EuroWota 2009 - Stockholm

After Buono's cancellation, some of us still had uncancellable tickets and things, so we decided to go to Stockholm and have three days of
hot passionate sex with Swedish chicks
fun with Wota from all over Europe (and an American guy and a Japanese guy). And fun did we have, greatly.

My journey started on Thursday. I was bloody tired and shagged out after a long day turning a photostudio into an exhibition gallery (about 10 people were supposed to help, but only 3 of us turned up, one of which buggered off after lunch, so we had to do 5 times as much work). My journey to the airport started at 11pm, hitching a lift with my younger brother and his amusing mate up to Stansted. On the way up I was subjected to music louder than human ears are meant to withstand, and thus was rather hard of hearing by the end of it. Luckily he didn't play his usual crap and decided instead to play a decent mix of stuff including Pink Floyd, Guns 'n' Roses (from before they got shit), and a load of that funny pop-punk stuff that was popular in the early 00's (like Blink182 and Sum41).


Upon arriving at the airport I got very bored. It was 2am and my flight didn't leave until around 6am. Thus I tried the computers. They sucked, one ate £2 and then stalled and failed to work. I think it's probably still logged into my Facebook, actually. I found another computer that worked halfway though, and spent a while whiling away my time on it.

An hour passed, I was thirsty. I tried a place called Caffé Alba, and got a milkshake, which I must say was the best milkshake I've ever had. It was strawberry as a tribute to Lightbulb.

After that I changed my pounds into lots of SEKs (as .Brian so wonderfully named kronor) and waited.

After waiting for a while, I spotted a large northerner wearing a Girugamesh tshirt and started randomly talking to him (I knew it was sswishbone, but I think upon seeing me he thought something along the lines of "who the hell is this prick?"). Eventually we went through security (after both getting beeped and searched [though funnily they didn't bother checking my shoes, in which I could easily have hidden a blade. Amateurs]) we went to a pub for breakfast, then went to the gate, and got on the plane. We got the front seats on the right, so some legroom. Next to us was a brilliant cockney guy (who was absolutely obsessed with Asian girls, which I found hilarious), and across from us was a roughly 700lbs American guy who needed an extra "extension" belt in order to strap in. Not that he needed it, his stomach was already firmly wedged against the seat in front.

After a strangely enjoyable plane ride, brightened by the news from the pilot that the weather in Stockholm was clear and sunny, only for it to start raining ten minutes before landing and not stop for the rest of the day, and the brilliant Thailand stories of the Cockney guy, we arrived. First off the plane, got through security ultra fast (yay) and then set off. We caught a bus straight to Stockholm, rather than a bus to Nykoping and then a train to Stockholm, because it was cheaper and quicker.

After getting to Stockholm, we met up with Shin who is possibly the worst tourguide in existence but still awesome :P We went around a bit, took the piss out of Shin's aversion to slight droplets of precipitation which she called rain. Also got the 3 day travelpass and laughed like hell when Shin managed to forget that moving walkways end and she tripped; and when she kept skipping down them in absolute joy at her C-ute merchandise (two fans she liked using as weapons, mostly). After Shin changed into her C-ute tshirt at a very crowded McDonalds, we went on an epic quest for food, eventually ending up at Pizza Hut.

At 3pm we went to meet up with some other fellows. David (the emo-looking but awesome as hell guy), Dran (the Scottish guy who likes getting lost), X5-2000, Jaargilon (American fond of yelling "YUUUUUUUUKA!!!"), Julili and Killua76 (who both disappeared straight after, not to be seen again until Sunday).


After that we were treated to Shin's "guided tour" which consisted of walking to the old town, and being shown a narrow staircase, interspersed with David's shopping habits. After this, Shin and David went back to Shin's place (apparently David owed her and her boyfriend a cooked meal, though I didn't ask what that involved :P ). In the meantime, the rest of us went to a pub for a quick drink, and then I went to get checked in at my hostel. It was a bit... informal. The "reception" was a backroom. I then got into my room and tried to sleep for an hour, only for my wonderful roommates (a couple who seemed to enjoy being furtive in their lovemaking) to keep trying to get it on. When they left, I got about 10 minutes kip and then went back out, to find them arguing with the manager and some drunkards about a lost bottle of water, which the drunks had apparently stolen. I ignored them, went to the supermarket and bought some shampoo and shower gel, threw them back in my room and went back to meet the crazy guys. We went and bought a shitload of booze from an offlicense (due to our combined tiredness we completely overestimated the price and thought 13 cans would cost us 2800 SEKs. Sweden's expensive, but not that expensive :P ). Being Sweden, most of it was cider.

