Whilst I did go into a lot of detail in my part three of Japan post, I think I need to make a post that profiles the members slightly more than just Saki. Otherwise it's mildly unfair.
In any case, Guso Drop are the new(ish) idol group formed by the same people behind 2&. Their theme, as far as I've managed to ascertain, is uncertain. The website describes them as "Soft Prick-Style Idols". I have absolutely no fucking idea what that means. The music is mostly of a rock nature, playing with djent, dubstep, punk, post-metal and a bit of thrash just to, you know, break the minds of anyone listening. I've seen them compared to PassCode, which is probably about the only thing anywhere close.
Live
Their live performances are crazy. I've linked some videos before but I'll link them again because I can.
They released a PV not too long ago for their latest song, Middle of Nowhere PUNK Pseudo-Girl.
It is, after all, very punk. Actually among the most punk idol songs I've ever heard. Also showcases quite a bit of characters, quite a bit of what their lives are like and some of buppan.
Also going to link Level 6 because I really like the death-vocal tradeoff between Saki and Rei at 2:19.
Birthday: 19th July Blog: Here Middle Finger Colour: Black
Rei is the short-haired Moga-like (Moga from Denpagumi, if you're confused) member. She actually does look surprisingly akin to Moga as well. One of Guso Drop's two death vocalists. She is a fan of Slipknot, and survives on Monster energy drink (though she also likes Rockstar). Because her image colour is black, and black glowsticks are rather difficult, she has jokingly suggested to use McKee marker pens.
Birthday: 14th August Blog: Here. Middle Finger Colour: Purple
Shion is the cool beauty one. She is quite cold, quite good at staring unnervingly and quite disturbingly powerful on stage. Hardly ever smiles, outside of live performances. In that respect she actually reminds me quite a lot of Turbonegro's Pål Pot Pamparius. When there's no music, stern facial expression. When music starts, happiness. She's the headbanging ace. Quite a resemblance to Kuriyama Chiaki.
Birthday: 11th March Blog: Here. Middle Finger Colour:Red
So, Saki. No, absolutely, definitely not that other Saki. Definitely not. Right. Saki is the centre. She's the other of the death vocalists, being a bit more of a screamer to Rei's growler. As you may be able to see, she's wearing a necklace filled with ikura, or salmon roe. This is apparently her favourite. She blogs way too much, having a hell of a lot more entries than anyone else on there. Obviously singing is a strength. And she's short. Good.
Birthday: 27th January Blog: Here. Middle Finger Colour:Yellow
Yura is the twin-tailed, always happy, always talkative, seemingly always eating (well, she is yellow) one of the lot. Also seems like a bit of a ditz, but unsure as to how much of that is real and how much is the twintails. She does a lot of facial expressions that make her look like a smiley, most notably a very well done impression of the :P emoticon. As a noted abuser of said emoticon, that makes me somewhat happy.
Birthday: 24th October. Blog: Here. Middle Finger Colour: Blue
They say her colour is "water blue" but everything contradicts that so I'm just going with blue. She's the youngest. In the songs she's the one who usually takes the spoken word monologues and seems to be the most normal of the members. Looks wise she reminds me a bit of Watanabe Miyuki doing the 80s-shtick thing at the moment.
So yes, the members. You've seen some lives. Now comes buppan. Where you will get confused.
Now, every time you buy something worth more than 1000 yen you get a communication ticket for a member. If you buy a cheki (which is 1000 yen) you get to have a communication ticket with the person you bought the cheki with, so they can sign it or scribble on it. They also have like a cheki lottery, that you do for 500 yen and if you win you get a cheki or something. The cheki ticket is a weird one. You can have it done with your own camera or phone or whatever, if you don't like carrying around polaroids everywhere in a little album. The actual cheki bit is short as hell because the talking and stuff is supposed to be done with the communication ticket.
Gushin
The bit at the top of the goods page above is the Gushin Card.It's basically a fanclub card. It costs 1000 yen. When you first enrol, you get:
The card.
A proof of joining photo (2L size) and they post another on Twitter.
Thank you for joining all member handshake (10 seconds each) on the day of joining only.
5 Communication Tickets (one for each member)
Further Perks include:
One time only free entry to a paid live (Red Nose Lives are free so don't count. Public lives also don't count).
Discounted goods.
Exclusive goods.
Gushin Member only events (possibility)
So quite a lot for 1000 yen. Also, when they hit a certain number of Gushin members (300) they get to hold a one-man live. At the moment they're at about 78 or something.
Obviously, you can't have more than one card, you can't let someone else use your card, and if you lose it you have to pay 500 yen to get a new one.
