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The Land of the Rising Sun, Heisei 26 Mark Two Chronicle the Third: Tokyo Really is the Best City in the World to be a Hikikomori

So, once more back to the grind...

Tuesday 4th November

After the hectic events of the previous four (or five) days I felt I deserved a lie in. Thus, suitably rested, I rose about 4pm. Now, as I alluded to in the last post, after the satsueikai with Saki the manager had cryptically stated that Saki didn't have any more lives planned for the duration of me being in Japan. As 2&, in any case.

This drew my mind back to a few months ago, where I saw a cryptic picture posted on DM-Produce's website, featuring some amputated hands and a girl who looked rather like Saki. The group was called Guso Drop, and would be debuting in late September or early October, I think. It was a while back, not entirely sure. Either way, I began to search, which was bloody hard as the kanji for Guso (偶想) don't actually fucking mean anything together in Japanese, but means "Random Thoughts" in Chinese. I've no fucking idea what they were on about. Either way, that evening Guso Drop were scheduled to perform their weekly free show at Shinjuku Red Nose.

Weekly free show is a bit of a misnomer, as they cancel the show in the event of any of the members being busy doing anything else, whether it's schoolwork, other idol jobs, etc etc etc. But this week it was on, so I decided to go.

The first, and major problem, was the fact that Shinjuku Red Nose may as well not fucking exist. I got to Shinjuku, knew from experience that if I headed up past the Seibu Shinjuku station I'd get to Marz, and if I followed that road along I'd pass Birth and come out on a junction which contained a hotel, a Lawson, a 7Eleven, and apparently, Red Nose.

I read every single sign on every building in the vicinity. No mention of a Red Nose, either in Katakana or Kanji.

I went to the Police Box. Usually they're well equipped to deal with giving directions to useless tourists, especially given the location on the North Side of Kabukicho (though I imagine most foreigners looking for directions in Kabukicho are either sex workers looking to escape or punters so drunk they can't remember where the station is). Unfortunately the cops didn't have a clue, even when I showed them the map Google had helpfully provided me.

I nearly gave up. I went back to where it was supposed to be, and spotted a Pasela across the street.

Free WiFi gets.

Neatly loitering outside the door, not looking suspicious at all, I found Red Nose's website and saw that it was supposed to be on the basement 2F level of the building I was standing across from. Now, the only sign for anything in the basement was for a live house called Ruido K4, so I decided to head to that and go from there. I headed down one staircase. It was the day of a massive 6 hour Visual Kei event in there, so I asked some of the reclining band members where the fuck Red Nose was. Apparently it was up the stairs, across to the non-staff staircase, and then back down to the same floor. There were a bunch of security boards between Ruido and Red Nose.

Either way, I thanked the Visual Kei blokes and headed up the stairs, across, and back down. I found a ticket thing (and finally a sign for Red Nose), and asked if it was. It wasn't. I had to go into a room with a curtain across the door, then pay for the drink ticket (free lives are never free, you still have to pay for the drink tickets. Gits) and go through another curtain, where I was met by the D-M manager from Nagoya. Thank fuck, I finally thought. He handed me a little black slip of card and a flyer and I sat down on the only free seat.

Red Nose is honestly the smallest venue I've ever seen. There's a step in the middle of what is a 4.3m wide floor space. The stage is about maybe 2.5mx4.3m. It's ridiculous. The seats were set up on the "lower" tier, so there were about 20 people there. I felt completely confused. Luckily, some of the 2& Family recognised me so I wasn't just a completely random gaijin in their eyes.

The lights went down and I was really not quite sure what I was in for. Usually I go into new idols with at least some idea of what the hell they're about, but my prep time for Guso Drop had been about 2 hours so I'd basically heard two songs. I didn't know why we had seats, why everyone was suddenly rustling through their bags and pulling out sweets, or why there was a cardboard box on stage.

Suddenly the lights went down and five girls dressed in nekomimi onesies were onstage, in the cardboard box. It was to be a play? I think. The manager got one of the audience to read the narration from a script. Luckily I wasn't asked. The person next to me was and I could barely read half the kanji. Stupidly high level.

The girls were playing cats that had been abandoned, but at first didn't believe it, then found a letter from their previous owner saying the reasons why they had been. Saki was too loud, Yura ate too much, and some other shit. They then decided to change it, so Yura "could eat any kind of food with contentment" and Saki "could shout". Then Rei started writing about three million things so they started a fight.