Then, we set off to the ReinaStar. Shin being Shin, she tried running ahead for a bus, only to find it was the wrong one, and hurt her leg, forcing her to wait for another bus. The rest of us decided to walk ahead for the exercise, and comfortably beat her to Reinastar (though 3 of us got some extra exercise and walked straight past it, and kept going). After the excursion we all met up again at Reinastar and waited for Brian to arrive. Jaargilon fell asleep, David explained the wonderful usage of the word "Faen" (which in Sweden they write as "Fan", but I prefer the Norwegian spelling as it looks more like the sound), and Dran set out the virtues of Maasa.

Then we spotted a giant striding across towards us, and we knew Brian had arrived.

He came in with a slight bang and a lot of stoop to fit under the doorframe, and then started speaking in that brilliantly Dutch accent. The check-in clerk had buggered off and forgotten about them, so they had to call him, get him to come back, and then spend 30 minutes filling out forms (one reason I liked my hostel was that my check-in took 3 minutes). After that, we departed for a park near T-Centralen with our booze. Somewhen between 7pm and here we met up with Brilhantes and Firren, who'd used the wrong exit of Centralen and come out at the SL Centre, but I can't bloody remember exactly when, so I've not bothered writing them in :P

When we got to the park, Brian +2 departed for some food, and the rest of us set to work demolishing the alcohol. I chose a nice looking raspberry cider. It was 7%.

I talked to David and Shin about random stuff, and tried to improve my Swedish pronunciation a bit, then completely forget what I talked about except that it involved Låt Den Rätte Komma In at some point.

At two points were we interrupted, once by some guy looking for beer, and once by a guy looking for a lighter. The guy got a beer, but the other guy didn't get a lighter as the only smoker was Brian's mate, who was off getting food/chatting up Swedish chicks.

However, the cider had an effect on me. I don't drink often, and had never drank cider before, let alone 7%. My bladder was a bit full, and I was a bit drunk. I went in search of a toilet, but couldn't find one. Then I decided to go back to the hostel, and Shin, David and Pete (sswishbone) decided to come too. Shin was a bit drunk too, but luckily didn't do anymore escalator acrobatics. If she had I'd probably have pissed myself, which wouldn't have been fun.

Eventually I found a toilet at Centralen, then went back to Zinkensdamm and Acco Hostel, where I slept through another attempted lovemaking session. I was too tired even to perv.


I awoke early, to find my roommates sleeping peacefully in each other's arms and not shagging like rabbits. I had a shower, and then went back to bed. At 9:30 I realised I had to be at Centralen for 10am, so I got up and went. I found myself some Ubuntu Cola, which I mistakenly referred to as Open Source Cola, then met up with the others and headed for Gröna Lund on the bus. Brian didn't show up as he thought we were supposed to pick him up from Reinastar, though he turned up later.

I felt quite ill, probably due to a combination of not eating anything since 2pm the day before, the hangover and general tiredness. Nevertheless, I was persuaded to try one rollercoaster to see how I handled them.


It was Jetline, which apparently pulls 4.5G, which is even more than Insane. I felt even worse after getting off it, and didn't feel like going on anything else for a while. I tried eating a burger, but that made me feel much worse. For pretty much the rest of the day, me and Firren were saddled with looking after bags, occasionally along with Dran and Ken (X5-2000), plus Brian and his mates (even if Brian had wanted to go on anything, he was too tall for everything). The others went on Insane a few times, and then we had a go on the Radiobilarna (bumper cars). It was a bit fun.

Some time passed, we went on something called The Voice that was like a Waltzer. Didn't make me feel better though. Next was lunch, where I had nachos with salsa (yum), sour cream (not so yum) and liquid cheese (fucking disgusting).

After that, the sun came out, and so did the lolis, and I felt better. Apparently there was a Lolita convention in Stockholm that weekend too, so they came out in force. Some were hot. Some weren't. Dran managed to get an upskirt on one of them, the git :P

After another few times on Insane for the guys, and a load of turns on Freefall for Ken and Jaargilon, I finally found what I'd been looking for most of the weekend. Korv med mos. Basically Swedish Bangers and Mash. Jaargilon and Pete had it normally, Ken and I had ours wrapped in flatbread with salad. It was awesome.

