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I'd like to introduce you all to someone...

I don't do this very often. Or, indeed, at all.

Well, that's a lie, I did it once, in 2009. But still, it's like a very very good beer. Hard to come across.

"So, what the fuck is he rambling about now?" I hear you think. Or rather, not hear, but percept.

Well, I'm going to do an entire post about one idol. A little shrine, if you will.

I'm not doing it on Luscious Idolicious because I think, somehow, that the readership here will appreciate her slightly more than the viewers (hesitate to call most of my hits readers) on LI, considering their usual methods of finding the place is "[insert idol] naked", "[insert idol] barefoot", or "fappin away turn on loli oniichan voice" (I have no fucking idea).

So, anyway, allow me to introduce her.



Kinoshita

She is, if you didn't already know, called Kinoshita Momoka. She's in NMB48. Team M. First Gen. 15 years old.

That's the basics out of the way.

Those of you who are slightly prone to being cynical will ask "another Momo you like?" (referring of course to Tsugunaga Momoko and Ariyasu Momoka). For the very few of you who know my proclivities to halfies would ask, "another Kinoshita?" (referring to SKE's unloved half-Spaniard Yukiko). But who cares. There are reasons.

Now, like every idol ever with Momo in her name, she's a psychotic nutcase. That's a pretty nice way of saying "yes I will give you all my money so please don't rip my cock off."

But now we get to the good part.

She is quite possibly the closest thing in attitude I think *48 has yet found to Mikitty. She blatantly calls all her fans kimowota. And hentai. (Disgusting Wota and Perverts, for those of you who cannot comprehend moonspeaks). But then in the same post she'll call herself Kimowota Ranger, Hentai Red Captain. She calls every human a sukebe (lecher). She used to talk about chloroform in her introductions. She loves gore and anime, and gorn, and gorn anime, and most of the pictures she draws that she puts on her Google+ look like victims of domestic violence.

She's also a complete anime otaku, and cosplays lots. Like, Tanabe Miku level. Even surpasses Mayu.

She has a smell fetish (evidence here and here), she posts that she gets "excited" (read: wet) when she gets the phone numbers or email addresses of cute members, and yea. The mind boggles at what she can post and get away with.

Such as:

"STOP!!バレンタイン・デー (Stop!! Valentine's Day!)

NO!! バレンタイン・デー (NO!! Valentine's Day!)

リア充なんて爆発しる\(^p^)/" (People with real lives should just go and blow themselves up).

She also looks a bit like Lovetan so that's the cuteness factor already well over average.

So yes, the gore/punk/metal/sadist girl of NMB. Let's kneel down and pledge allegiance to her insanity. Or something.

While I'm on the subject of NMB though, may as well mention the recent plague of scandals.

Much as I disagree with the notion of the no boyfriends rule, the fact that it exists and is in their contracts means that it's pretty much impossible to get away from in idoldom... Unless you're in NMB, to which seemingly the most punishment you face is a suspension and then the fans will vote you back in. The recent hotel room scandal has just re-erupted, and it just makes me think why there are such different standards being applied across the board of idoldom.

AKB kicked out Mori, Yonezawa and Hirajima, and suspended Minarun (for something she did before she even joined). NMB suspended 3 girls, and two got dropped from senbatsu for one single.
Outside of AKB, Kanna got a "bunion", Miyabi hasn't had any new photobooks in years... Meh.

To be fair I like Momoclo's way. They don't seem to give a shit when men, sweaty half naked men, grab and do wrestling moves on them.

Dunno what I'm trying to say about NMB in the end. To me it seems like a choice. Keep your legs shut or your mouth shut (metaphorically). Don't expect to do neither and still be an idol (or at least, an idol with a modicum of respect from wota), because that just isn't how the industry works.

9 comments:

  1. Hahahaha. Oh wow. Alright, you've piqued my interest. I think I already like her. I'm catching up on AKBINGO (still going at early 2010 episodes) -- will watching that eventually get me a chance to see her in action? She does seem pretty fantastic. God, I never get tired of the fucked up girls.

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  2. Nope, she’s not one of the NMB frontgirls (and even they don’t appear much on AKBingo). Best bet is probably Naniwa Nadeshiko, NMB’s own weird as fuck show.

    Also, Docking48. Found this clip: http://youtu.be/CPH62v0wZ3I

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  3. Alright, thanks for the info. I'll have to give Naniwa Nadeshiko a try. I'll be happy if it's even half as fun as AKBINGO.

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  4. Momoka's in episodes 18 and 19 if you do. There are only 24 episodes in total though. I need to watch more Docking, haven't seen enough :P

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  5. Just watched the first episode, seems fun! I think I'll watch all the rest while we're at it. Anyway, aside from AKBINGO (+AKB 1/0ji 59fun) and Naniwa Nadeshiko, are there any other essential AKB-family related shows I need to see? Shukan AKB worth checking out? Anything with SKE?

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  6. Well, variety-wise, I'd say the most consistently awesome is AKBとXX!! (aired in Osaka, usually features AKB, SKE and NMB teams doing random shit in Osaka. Not many true frontgirls (except Churi, Sayanee and Milky), but good for laughs. Plus when the frontgirls do appear, it gets lulz. Shukan is at best patchy. Sometimes it's the best show by miles, sometimes it's shit. I usually can't remember what the good episodes are, though they do frequent intelligence tests along the lines of the Mechaike ones. Ariyoshi is mostly boring. Nemousu is good, but the specials are epic win. Check out the Australia and Korea specials. They're awesome. Naruhodo High School is boring as fuck. SKE48 Sekai Seifuku Joshi is also quite cool, where SKE tries to beat teams from around the world at random games in order to conquer them. They ain't doing too well :P

    Dramawise, check out Majisuka 1&2, Mousou Deka and Magical Radio. Acting is shoddy, but the lulz makes up for it, in Mousou Deka particularly.

    Still, the overall best show recently is Bimyo~. AKB's full episode full-budget version of Haromoni Theatre :P

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  7. Thank you. I'll have to pick apart your list and download the ones that seem cool. Thanks again!

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  8. Just remembered another, a now deceased SKE show called Itte Koi 48, that played some of the funniest pranks on the girls ever. Like trapping them in a room with a 6m Python. Or putting a ratsnake in a pedalo, the girl would pedal out to the middle of a lake and then the snake would appear and they'd shit themselves.

    Ah, those were some funtimes.

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  9. That sounds fantastic, especially the bit about girls shitting themselves. Will give that a try as well.
    PS. After a couple of episodes, Naniwa Nadeshiko is pretty good stuff!

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