Then they all started moaning that they were hungry, and jumped off the stage into the crowd, demanding we all empty our bags to give them food. Saki made a beeline directly for me. I didn't have any. Saki gave up. They had some success, and even nicked someone's cellphone. They went back to the stage and some more shit happened and then they buggered off, with all the stuff they nicked. The manager piped over the PA that they'd get it back later.

The chairs were packed up and put away, and the live began. The first song was called Level, and featured Saki screaming. And Rei screaming. And rapping. And a mixture of djent and dubstep that I'm sure innovators of both genres would find heretical, but I didn't mind overly.



The MC started, and it was some random bullshit. The next song, Slow Rain@Tokyo started, and they got out umbrellas.

Glow Umbrellas.



Fucking cool. The floor was so small you were basically right next to them, so I was trying not to headbang too hard lest I end up headbutting them. Another guy with long hair seemed to have the same issue. Kept looking like he was going to go full Corpsegrinder and then stopped at the last moment.

Straight after Slow Rain they went into "Betsuni Jouzu Janakutemo Iijan, Takaga Ongaku Nandakara. Nee? Toge Onna △" which has to be the weirdest song title I've ever seen. Actually it reads more like an excuse than a songtitle. Also, it wasn't bad at all, leaving the title seeming a bit surreal.



Three songs over, and another MC. This time the topic was how much Saki looked like 2&. "The fuck?" I thought. Saki was like, "she's really a senpai I admire!" My brain was full of fuck. They even pretend they ain't the same person. It's still continuing even now on Twitter, with them "talking to each other". Some multiple personality disorder shit there, I'm sure.

The manager interrupted over the PA telling them to hurry up with the MC. Then he said the next song would be Level 6, which is still rough as fuck around the edges. It was its first perfomance. Saki and Rei didn't know the dance. Saki, Rei and Yura didn't know the lyrics. Even so, with the three of them looking a bit like stunned deer in headlights they pulled it off somewhat.



Still, that was all the songs I knew about. So they started another MC. Then were cut off because the manager was bored and obviously wanted to hear them sing Level again. So they did. It carried on in this fashion with MCs being interrupted by random songs until the end of the show. Honestly, it was quite a new experience. I did eventually start headbanging. No moshing though. If we'd moshed in that place the walls would probably have collapsed.

Thus we headed into buppan, and my brain became even more full of fuck. The Hells Angel manager returned, and demanded that they change back into their nekomimi onesies for the buppan.

The piece of card the other manager had given me when I walked in was a "communication ticket" for Rei. I asked another wota (Guso Drop call their fans "kamisama", or "gods") for help because I was confused as fuck. Basically you went up to the left hand side of the stage, which was the actual buppan (sale of goods). There you would buy a cheki, or Tshirt, or whatever, from the Hells Angel Manager, who for this occasion had sprouted a pencil moustache, ostensibly to disguise himself. When you bought something you would get a communication ticket for someone. If you got a cheki then you'd obviously get a ticket for that member.

So I bought a ticket for Saki. Then I had to go to the right hand side of the stage, where the manager I met in Nagoya would take the cheki for you. But very little talking. I took a cheki with Saki and she thanked me for coming and managing to find the damn place. Then I went back and got confused again. Apparently the communication tickets are for one minute. When all the chekis and shit had finished all the girls sat on the edge of the stage and we went up to them, and the managers actually timed the exact minute. I mean, I've seen timers at indie idol events (Lolisyn use them, then promptly ignore them; Next Shoujo Jiken sometimes use them) but never so strictly. In the minute you can just talk, they can sign something, write shit on a cheki, or whatever. You can bring outside stuff for them to sign. It's all a bit clusterfuck.


A photo posted by Pukovnik Krv (@pukovnik_krv) on



Didn't need to ask my name, same writing style, same everything. Definitely one person. But maybe the two personalities thing is so that 2& fans could ostensibly oshi someone else in Guso Drop and have it not be an oshihen from Saki. Makes sense if you read Level's lyrics, anyway...




After this I started reading the flyer I was given. More fucking hard kanji, but it was basically 1000 yen for a membership card that gave you some pretty nifty benefits. I went up to Hells Angel Manager and got one, and was promptly handed a communication ticket for every member. Then I got to do a handshake with every member. Anna was cute, she'd spent the entire stage play bit and buppan barefoot, because apparently it looked more catlike than wearing shoes. Yura started doing derp faces at me. Saki was pretty chill, as usual. She'd tied a bloody three-eyed rabbit to her chest. Pointed at it and asked me if I thought it was cute. I said the third eye made all the difference. Rei tried talking English (I could have guessed. It's always the blonde ones), and said she liked Slipknot. I said I didn't and moved on. Shion asked how I'd found out about them. I said I was Saki's fan and she saw the Tshirt I was wearing (2&'s First Anniversary as a Solo Act Tshirt) and she was like, "oh, a 2& fan..." Hinting, yet again. So weird.