Rules
Yes, there are some.I'm translating this right from the website's Rules page.
1. Regarding Communication Time.
At the onset, please buy the goods you would like from the staff. For every 1000 yen you spend you get a communication ticket. After this, please separate into five lines and go into the one of the member you wish to communicate with. Communication tickets are to be used one at a time. Please refrain from using multiple tickets together. Depending on the size of the event, the communication time will differ. Whilst the majority of the time one ticket will get you one minute, be advised that at large-scale events it may be reduced to between 45 and 30 seconds. This is to ensure parity between all fans, so that as many as possible can attend the communication time. Please make note of this beforehand. If any questions, consult with staff.
2. Regarding Touching, Handshakes and the ilk.
Please be advised that during communication time, you may not high five, shake hands or otherwise touch the members.
3. Regarding the taking or making of photos or videos.
In Guso Drop, members are not to be used as subjects of movie or audio recordings. Please understand and cooperate. During shows, it is prohibited to take photos, make videos or audio recordings of Guso Drop.
If the rules are not followed, then the staff or event officials reserve the right to not only stop any further recordings, but also to erase the photographic, movie or audio data on the spot. In the event of malicious content, such as peeping photos or secret recordings being taken, you will thereafter be prohibited from entering further lives or events.
4. Regarding presents and fanletters.
Please do not hand directly to the members, such as during communication time. Hand them to the staff whilst clearly stating who they are for. 5. Other.
Please refrain from attempting to talk to the members, shake hands with the members, or ask them to sign things before and after lives and events, and also during their breaks.
Well, that was interesting. Very few indie idol groups are so matter of fact about their rules. It's usually word of mouth mixed with some Chinese whispers. I think they might have had a bad experience in the past.
In any case, Guso Drop are rising fast. If you're in Tokyo, swing by Shinjuku Red Nose on a Tuesday evening for a free live. Plus 500 yen for a drink. If you can't find Red Nose, look for Ruido K4 signs. Have fun, fuckers.
Anyway, I think that's the longest one of these yet. Intriguing.
Formed of two girls, Zekkyousuru 60do is a rather intriguing addition to a rather vast wilderness of idoldom. Their gimmick, such as it is, consists mostly of their sadistic clothing (and personality). They are punk idols. Punk in terms of music. Their image is more dominatrix than punk, but hell.
I'm honestly not even sure where to start with Zekkyou simply because as far as the internet is concerned, they may as well not exist. They have no central webpage. No youtube videos. No soundcloud. Only twitter. But they use it to maximum effect. They're based in Nagoya, which makes it even more slightly difficult to follow them from Tokyo. They do play live in Tokyo and Osaka though, just not quite as frequently.
Zekkyou's producer is actually a band. A punk band, called 6% is Mine (hence the buttons on Montero's wifebeater). They mostly play punk covers of pop songs, anime songs, Ghibli songs, etc etc, but do write original songs too. They also perform occasionally as a backing band for Zekkyou. Evidently, as a burgeoning idol group they have few (or no) original songs, relying mostly on 6% is Mine's discography for the time being. But even so, their live performances are powerful and intense.
Ah, Montero. The Filipino Idol of Pure Fucking Evil/Awesome. If you thought Lolisyn took the cake on sadistic idols, you were woefully mistaken. Montero is a few leagues higher than Lolisyn have ever aspired. She may look angelic and cute in the above picture, but I can't seemingly get enough of her sadistic grin when she's hurting people. Case in point: this photo.
You can also watch this video of a Lolisyn moshpit (posted by Lolisyn's producer to prove that Lolisyn are "pure-white idols" and that their lives ain't scary) where Montero, dressed as a reindeer, kicks someone in the face. It's about 3:55. Montero does love joining Lolisyn moshpits. I went into more detail about her antics in my actual series of blogs from when I was in Japan, but sometimes it just gets too good. She even broke Kuzumura's (the manager) leg when he was lifting her to kecha someone. She's less than 5ft tall and weighs about as much as a sack of potatoes. Her reaction: laugh. Then she stole his crutches. As you do.
For buppan she will stand on you. She will stab you. Shoot you. Squeeze your head between two chairs. Hit you with a baseball bat. Slap you. Nutshot you. Or anything else that causes you pain. She basically has no limit to her cruelty. And it's awesome.
