On AKB's senbatsu elections, sales figures, graduation of Maeda and all that jazz...

So, unless you've been living under a rock you'll know that AKB just released number two out of their now habitual five singles of the year. As with the past 4 years, this CD contains a voting ticket to determine the ranks and suchlike for their next single. Now, with the most popular member from last year not taking part, one wonders where her vote is going. It's obviously going somewhere, as this is probably going to be the last single she's a part of (she's graduating the day after the Tokyo Dome concerts which take place on the 24th, 25th and 26th of August, which means she'll still be a member as of the next single, but as she's not in the election she won't be in the single. Make sense?), it's got some ridiculous sales figures. 1.17million for the first day alone. Up to 1.3million by the second day.

Anyway, back to my point. The elections.

Once again, AKB fans are getting all the press for all the wrong reasons. Granted, it's not something I can really say I disagree with, I'll personally never understand the method of buying multiple copies unless they all have something different on them; buying for handshake tickets means nothing as I haven't been to Japan in four years; and the election honestly does nothing for me as I know the ones I support the most will maybe make the bottom end of the rankings if they're lucky, and my meagre salary and the slow speed of delivery between Japan and the UK renders any contribution I could make rather moot. Still, AKB have achieved quite a remarkable level of market saturation for a niche product.

When Passpo met the bassist from Jane's Addiction and a guitarist from the band of Shakira.

Or something.

So, Passpo's new single is called Next Flight, continuing the theme of flying and rock. What is slightly new is that they went to LA to film the PV, in order to achieve a feeling of "LA Metal" in the song.

They said that a famous LA Metal Musician would be in the video, which I guess is supposed to be Chris Chaney even though I wouldn't really class Jane's Addiction as metal. Josh Freese and Robin Fink were apparently also involved in the song in some way, but who knows.

The next few singles they're doing are going to be themed on locations and their music scenes, so personally I'm hoping for either some grim as fuck Norwegian Black Metal, some Brazilian Thrash, Italian Prog/Power or some Gothenburg DM. Still, the preview of the "LA Metal" song doesn't sound half bad.

So, without further ado, the short video...



Desert theme is quite cool, but for that would prefer it sound a bit more Kyuss-ish though.

Honestly, it's not metal, but it does sound like pretty anthemic rock. I think I like.

Japan's Insanely Talented Youth

So, for a while now I've been listening to a certain Japanese drummer girl on youtube. Her name is Kawaguchi Senri, she's 15, and she's probably one of the best drummers in Japan. She's apprenticed to a guy called Suganuma Kozo, who's probably one of the best drummers I've ever heard. But it reminded me of some of the outstanding talent I've seen over the years, most of it from Asia, quite a lot from Japan. So here's a bit of a breakdown for all of you interested in the next generation of musicians, all of you who have an inferiority complex about your own playing and can now be awestruck by the sight of little Japanese girls putting your 10+ years of experience to shame, and those who just want to see Japanese girls in general.

So, let's start with the first one I saw. Her name is Sara, she'd probably be 15 by now. Unfortunately she's stopped uploading videos to youtube, so I guess she discovered makeup and designer goods, but still, she had some talent when she started.

So, have some of her playing Rush to make you feel really inadequate about yourself.



So, a while goes by, then I find out about this really cool and weird type of keyboard that's only available in Japan, called the Electone. It's got 2 keyboards and footpedals, just to be really annoying, but it lets you play just about everything yourself.

So this girl does:


Yes, it's Kansas. But dude. She's also got a vid of her doing YYZ, which is awesome. Dunno why Japanese girls like 70s rock so much. Guess it's just because it's FUCKING AWESOME.

Yea, I said it.

THE Possible - ② Shiawase no Akashi review

I've decided from now on to only review one album at a time as then I get to write more posts with less content rather than the opposite. This will make me slightly more capable of writing more posts. Or so I hope. Maybe it'll just end up with me writing the same amount of posts but with a lot fewer words.

So, The Possible released a new album, a whole five years after the old one (and nearly 4 years since their last best-of slice of weirdness which I've never understood about the Japanese music industry. How in the hell can you have a best album after one album? You need at least 10 albums for that shit to work), which goes down as probably the longest wait between albums in idol music history (if it isn't, let me know.) To compare, it's about the same length of time between AC/DC and Metallica albums, but as AC/DC and Metallica are a bunch of old men with nothing new to offer, I don't understand why Tsunku hasn't got his ass into gear and given The Possible a new album (and more songs in general) much earlier. Especially considering he didn't even write half the songs on this album.

Just hope it isn't as bad as Lulu...

Shiritsu Ebisu Chuugaku

Welcome to the slightly madcap and insane world of Momoclo's little sister group...

Like Momoclo, they're all on the Stardust agency, an agency best known for throwing away talent like a 5* restaurant throws away perfectly good food. Also like Momoclo, they have the skills of Maeyamada Ken'ichi writing most of their songs for them. What follows is perhaps an experiment in minor insanity. While Momoclo seem to be naturally a bunch of spanners, probably caused by the nature of roadtripping to perform tiny concerts in a dingy little van, Ebichuu seem a bit more sane, probably due to the fact that they're all members of Stardust's 3B Junior and actually have a normal manager. As a result, their songs seem to be even more insane than Momoclo's, just to make up for it.

I don't really know much more about them that that, but this brings me to the reason I actually made this post. They're having a major label debut (DefStar, so I wonder if they'll do what they did to AKB...), and the Bside is this complete mess of a song which is fucking awesome:


私立恵比寿中学 『放課後ゲタ箱ロッケンロールMX』

Damn that's pretty metal.