A photo posted by Pukovnik Krv (@pukovnik_krv) on



Thereafter there was a memorial photo taken with all members to celebrate people joining the Gushin (members club or whatever). They took a 2L that you could pick up the next week (I asked if I could pick mine up in February...) and then took one for Twitter (lol, hate it when my frames obsure my eyes).

Either way, it's a lot for just 1000 yen and joining up. And that was it. The live was over, they disappeared (after Anna did the same as Saki the previous Friday and showed everyone just how dirty the stage had been), and we fucked off. The stairs on the way up had become overcrowded with Visual Kei fangirls making crude observations about idol wota. Then I walked past and they grew very confused. Always fun.

Night over, I sat on twitter half the night trying to do some propaganda. Don't think it worked. No one paid any attention.

Wednesday 5th November

The next day I had nothing to do, so in accordance with my usual technique in Japan when I have nothing to do, I decided I'd go to PARMS. My levels of exhaustion had caught up with me and I spent the majority of the day abed, so I shall jump straight to the good bit. I arranged to meet Dean before the show, as usual, and then planned some further exploits. orob and Jul would be joining us too, and some fair amount of drinking was to be involved.

I ended up on the exact same train as Dean, though when I asked what carriage he was in I lost Wifi and he couldn't reply beforehand. Thus when I got off the train at Akiba he tapped me on the shoulder before I got on the escalator. Nearly gave me a heart attack, the git.

He had his skateboard with him, because (in his words) Ayaka has a tsunami in her pants whenever he takes it to PARMS. So we arrived and waited for Jul. We were going to hit Beckers but it was full, as was Pepper Lunch, and so we got drinks instead.

Eventually orob turned up, and we walked around for a while pushing Dean around on his skateboard because he's a lazy git. At PARMS we met up with Jack again, and then we sort of ended up all over the place. Jul and Dean had gone ahead, I went to the toilet after buying the tickets and went and stood in the line on the stairs, and orob and Jack were elsewhere. We all eventually got into the area though.

Dean and Jul went straight in for handshakes, and dragged me with them. I got one and thought it was an all-groups handshake. Turns out it's just one group. I started at the front, which happened to be Oz.

First in line was Hoshi Aina. I told her I'd been at her birthday live half a year ago (半年前). She heard three years ago (三年前) and got very confused. I used a different pronunciation and she got it. She's quite cute. Next up was someone I didn't know and didn't pay any attention. Next was Koume. She was possibly the worst Halloween costumer, and when she greeted me in English with "HELLO! I'M MEGAPOSIHAPPY!" I just replied, "あ、そうっすか?" ("Oh, is that so?" in a really uninterested and lazy way). Cue everyone else in Oz to burst out laughing. The next person in line said I was funny, which was in itself quite funny. The new Dorothy, Maipuu (...not even going there) looked like she needed advice on acne medication, which I'd have been happy to provide (roaccutane ftw) had some Oz fans not started shaking hands and so they figured they'd better start moving me along. Either way, to me Maipuu is now just "Minefield".

There was another member I can't remember and then Sakamoto Mana at the end. Glorious Sakamoto, the one who helpfully provided me and Dean with useless directions in March. She might have remembered me, but she was still laughing uncontrollably.

As I said in the last post, I got a bit salty towards the idols. But it resulted in amusement so I'm not fussed.

After this I tried to hit Pa-Ken's line but the girl told me that it was one line only. I headed over to Dean and Jul and told them what had occured, whereupon they burst out laughing too. Oz is apparently the worst group to go to. Oh well, no one in Armour interested me overmuch (Jun mostly, Moa very occasionally); Steam was still missing Tomoe and Satsuki, and Ayaka was probably having a tsunami in her pants; and I only ever notice Nanaka in Juuban anyway.

Randomness over, we got ready for the Kamen Joshi live. Oh Wednesdays. First we had Pa-Ken and Oz, which was slightly interesting. Once again I just basically followed Dean as I couldn't be fucked. Pa-Ken's songs are quite cool (on the steps on the way up you could hear them soundchecking CoCoRoid,which unfortunately is basically only ever played properly by Armour Girls in the folkpunk arrangement nowadays), but none of the girls are quite as good as those in the original lineup.