Kai is quite shy, sweet and reserved. She can also speak English so if she reads this she'll probably be blushing. Unlike Montero, she actually self-identifies as a masochist. Masochist of the "will willingly put other people's whimsy above her own need" type masochism. You can't stand on her or anything. She lived in America for a bit so she's quite good at interacting with foreign fans. At buppan, where Montero is wandering around looking for victims, planning mayhem, or being mischievous; Kai will be stood behind the buppan table talking to people. She will stand on you if you want her to (she thinks it's funny, but takes no pleasure from it), but I've seen some chekis of her giving people lap pillows and stuff. It's quite an odd one.
On stage is where she goes above and beyond though. Her stage diving is beyond belief. I've never seen someone stagedive so ferociously their shoe fell off. Until Kai.
Worth just having a chat with her, even if Montero's ludicrous levels of sadism put you off. She'll win you over.
So yes, if you're interested in crazy punk music, cute girls, a bit of delightful pain and probably the most insane buppan experience in the idol world, check them out.
Anyway, 2& consists of one member: Saki. Formerly, Saya was also a member of the group, but when she left the name carried on being used, with the new concept of 2&=Saki&You. Basically, the whole audience is a member. Indeed, the crowd "performance" tends to be just as much a part of the spectacle as what's going on on the stage.
As to what does go on on the stage, well, it's fucking epic.
As of now, Saki only has nine songs. In order of first performance, they are:
1. NegaPosi Monster
2. Dream
3. Real
4. Mirai wo (To the Future)
5. Katame no Liliy (One-eyed Liliy)
6. Usagi no Dorei to Cassiopeia (Cassiopeia and the Rabbit's Slave)
7. Popping Shower to Ame (Popping Shower and Rain)
8. Walk
9. ○ no Riron (The Theory of ○)
NegaPosi Monster has a PV.
Obviously, that was when Saya was still around. The bass-heavy alternative rock feel is really good.
Real also has a short PV on the same channel, but I won't link it. 2& really does need to be experienced live. So here's a live video:
Them gymnastics.
There are places (Popping Shower) where the crowd basically does on the floor exactly what Saki's doing on the stage. There are places (Liliy) where she ignores the microphone and just shouts.
Liliy is also probably the most arty/experimental song, as she stands in one position for 90% of the song. When she isn't she's screaming whilst holding her head.
It's stunningly effective.
That video is a new recording of the song from the upcoming album released on March 11th. If anyone wants a copy let me know and I'll get you one.
Usagi is a really proggy song. Builds up from nothing. Then suddenly goes a bit insane.
I like it when songs go freeform from section to section.
This video probably shows just how much a part of it the crowd actually are:
Outside of lives, Saki is sweet as anything. Always fun to talk to at buppan, she does some crazy deco-chekis (seriously, they look like she's stuck about three million shiny things to it), and obviously, the satsueikai are amazing. Dunno any other idols you can just walk around and talk with, taking photos whenever the mood strikes you. And it's still cheaper than paying an agency model for an hour (the main reason I never took up portrait photography fulltime).
Honestly, in terms of performance strength I don't think anyone quite matches up to Saki. Her voice is great (obviously, the ludicrous number of live videos shows some fragilities, but she's still in the top 5% of idols), her dancing is amazingly captivating (and dance does nothing for me usually), and the song quality is amazing.
I think her 2& day (2nd Feb) is going to be the first live I attend when I get to Japan next time. Then I'm looking forward to the future. Hopefully I can drag some of you readers along with me.
They had
impressed me last time I went to Japan, especially Hiro who had flounced over to give
me a free cheki because she was bored or something. At the moment they
are formed of two girls, Hiro (left) and Halu (ハル in JP, but she romanises
herself as Halu so who am I to argue? right). They previously had two other
members, without Hiro and Halu, but they both graduated at the same time
so 2nd gen is now it. They're also sometimes joined by Rinen, who is
actually not legal, thus they change their name to Gouhou Lolita Syndrome・Kai (revision) when she performs. They're also sometimes joined by the band Slipperknot who play live instruments behind them.
First
off I'll go into some ground rules with Lolisyn. Just because they're
quite mental doesn't mean there aren't any. Firstly, absolutely no
touching. No handshakes, high fives, or anything of the like. Hiro often
puts her hand up and says "yo!" when you talk to her. Most foreigners
(including me) would likely take this as a "high five bro!" signal, but
if you try she'll get pissed off at you. You can air high five, but
that's about it. Apparently she sometimes runs wild a bit and people get
away with more, but don't take this as something that happens all the
time. Secondly, yes, Lolisyn will step on you. No, the bottom of their
shoes does not count as "touching" so they're allowed to do it. Some of
the fans bring props. One guy wears nekomimi and wraps a pink chain
around his neck with a bell on it for Hiro to hold whilst she stands on
him. As long as it doesn't involve proper touching they pretty much can
stand on you any way you want. Thirdly, I have no idea how old Rinen is
but I think it's safe to say the same standards don't apply to her.