The A-side, if you care, is here:


私立恵比寿中学 - 仮契約のシンデレラ [HD]

Not quite as insane, but still a bit weird, having a waltz in the middle.

Anyway, I shall be keeping an eye on these girls with great interest. Especially if they get nearly as awesome as Momoclo.

Speaking of Momoclo, I came across this heavy and grim as fuck remix of Mouretsu. Make of that what you will.

Idol Body Parts Top 10 Series: Part 3

At long last I have summoned up the effort and courage to present to you, dear readers, my ode to the idol posterior. The rump, buttocks, derrière, gluteus maximus, arse, and various other synonyms. Since I last gave you an ode to legs, my blog hits have spiralled out of control. Was it due to the legs post? Nope, that seems to be pretty steady at about 700 hits. The feet post on the other hand is currently at about 2300 and climbing rapidly. I don't know if this thoroughly disproves the theory that legs are the third most fetishised body part, or just proves that there are sufficient numbers of more reputable blogs which feature delicious idol legs that mine just doesn't get any hits. I guess I will find out when this post and the two posts on breasts go up. If they don't even reach the level of the feet post, I guess I'm just that unpopular.

So, anyway, a recap of what has been, and what is to come:

• Breasts (ie. actual ones)
• DFC (delicious flatchest. Tits that ain't)
• Ass
• Legs
• Feet
• Clavicle
• Lips
• Belly/Waist/Hips/Pelvis (that general area)
• Back
• Armpits

Also, a word to the wise that due to my obvious and inherent dislike of a certain highly regarded former idol whose buttocks were often on prominent display, I've decided I couldn't be bothered to go through the effort to actually photoshop her face out of all her ass shots (not to mention, downloading them in the first place), so for those of you who expected Takahashi Ai to be first, unlucky.

Also, the picspam this time will be chosen wisely. This is due to me not wanting to hit my upload limit on blogger, and also because one idol on this list has but a single yet delightful shot of their rear, which unfortunately means that others simply must suffer.

Anyway, I digress. TO THE BOOTY!

Three Reviews In One: Berryz, C-ute and Kikka albums

So, time for me to start reviewing again I guess. It's been a while since I reviewed anything, and my mind is wanting to get some wordcount out. So I chose to waste it on yet another thing that isn't idol bodyparts. Even though those posts seem to get me the most views. But oh well, such is life.
So yes, the albums I'm going to review are the new Berryz album, the new C-ute album, and the Kikka album that came out in January that Pete and Dean have been telling me to listen to for ages.

Guess I'll get started then.

I'd like to introduce you all to someone...

I don't do this very often. Or, indeed, at all.

Well, that's a lie, I did it once, in 2009. But still, it's like a very very good beer. Hard to come across.

"So, what the fuck is he rambling about now?" I hear you think. Or rather, not hear, but percept.

Well, I'm going to do an entire post about one idol. A little shrine, if you will.

I'm not doing it on Luscious Idolicious because I think, somehow, that the readership here will appreciate her slightly more than the viewers (hesitate to call most of my hits readers) on LI, considering their usual methods of finding the place is "[insert idol] naked", "[insert idol] barefoot", or "fappin away turn on loli oniichan voice" (I have no fucking idea).

So, anyway, allow me to introduce her.

Return of the Babymetal

On March 7th, 2012, BABYMETAL will unleash their most grim and unholy CD Debut, "Ii Ne!", along with those kvlt practitioners of necro blasphemies, "Kiba of Akiba", as an infernal split release with which to plague the earth.

So went the intro line I wrote for Dean over at Yonasu which he didn't use. But anyway, Babymetal are back, this time with a split-single (how metal is that?) with some silly Wota-ish Death Pop group.

I didn't bother writing about it until now, as there wasn't much to write about.

Now, the PV's out. I grabbed the TS file, fiddled with it a lot then uploaded it to Dailymotion, so here, enjoy:



So, first thing this reminds me of is Blood Stain Child. Techno Metal, with a hint of Gothenburg-ish Death Metal. Except that weird assed "take the piss out of rapper" bit. And the vocoding on some of the vocals. And trying to pass off the deathgrowls as Sumetal's work.

But still, as I said in my last post, it shows that Japan still hasn't lost its touch for genre-fuckery. Much as it's not the best metal ever, nor is it decent techno, it's idols and it's amazingly silly just because of that. For Momoclo, it's even more bizarre, as they're all psychotic. With Sakugaku, you don't have quite as much insanity, and Sumetal's fast approaching the end of middle-school, which is Sakugaku's "too old, gtfo" age. So Babymetal's time is limited, unless they rotate the members or something. But still, that they pull this off at their age is cool. Now just need a better songwriter for them. So, question time, which metal composer would write the best songs for them? My money's on Ihsahn or Heavy Devy.

I'm rambling now, seemingly.

Also, their kitsune is weak. Do some proper horns.

Honestly, I would have preferred that Ijime! Dame! Zettai! were released. From what I've heard of it, despite it sounding sort of X Japan-ish, it's a stronger song than either Ii Ne! or Doki-Doki Morning. Plus it has a wall of death when they play it live.

Fuck yea.

Buono! in Paris, 12th February 2012

So, at last I have an opportunity to sit down, compose my thoughts, and spam with wordcount.

Of course, it wouldn't be possible for me to do this without some incentive, and the incentive behind this particular post, were it not already rather obvious due to the title, is that Buono! came to France for a gig.

Unless you've been living under a rock I suppose that's probably not particularly surprising, so I'll say it once again just to be annoying.

Buono! came to France for a gig.

And such begins this tale of woe, regret, tragedy, heartbreak and FUCKING AWESOME TIMES.