Oz carried on where they usually do, with me just doing Aina calls. Kept getting pushed with Dean towards the front (weren't many Aina fans there that day). Oh well, we endured it. Nothing much else to do but try to enjoy it. Oz's songs are mostly midde-of-the-road generic pop. Not much to get it up for.

Next up we had Kamen Joshi. It was a right clusterfuck trying to get to the right places for all the units, who today had 2 songs each, with Kamen Joshi songs intertwining it all.

Because I can (and to make this post look bigger after the previous two epics) I'll link some of the crazy shit they play.



Marine Road, quite possibly the most ridiculous idol PV ever recorded. You may be saying, "most idol groups do beach PVs!" and you would be right. But most of them don't record it during a typhoon. Also, that genre fuckery.

Obviously, I can't look away from Nanaka when Nanaka's on stage, which is quite disturbing. Most people probably think of Momoclo's Reni when they think of ridiculously overexaggerated dancing (electric shock girl). Nanaka is a level above that. It seriously looks like she's being punched at times. Or a puppet, dancing on the strings of a master ventriloquist. Never seen anything more disturbing.

Obviously if Tomoe were there I might be able to look away. Lacking that, I'm just buggered really.

Anyway, we ended up getting some more delightful Juuban, a bit of Steam and some Armour in amidst the Kamen Joshi and it wasn't too bad.

Thus we headed into buppan.

A photo posted by Pukovnik Krv (@pukovnik_krv) on



I bought three tickets and headed up to do my usual with Nanaka. I told her it might be my last PARMS this trip so she was slightly gutted to lose her gaijin fan, I think. She pulled a weird face so I went salty again, for the cheki. Then I went around and did Yuko. She was fun. I still didn't ask to see what lay under her wrist-sheathe. The photo blurred like shit and whilst Yuko looked cute I got butchered, hence the coin.

Usually when you get a blurry as fuck one you can retake it, but this time only two chekis had been had and they were trying to stop the buppan. Well, I thought, fuck that. There was no time to argue about the blur with staff and use my last ticket. I gave my remaining cheki ticket to Dean in the vein hope he'd go to Ayaka, but he went to Moa. Treacherous bastard. I didn't even get to argue about the blur because we got kicked out.

The actual fuck? It was barely even 10pm.

Kick out attained we sat on the railing outside Pasela and bitched a bit. Jack buggered off. Then we watched possibly the weirdest/creepiest fan/idol interaction in Alice Project: dates. They get to go into the Honey Toast shop with the girl and buy them shit. It costs about 15000 yen. It lasts about ten minutes. It happens before and after the shows. It's weird. Ayaka was doing one so we commented on that. Two Japanese fans were near us so Dean struck up a conversation with them, which I joined in. It quickly turned pretty dirty, with the Japanese guys nearly dying of laughter after I translated Dean's innocuous aside: "I couldn't even get it up in ten minutes..."

We waited for a bunch of members to come out, which they did. We basically ignored them. We had plans.

It was still early as hell, so we headed to Saizeriya. Well, three of us walked, Dean was pushed. I never did get the chance to ask Ayaka if she'd achieved a tsunami in her pants...

In Saizeriya we got some food, because I was actually starving. We also got drink bars, much to Jul's annoyance. Random conversations and quick but fake Italian food quickly reduced to nothing, we decided to head to Don Quixote in search of the antidote to life: beer.

As usual I bought some stupidly strong ones. We headed back to the train station but on the way back we spotted two small figures. It was Ayaka and Sakamoto. We weren't stalking them. We walked past them, and went the long way around to the station, whereupon we saw what lines they went on. How bizarre, the lack of countermeasures against potential stalkers. We didn't give a fuck, then jumped on a train and headed to Nippori, where we dropped everything off at my place and headed out to the cemetary again. We would be drinking with the ashes of about a million dead people.

Plus Dean had a fancy to see Miyabi again...

After sitting and talking for a few hours and being slightly drunk, we headed back to mine for more drinks, which we obtained from the 7Eleven (I swear the convenience store clerks in and around Nippori must have thought I was an alcoholic). We sat in my apartment for a good few hours, watching idol videos and shit on orob's laptop. Then at 3am he gave up and went to bed. Dean and Jul carried on talking, I too was becoming quite knackered. By 4am I was half asleep. By 4:30 they'd gone to catch the first train, but ended up staying in a McDonalds for a further hour and some. Ruined, I slept.