Unless you see Rinen standing on wota personally I'd stick to the
regular cheki stuff (peace signs and such) until she's a full member or
legal.
(Rinen Debut)
Their songs are on the heavier side of the idol spectrum, coming probably just above half of Babymetal's output and just below the rest. When it was Rina and Natsumi they were supposedly "emo" idols but there's scarce any trace of that left now. The fans though are probably a level above Babymetal's on the crazy scale. Whilst a wall of death may be fun, the sheer exuberance of the wota at Lolisyn gigs is a level above. As many metal fans (and physicists) will tell you, a sparser number of moving objects tend to collide at greater velocity, thus the sea of people moshpits that form at Babymetal concerts tend to be more suffocating than violent. Also the fewer number of people means it's easier to escape if you fall, which you can't always do at more popular groups.
(First gen)
Because I can, I decided to translate the lyrics to Kyoaku Naru Croissant.
After the hectic events of the previous four (or five) days I felt I deserved a lie in. Thus, suitably rested, I rose about 4pm. Now, as I alluded to in the last post, after the satsueikai with Saki the manager had cryptically stated that Saki didn't have any more lives planned for the duration of me being in Japan. As 2&, in any case.
This drew my mind back to a few months ago, where I saw a cryptic picture posted on DM-Produce's website, featuring some amputated hands and a girl who looked rather like Saki. The group was called Guso Drop, and would be debuting in late September or early October, I think. It was a while back, not entirely sure. Either way, I began to search, which was bloody hard as the kanji for Guso (偶想) don't actually fucking mean anything together in Japanese, but means "Random Thoughts" in Chinese. I've no fucking idea what they were on about. Either way, that evening Guso Drop were scheduled to perform their weekly free show at Shinjuku Red Nose.
Weekly free show is a bit of a misnomer, as they cancel the show in the event of any of the members being busy doing anything else, whether it's schoolwork, other idol jobs, etc etc etc. But this week it was on, so I decided to go.
The first, and major problem, was the fact that Shinjuku Red Nose may as well not fucking exist. I got to Shinjuku, knew from experience that if I headed up past the Seibu Shinjuku station I'd get to Marz, and if I followed that road along I'd pass Birth and come out on a junction which contained a hotel, a Lawson, a 7Eleven, and apparently, Red Nose.
I read every single sign on every building in the vicinity. No mention of a Red Nose, either in Katakana or Kanji.
I went to the Police Box. Usually they're well equipped to deal with giving directions to useless tourists, especially given the location on the North Side of Kabukicho (though I imagine most foreigners looking for directions in Kabukicho are either sex workers looking to escape or punters so drunk they can't remember where the station is). Unfortunately the cops didn't have a clue, even when I showed them the map Google had helpfully provided me.
I nearly gave up. I went back to where it was supposed to be, and spotted a Pasela across the street.
Free WiFi gets.
Neatly loitering outside the door, not looking suspicious at all, I found Red Nose's website and saw that it was supposed to be on the basement 2F level of the building I was standing across from. Now, the only sign for anything in the basement was for a live house called Ruido K4, so I decided to head to that and go from there. I headed down one staircase. It was the day of a massive 6 hour Visual Kei event in there, so I asked some of the reclining band members where the fuck Red Nose was. Apparently it was up the stairs, across to the non-staff staircase, and then back down to the same floor. There were a bunch of security boards between Ruido and Red Nose.
Either way, I thanked the Visual Kei blokes and headed up the stairs, across, and back down. I found a ticket thing (and finally a sign for Red Nose), and asked if it was. It wasn't. I had to go into a room with a curtain across the door, then pay for the drink ticket (free lives are never free, you still have to pay for the drink tickets. Gits) and go through another curtain, where I was met by the D-M manager from Nagoya. Thank fuck, I finally thought. He handed me a little black slip of card and a flyer and I sat down on the only free seat.
Red Nose is honestly the smallest venue I've ever seen. There's a step in the middle of what is a 4.3m wide floor space. The stage is about maybe 2.5mx4.3m. It's ridiculous. The seats were set up on the "lower" tier, so there were about 20 people there. I felt completely confused. Luckily, some of the 2& Family recognised me so I wasn't just a completely random gaijin in their eyes.
The lights went down and I was really not quite sure what I was in for. Usually I go into new idols with at least some idea of what the hell they're about, but my prep time for Guso Drop had been about 2 hours so I'd basically heard two songs. I didn't know why we had seats, why everyone was suddenly rustling through their bags and pulling out sweets, or why there was a cardboard box on stage.
