Nile was to write a J-pop riff, that's probably what it'd sound like. Has to be one of the most mean-spirited riffs I've ever heard in idol pop.
    - Finally, #1. Completely and absolutely agreed. Best guitar solo in idol pop EVER, based on all that I've heard anyway.

    Anyway, I commend you for the effort, good sir. Well done. *tips hat*

    ReplyDelete
  2. There is a VERY disturbing lack of Thin Lizzy, Jimi Hendrix and Gary Moore in your top 10.

    Also, your bias makes me sick =P You have overrated the Comfortably Numb solo for the last time. Top 10 solo? Sure. No 1? Never!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLrpBLDWyCI

    ReplyDelete
  3. I jizzed all over the damn place @ "High-King – Kioku no Meiro" =O
    One of the most epic aural orgasms I've ever had while listening to a solo (Not just the solo, but those synths that come after =O Epic)

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is fantastic, Krv. I can only imagine how much work you put into this project. I agree with a hell of a lot on your list and, where I don't, it's mostly because I didn't know the song. Great stuff. Thanks for sharing.

    Btw, your ranking system is fucking brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm curious - do you have a list of the 1000+ songs you started with or at least the 223 you decided were worth further consideration? I'm not planning to critique your choices or anything. I just thought it would be cool to see what all you covered in your investigation during this project.

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's really cool to see what was on your list. I imagine a lot of them were tough to bump in favor of others because there are a hell of a lot of great songs there. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Any comments on the Limited Addiction and Liar solos?
    http://youtu.be/X8VX6_mRABs?t=3m3s
    http://youtu.be/2THAD9-HN7c?t=2m35s

    ReplyDelete
  8. Limited Addition:
    Technical Proficiency: 35
    Listenability: 25
    Solo Orgasm Faceability: 40
    Flow: 60
    Length: 90
    Jizzability: 20
    Awesomeness: 30
    Total: 300

    Wouldn't crack Top 50.
    Overall, I don't think it's a bad solo. But it's not good either. It's nice and long, yes, but too much of that time is spent on one boring lick that has a really good flow but no emotion, expression or anything else. When it does break out a bit, it improves, gaining the 20 jizzability and 40 solo face, but loses the 40 it had in flow. Definitely not groundbreaking.

    Liar:
    Technical Proficiency: 65
    Listenability: 60
    Solo Orgasm Faceability: 30
    Flow: 30
    Length: 85
    Jizzability: 45
    Awesomeness: 50
    Total: 365

    Also wouldn't crack top 50. This is better than Limited Addition, and the use of Spanish guitars is nice. However, the segue into the electric guitar is nonexistent, the technical skill is mostly on the Spanish guitar side. Again gains lots of points for being long as fuck, but doesn't flow as well (which is admittedly a good thing), gets all of the solo face points from the first and last notes of the electric guitar solo, and just didn't grab me as much as any on the list.

    ReplyDelete