Thursday 6th November

There were no idol events of any kind that I had any interest in at all until Lolisyn on Saturday, which I was still awaiting the times of. Reaching the end of my tether, I stayed in bed until about 4pm, whereupon orob finally (on the 4th time of asking) consented to go to the greatest Indian restaurant in the world, which just happens to be located in Nippori.

We dragged Turbos and Sferris along with us so they could read the menu, but they decided in their (lack of) wisdom they would prefer to eat something cheap and disturbing before they headed out to a Lovendor event. I was actually tempted to go with them, but the lure of curry was slightly greater than the lure of being snarky with Marin, so in we headed.

Darjeeling, as I think I said in March, is amazing. The restaurant is sort of littered with Hindu ornaments, the lighting is lower than anything, the ambience is sublime, and there's almost always a 360p Ravi Shankar DVD playing on the 50" HDTV looking grainy as all shit.

The food is also sublime, I don't call it the best Indian restaurant in the world for nothing. The owner/waiter speaks about eleven languages so we were waited on in perfect English, meanwhile he was waiting on a Japanese lady in perfect Japanese, and was talking to his chef in Hindi and the delivery guy in Tamil. The naan bread are about 18 inches long, and mine was covered in cheese and garlic and spices and who knows what else. The curry had actual chicken, which is nonexistent in Japan, seemingly. The food basically gave me the culinary version of an orgasm.

orob seemed to experience the same.

Thanks given we headed out into the now mercifully dry Nippori to do some shopping. orob was after some kind of chocolate covered coffee beans called CoffeeBeat or something, which involved going into every supermarket, convenience store and just about anything else to find some. We stumbled across some interesting finds, like an aisle dedicated to Waitrose products (wait what?) and a supply of Hitachino Nest beer, which unfortuantely didn't include their legendary Weizen or Witbier. Eventually, about 3/4 of the way to Nishinippori, we found a supermarket where there were about 18 cartons of it. We also found a 2.7l bottle of whisky for about 1800 yen, but I figured I didn't want to have alcohol poisoning.

Back we went to Bamboo, where once again I slept.

Friday 7th November

Tokyo really is the best place in the world to be a hikikomori. I stayed in bed all day, getting up about 10pm to head to 7Eleven to buy some food. Then I went back to bed.

Saturday 8th November

I was faced with a choice of all choices. Lolisyn had still not announced the times of their sets, and I was somewhat nauseous anyway (eating twice in the previous 60 hours or so probably not the best idea ever), so I didn't want to trek all the way to Kofu in the middle of the fucking mountains by 3pm to see Lolisyn play a 20 minute set at 8pm. Eventually my choice became a lot simpler: I listened to one of the other groups playing. None of them were idol groups. The headliners were this lot:



I had no idea what to make of it, some kind of electronica/ska/screamo/pop but if all the other groups were the same I figured I couldn't be fucked. So I went to Jun's seitansai at PARMS.

It was going to be an epic gathering. Miles, Dean, Jul and Jack would be there anyway. We met up outside Akiba station where some singer songwriter was failing to attract a crowd. We headed into a pub halfway up a building outside the station, where Dean and Miles promptly ordered everything on the menu.

Himari started moaning on twitter that she didn't want to go to PARMS on her own, so Miles invited her to join us. Now six in number, we started drinking, eating random shit (at one point there was so much on the table I've no idea whose any of it was), and talking shit. We teased Dean about his kanji failings (he wanted to know what some kanji said on twitter. If he'd turned around a bit he would have seen the sign outside the station spelling the dread name Akihabara). We teased Himari a bit because she showed us pictures of her from three years previous. Almost looked like a different person. I asked if she'd had surgery. She hadn't.

Miles ordered a pot of sake. The bastard. It came over and we each had a little stone cup full. Jack nearly fainted because it was hot. I just gagged. Luckily no one had to apologise for anyone else. We headed to PARMS, once again with Miles in full control of the Himaribike. He couldn't get her to wheelie.

We arrived at Pasela and what else could we do but hit the third floor bar? We had shots of Jaeger. In test tubes. Himari, unused to German herb spirits, turned about seventy different colours of varying intensity. To run up the stairs to PARMS would probably have killed her, so Jack and I dragged her up a few flights. Much amusement ensued. Once inside PARMS Dean and Miles headed off for handshakes. Jul and Jack disappeared. Himari didn't like handshakes, so we just stood poking each other. Not even joking. She was moaning that she was hot. I told her to take off her cardigan. She refused because the shirt she was wearing was "too ugly" and she was "too fat". I told her to fuck off. She was like, "look, it's all punipuni" and grabbed my finger and poked it into her stomach. Barely 1mm of give. She is a fool. In revenge I did the same. She didn't argue after that.