Suddenly the lights went down and five girls dressed in nekomimi onesies were onstage, in the cardboard box. It was to be a play? I think. The manager got one of the audience to read the narration from a script. Luckily I wasn't asked. The person next to me was and I could barely read half the kanji. Stupidly high level.
The girls were playing cats that had been abandoned, but at first didn't believe it, then found a letter from their previous owner saying the reasons why they had been. Saki was too loud, Yura ate too much, and some other shit. They then decided to change it, so Yura "could eat any kind of food with contentment" and Saki "could shout". Then Rei started writing about three million things so they started a fight.
Then they all started moaning that they were hungry, and jumped off the stage into the crowd, demanding we all empty our bags to give them food. Saki made a beeline directly for me. I didn't have any. Saki gave up. They had some success, and even nicked someone's cellphone. They went back to the stage and some more shit happened and then they buggered off, with all the stuff they nicked. The manager piped over the PA that they'd get it back later.
The chairs were packed up and put away, and the live began. The first song was called Level, and featured Saki screaming. And Rei screaming. And rapping. And a mixture of djent and dubstep that I'm sure innovators of both genres would find heretical, but I didn't mind overly.
The MC started, and it was some random bullshit. The next song, Slow Rain@Tokyo started, and they got out umbrellas.
Glow Umbrellas.
Fucking cool. The floor was so small you were basically right next to them, so I was trying not to headbang too hard lest I end up headbutting them. Another guy with long hair seemed to have the same issue. Kept looking like he was going to go full Corpsegrinder and then stopped at the last moment.
Straight after Slow Rain they went into "Betsuni Jouzu Janakutemo Iijan, Takaga Ongaku Nandakara. Nee? Toge Onna △" which has to be the weirdest song title I've ever seen. Actually it reads more like an excuse than a songtitle. Also, it wasn't bad at all, leaving the title seeming a bit surreal.
Three songs over, and another MC. This time the topic was how much Saki looked like 2&. "The fuck?" I thought. Saki was like, "she's really a senpai I admire!" My brain was full of fuck. They even pretend they ain't the same person. It's still continuing even now on Twitter, with them "talking to each other". Some multiple personality disorder shit there, I'm sure. The manager interrupted over the PA telling them to hurry up with the MC. Then he said the next song would be Level 6, which is still rough as fuck around the edges. It was its first perfomance. Saki and Rei didn't know the dance. Saki, Rei and Yura didn't know the lyrics. Even so, with the three of them looking a bit like stunned deer in headlights they pulled it off somewhat.
Still, that was all the songs I knew about. So they started another MC. Then were cut off because the manager was bored and obviously wanted to hear them sing Level again. So they did. It carried on in this fashion with MCs being interrupted by random songs until the end of the show. Honestly, it was quite a new experience. I did eventually start headbanging. No moshing though. If we'd moshed in that place the walls would probably have collapsed. Thus we headed into buppan, and my brain became even more full of fuck. The Hells Angel manager returned, and demanded that they change back into their nekomimi onesies for the buppan. The piece of card the other manager had given me when I walked in was a "communication ticket" for Rei. I asked another wota (Guso Drop call their fans "kamisama", or "gods") for help because I was confused as fuck. Basically you went up to the left hand side of the stage, which was the actual buppan (sale of goods). There you would buy a cheki, or Tshirt, or whatever, from the Hells Angel Manager, who for this occasion had sprouted a pencil moustache, ostensibly to disguise himself. When you bought something you would get a communication ticket for someone. If you got a cheki then you'd obviously get a ticket for that member. So I bought a ticket for Saki. Then I had to go to the right hand side of the stage, where the manager I met in Nagoya would take the cheki for you. But very little talking. I took a cheki with Saki and she thanked me for coming and managing to find the damn place. Then I went back and got confused again. Apparently the communication tickets are for one minute. When all the chekis and shit had finished all the girls sat on the edge of the stage and we went up to them, and the managers actually timed the exact minute. I mean, I've seen timers at indie idol events (Lolisyn use them, then promptly ignore them; Next Shoujo Jiken sometimes use them) but never so strictly. In the minute you can just talk, they can sign something, write shit on a cheki, or whatever. You can bring outside stuff for them to sign. It's all a bit clusterfuck.
Didn't need to ask my name, same writing style, same everything. Definitely one person. But maybe the two personalities thing is so that 2& fans could ostensibly oshi someone else in Guso Drop and have it not be an oshihen from Saki. Makes sense if you read Level's lyrics, anyway...