After all the revelries had ended and I'd gone on a few more non-rollercoaster rides, we went to a pub called the London. I stuck with coke that night. Time passed. Went back to Centralen. Went on Computers because we were worried about Maoh.

Shin went to see off David. We went back to our respective hostels (though Brian and Jaargilon seemed to have a blast getting in with young girls and teaching the Swedish clubs how to wotagei).

I went back and slept, again only slightly disturbed by naughty rustlings.


I had a bit of a lie in, then headed out for the suburbs. Being a fan of Låt Den Rätte Komma In, I felt I needed to visit Blackeberg. It was grim. The difference between Alvik and Blackeberg was stunning. Alvik had all these cute wooden houses painted yellow and light blue, and then Blackeberg had these evil looking behemoths. The only things I've ever seen that look more grim are the housing towers in Rijeka, a hangover from the Communist days, and the entire city of Karlovac, which just looked sad.

After taking a load of photos, I headed back to Centralen for what was to be the final day of fun and faen. Maoh was there, what a legend. I think everyone has or will tell of maoh's awesomeness, so I'll leave it to them. Suffice to say he probably had every H!P DVD in existence.

So, off we went to Julili's projector room, where we watched, danced, sang along to and wotagei'd at Rock 'n' Buono, Wonderful Hearts Winter 2009, and Momusu's Sexy 8 Beat (which Jaargilon slept through).

Between DVDs 2 and 3 we went out to Max burger, where we were served by Varg Vikernes, who was only released two days before. Why he was in Stockholm and not Telemark I don't know :P However, prison had clearly rotted his brain, as he tried giving us trays when we were in the express line for takeaway. We got our burgers (mine was salami burger...) and a bag of sauces, and then went and sat in McDonalds to eat, because it was funny.

The sauces were kickass though. I want Max to open in the UK, their Original Sauce is win.

Anyway, after that we returned to Julili's, found them watching NEWS, then got them to turn it off and put Momusu on. More random stuff followed, and then we started randomly dancing to songs which can be found here and here. Maoh then announced that he was going to see a Buono event next weekend, and that we should write messages in a book for them, so we did. Then we took some group photos, and the British Wota (me, Dran and Pete) had a pic with Koharu's sexy pose, whereupon I attempted to be as lewd as possible but failed due to being too short to reach her crotch.

Firren Decries His Love

We then went to try and find a pub, but SHOCK! In Sweden pubs close too early on Sundays. In despair, we ended up in the same McDonalds where Shin put on her C-ute tshirt (which didn't seem to come off for 3 days) and had more food. We then got Maoh's email address, collected Dran and Ken (who'd decided to walk from Reinastar to the pub, only to find it closed), then went back to the hostels.

I found to my slight delight and disappointment that I was alone that night, the nocturnal playmates had absconded during the day for parts unknown. Either way, I had a peaceful few hours sleep.


Up at 5am, to find that the hot water didn't work that early in the morning. Thus I skipped showering and went to Centralen to meet up with Pete to get the flight back. To the bus station, waited, saw a guy dressed as Johnny Depp from Pirates of the Carribean a few times. Got the bus (just, there were bloody loads of people). Ended up sitting next to Johnny Depp, who snored most of the way.

Got through security easily, had a pint, went through passport control in about 10 seconds, got into the priority queue and waited. Started talking to this crazy old guy who loved Sweden and hated Finland about Essex and how it sucks. Got onto the plane, in the front left seats (yay legroom) and then had a dull flight back to England. Johnny Depp was on our flight too. British passport control was a nightmare for Pete though, considering his passport is very old. I got sort of lucky, I went though quick experiment Europassport thingy, and the camera didn't recognise me because my hair is different colours. Yay. Still got through ages before Pete though, who had to wait for a huge queue.

And that was it. A fun weekend, and one I'd happily do again. Multiple times. All the guys were brilliant, and the girls were awesome too.

Anyway, that's all.



  1. Great blog man, was so random when you just went 'Girugamesh' and me half-asleep going 'err what? que?' lol Was great to hook up with you all and go crazy though, gotta be done again!

  2. Man! That was a really good read. Next time I hope to be more "part" of it, though. XD And damn... that Koharu picture is wrong in so many ways that it's good. Hahahaha.

  3. you have some good memory there, i usually have trouble recalling everything that happens during the day.

  4. I used to be able to remember everything, but when I hit 17 it started going downhill :P