The show began. Once again Oz and Pa-Ken did their shit. I did the same as I had on Wednesday, following whichever Pa-Ken! girl Dean was going for and Aina in Oz. It was pretty normal. Juuban were next, so I got out both my glowsticks and went a bit crazy as it was going to be my last for a while. I think I was about 4 or 5 back in the Nanaka oshi "line", squeezed on both sides by the hordes of Anna wota, who seemingly can't tell the difference between red and white. The MCs were quite amusing. Nanaka had designed Jun's birthday shirt, but none of us in the Nanaka line were wearing it. She pouted and was cute.

Steam Girls still had no Tomoe, so I went Ayaka again. This time it was even worse. It was Dean, me, and two other guys for her. Kamiya has some srs level of fans, as do the others, even the two who don't turn up. I guess they don't do what I do and "betray" Tomoe when she ain't there.

Then it was time for Jun's seitansai. Armour came out and I was trying to get into the Jun oshi crowd. By the time I found space I was more than halfway back. Lots of girls are Jun-oshi, it's quite weird. I had one sat next to me during all the MCs, and I felt weird when we did all the "grab on to each other and swing back and forth" because she looked like she was damn young. Not the youngest there though, some tiny kid was on her dad's shoulders the entire time. Amusing level of live over, it was birthday time. Jun got caked in the face, as is usual. The birthday letter was so boring I can't remember it. Everyone went and changed into Jun's birthday tshirt. The usual shit happened.

Buppan started and I could not be fucked to get a cheki. Jun was wearing a pink dress, so Jul had to have a few with her. One was blurred so we convinced the 893 guy to give him another. Dean still wouldn't get a cheki with Ayaka. He got one with Moa. After all the chekis and such are completed, at birthday lives they hold up a massive sign and the crowd go behind them and get pictures taken and shit. Moa was on our side of the hall, holding the sign. She winked at Dean to go up. He demurred. She beckoned. He wavered. She ordered. He went.

Some mind control shit right there.

Following this came kick out, so we went to Honey Toast. Never a more disgusting concept. They get a loaf of bread, slice the top off, pull all the innards out, slice it, toast it, then put it back in with fruit and icecream and custard and shit like that. We ordered two. I got a milk cocktail because Henkka, the bastard, had got me hooked on them and the place served them. I tried eating some of the honey toast. It was like the most tooth-decaying bile-raising sweet-as-fuck piece of evil I'd ever eaten.

I gave up. The others carried on and seemed to enjoy it. No idea why.

We all chipped in and gave Himari drama recommendations to improve her English, because she was pissed off by all the English teachers she'd had so wanted to try the immersion method. Then we headed back to the station.

By this stage my malaise from earlier had entirely dissipated, and with my flight in the morning I couldn't be fucked to sleep. No one wanted to do anything fun that evening. Dean and Miles had work the next day. Jack and Jul had events. Himari had disappeared.

Betrayed, I headed back to Nippori and tidied the apartment and packed.

Sunday 9th November

At 7:30am I had a knock on my door.

I had expected the kickout time to be early (I'd asked for them to come before 10, as they usually say their check-in and -out times are 10am-4pm) but 7:30 was pushing it. Either way, I got my deposit back, gave back the key, and was told I could sleep until 8am but then I had to be out.

Pushy or what.

A photo posted by Pukovnik Krv (@pukovnik_krv) on




Not fucked, I headed straight for the airport and sat and got bored there for an hour or two. The ceiling was trippy as fuck.

A photo posted by Pukovnik Krv (@pukovnik_krv) on



I got bored of tripping balls and headed through security. My gate was right past emigration, so I decided to walk the whole of the airport again. Then I gave up and sat down. The flight was boring, the inflight entertainment system didn't work (I was given 4000 miles as an apology, which they've still not credited me with), and I suffered the entire flight with some one sleeping next to me, so I couldn't get up and move around.

Small wonder the doctors thought I had DVT.

Either way, I got back to shitty UK, certain in my belief that I couldn't go back to major idols. The underground just so much more fun. I spent far too much money, experienced life as a hikikomori in Tokyo for the first time in six years, and found a bunch of new idols to throw money at (and be trodden on by). I attained a crowning moment of awesome in photography, made new friends, pissed old friends off, pissed the new friends off, and still managed to get away with it.

Fakjea.

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