After this I started reading the flyer I was given. More fucking hard kanji, but it was basically 1000 yen for a membership card that gave you some pretty nifty benefits. I went up to Hells Angel Manager and got one, and was promptly handed a communication ticket for every member. Then I got to do a handshake with every member. Anna was cute, she'd spent the entire stage play bit and buppan barefoot, because apparently it looked more catlike than wearing shoes. Yura started doing derp faces at me. Saki was pretty chill, as usual. She'd tied a bloody three-eyed rabbit to her chest. Pointed at it and asked me if I thought it was cute. I said the third eye made all the difference. Rei tried talking English (I could have guessed. It's always the blonde ones), and said she liked Slipknot. I said I didn't and moved on. Shion asked how I'd found out about them. I said I was Saki's fan and she saw the Tshirt I was wearing (2&'s First Anniversary as a Solo Act Tshirt) and she was like, "oh, a 2& fan..." Hinting, yet again. So weird.
Thereafter there was a memorial photo taken with all members to celebrate people joining the Gushin (members club or whatever). They took a 2L that you could pick up the next week (I asked if I could pick mine up in February...) and then took one for Twitter (lol, hate it when my frames obsure my eyes). Either way, it's a lot for just 1000 yen and joining up. And that was it. The live was over, they disappeared (after Anna did the same as Saki the previous Friday and showed everyone just how dirty the stage had been), and we fucked off. The stairs on the way up had become overcrowded with Visual Kei fangirls making crude observations about idol wota. Then I walked past and they grew very confused. Always fun. Night over, I sat on twitter half the night trying to do some propaganda. Don't think it worked. No one paid any attention. Wednesday 5th November
The next day I had nothing to do, so in accordance with my usual technique in Japan when I have nothing to do, I decided I'd go to PARMS. My levels of exhaustion had caught up with me and I spent the majority of the day abed, so I shall jump straight to the good bit. I arranged to meet Dean before the show, as usual, and then planned some further exploits. orob and Jul would be joining us too, and some fair amount of drinking was to be involved.
I ended up on the exact same train as Dean, though when I asked what carriage he was in I lost Wifi and he couldn't reply beforehand. Thus when I got off the train at Akiba he tapped me on the shoulder before I got on the escalator. Nearly gave me a heart attack, the git.
He had his skateboard with him, because (in his words) Ayaka has a tsunami in her pants whenever he takes it to PARMS. So we arrived and waited for Jul. We were going to hit Beckers but it was full, as was Pepper Lunch, and so we got drinks instead.
Eventually orob turned up, and we walked around for a while pushing Dean around on his skateboard because he's a lazy git. At PARMS we met up with Jack again, and then we sort of ended up all over the place. Jul and Dean had gone ahead, I went to the toilet after buying the tickets and went and stood in the line on the stairs, and orob and Jack were elsewhere. We all eventually got into the area though.
Dean and Jul went straight in for handshakes, and dragged me with them. I got one and thought it was an all-groups handshake. Turns out it's just one group. I started at the front, which happened to be Oz.
First in line was Hoshi Aina. I told her I'd been at her birthday live half a year ago (半年前). She heard three years ago (三年前） and got very confused. I used a different pronunciation and she got it. She's quite cute. Next up was someone I didn't know and didn't pay any attention. Next was Koume. She was possibly the worst Halloween costumer, and when she greeted me in English with "HELLO! I'M MEGAPOSIHAPPY!" I just replied, "あ、そうっすか？" ("Oh, is that so?" in a really uninterested and lazy way). Cue everyone else in Oz to burst out laughing. The next person in line said I was funny, which was in itself quite funny. The new Dorothy, Maipuu (...not even going there) looked like she needed advice on acne medication, which I'd have been happy to provide (roaccutane ftw) had some Oz fans not started shaking hands and so they figured they'd better start moving me along. Either way, to me Maipuu is now just "Minefield".
There was another member I can't remember and then Sakamoto Mana at the end. Glorious Sakamoto, the one who helpfully provided me and Dean with useless directions in March. She might have remembered me, but she was still laughing uncontrollably.
As I said in the last post, I got a bit salty towards the idols. But it resulted in amusement so I'm not fussed.
After this I tried to hit Pa-Ken's line but the girl told me that it was one line only. I headed over to Dean and Jul and told them what had occured, whereupon they burst out laughing too. Oz is apparently the worst group to go to. Oh well, no one in Armour interested me overmuch (Jun mostly, Moa very occasionally); Steam was still missing Tomoe and Satsuki, and Ayaka was probably having a tsunami in her pants; and I only ever notice Nanaka in Juuban anyway.
Randomness over, we got ready for the Kamen Joshi live. Oh Wednesdays. First we had Pa-Ken and Oz, which was slightly interesting. Once again I just basically followed Dean as I couldn't be fucked. Pa-Ken's songs are quite cool (on the steps on the way up you could hear them soundchecking CoCoRoid,which unfortunately is basically only ever played properly by Armour Girls in the folkpunk arrangement nowadays), but none of the girls are quite as good as those in the original lineup.
Oz carried on where they usually do, with me just doing Aina calls. Kept getting pushed with Dean towards the front (weren't many Aina fans there that day). Oh well, we endured it. Nothing much else to do but try to enjoy it. Oz's songs are mostly midde-of-the-road generic pop. Not much to get it up for.
Next up we had Kamen Joshi. It was a right clusterfuck trying to get to the right places for all the units, who today had 2 songs each, with Kamen Joshi songs intertwining it all.
Because I can (and to make this post look bigger after the previous two epics) I'll link some of the crazy shit they play.
Marine Road, quite possibly the most ridiculous idol PV ever recorded. You may be saying, "most idol groups do beach PVs!" and you would be right. But most of them don't record it during a typhoon. Also, that genre fuckery.
Obviously, I can't look away from Nanaka when Nanaka's on stage, which is quite disturbing. Most people probably think of Momoclo's Reni when they think of ridiculously overexaggerated dancing (electric shock girl). Nanaka is a level above that. It seriously looks like she's being punched at times. Or a puppet, dancing on the strings of a master ventriloquist. Never seen anything more disturbing.
Obviously if Tomoe were there I might be able to look away. Lacking that, I'm just buggered really.
Anyway, we ended up getting some more delightful Juuban, a bit of Steam and some Armour in amidst the Kamen Joshi and it wasn't too bad.
I bought three tickets and headed up to do my usual with Nanaka. I told her it might be my last PARMS this trip so she was slightly gutted to lose her gaijin fan, I think. She pulled a weird face so I went salty again, for the cheki. Then I went around and did Yuko. She was fun. I still didn't ask to see what lay under her wrist-sheathe. The photo blurred like shit and whilst Yuko looked cute I got butchered, hence the coin.
Usually when you get a blurry as fuck one you can retake it, but this time only two chekis had been had and they were trying to stop the buppan. Well, I thought, fuck that. There was no time to argue about the blur with staff and use my last ticket. I gave my remaining cheki ticket to Dean in the vein hope he'd go to Ayaka, but he went to Moa. Treacherous bastard. I didn't even get to argue about the blur because we got kicked out.
The actual fuck? It was barely even 10pm.
Kick out attained we sat on the railing outside Pasela and bitched a bit. Jack buggered off. Then we watched possibly the weirdest/creepiest fan/idol interaction in Alice Project: dates. They get to go into the Honey Toast shop with the girl and buy them shit. It costs about 15000 yen. It lasts about ten minutes. It happens before and after the shows. It's weird. Ayaka was doing one so we commented on that. Two Japanese fans were near us so Dean struck up a conversation with them, which I joined in. It quickly turned pretty dirty, with the Japanese guys nearly dying of laughter after I translated Dean's innocuous aside: "I couldn't even get it up in ten minutes..."
We waited for a bunch of members to come out, which they did. We basically ignored them. We had plans.
It was still early as hell, so we headed to Saizeriya. Well, three of us walked, Dean was pushed. I never did get the chance to ask Ayaka if she'd achieved a tsunami in her pants...
In Saizeriya we got some food, because I was actually starving. We also got drink bars, much to Jul's annoyance. Random conversations and quick but fake Italian food quickly reduced to nothing, we decided to head to Don Quixote in search of the antidote to life: beer.
As usual I bought some stupidly strong ones. We headed back to the train station but on the way back we spotted two small figures. It was Ayaka and Sakamoto. We weren't stalking them. We walked past them, and went the long way around to the station, whereupon we saw what lines they went on. How bizarre, the lack of countermeasures against potential stalkers. We didn't give a fuck, then jumped on a train and headed to Nippori, where we dropped everything off at my place and headed out to the cemetary again. We would be drinking with the ashes of about a million dead people.
After sitting and talking for a few hours and being slightly drunk, we headed back to mine for more drinks, which we obtained from the 7Eleven (I swear the convenience store clerks in and around Nippori must have thought I was an alcoholic). We sat in my apartment for a good few hours, watching idol videos and shit on orob's laptop. Then at 3am he gave up and went to bed. Dean and Jul carried on talking, I too was becoming quite knackered. By 4am I was half asleep. By 4:30 they'd gone to catch the first train, but ended up staying in a McDonalds for a further hour and some. Ruined, I slept.
Thursday 6th November
There were no idol events of any kind that I had any interest in at all until Lolisyn on Saturday, which I was still awaiting the times of. Reaching the end of my tether, I stayed in bed until about 4pm, whereupon orob finally (on the 4th time of asking) consented to go to the greatest Indian restaurant in the world, which just happens to be located in Nippori.
We dragged Turbos and Sferris along with us so they could read the menu, but they decided in their (lack of) wisdom they would prefer to eat something cheap and disturbing before they headed out to a Lovendor event. I was actually tempted to go with them, but the lure of curry was slightly greater than the lure of being snarky with Marin, so in we headed.
Darjeeling, as I think I said in March, is amazing. The restaurant is sort of littered with Hindu ornaments, the lighting is lower than anything, the ambience is sublime, and there's almost always a 360p Ravi Shankar DVD playing on the 50" HDTV looking grainy as all shit.
The food is also sublime, I don't call it the best Indian restaurant in the world for nothing. The owner/waiter speaks about eleven languages so we were waited on in perfect English, meanwhile he was waiting on a Japanese lady in perfect Japanese, and was talking to his chef in Hindi and the delivery guy in Tamil. The naan bread are about 18 inches long, and mine was covered in cheese and garlic and spices and who knows what else. The curry had actual chicken, which is nonexistent in Japan, seemingly. The food basically gave me the culinary version of an orgasm.
orob seemed to experience the same.
Thanks given we headed out into the now mercifully dry Nippori to do some shopping. orob was after some kind of chocolate covered coffee beans called CoffeeBeat or something, which involved going into every supermarket, convenience store and just about anything else to find some. We stumbled across some interesting finds, like an aisle dedicated to Waitrose products (wait what?) and a supply of Hitachino Nest beer, which unfortuantely didn't include their legendary Weizen or Witbier. Eventually, about 3/4 of the way to Nishinippori, we found a supermarket where there were about 18 cartons of it. We also found a 2.7l bottle of whisky for about 1800 yen, but I figured I didn't want to have alcohol poisoning.
Back we went to Bamboo, where once again I slept.
Friday 7th November
Tokyo really is the best place in the world to be a hikikomori. I stayed in bed all day, getting up about 10pm to head to 7Eleven to buy some food. Then I went back to bed. Saturday 8th November
I was faced with a choice of all choices. Lolisyn had still not announced the times of their sets, and I was somewhat nauseous anyway (eating twice in the previous 60 hours or so probably not the best idea ever), so I didn't want to trek all the way to Kofu in the middle of the fucking mountains by 3pm to see Lolisyn play a 20 minute set at 8pm. Eventually my choice became a lot simpler: I listened to one of the other groups playing. None of them were idol groups. The headliners were this lot:
I had no idea what to make of it, some kind of electronica/ska/screamo/pop but if all the other groups were the same I figured I couldn't be fucked. So I went to Jun's seitansai at PARMS.
It was going to be an epic gathering. Miles, Dean, Jul and Jack would be there anyway. We met up outside Akiba station where some singer songwriter was failing to attract a crowd. We headed into a pub halfway up a building outside the station, where Dean and Miles promptly ordered everything on the menu.
Himari started moaning on twitter that she didn't want to go to PARMS on her own, so Miles invited her to join us. Now six in number, we started drinking, eating random shit (at one point there was so much on the table I've no idea whose any of it was), and talking shit. We teased Dean about his kanji failings (he wanted to know what some kanji said on twitter. If he'd turned around a bit he would have seen the sign outside the station spelling the dread name Akihabara). We teased Himari a bit because she showed us pictures of her from three years previous. Almost looked like a different person. I asked if she'd had surgery. She hadn't.
Miles ordered a pot of sake. The bastard. It came over and we each had a little stone cup full. Jack nearly fainted because it was hot. I just gagged. Luckily no one had to apologise for anyone else. We headed to PARMS, once again with Miles in full control of the Himaribike. He couldn't get her to wheelie.
We arrived at Pasela and what else could we do but hit the third floor bar? We had shots of Jaeger. In test tubes. Himari, unused to German herb spirits, turned about seventy different colours of varying intensity. To run up the stairs to PARMS would probably have killed her, so Jack and I dragged her up a few flights. Much amusement ensued. Once inside PARMS Dean and Miles headed off for handshakes. Jul and Jack disappeared. Himari didn't like handshakes, so we just stood poking each other. Not even joking. She was moaning that she was hot. I told her to take off her cardigan. She refused because the shirt she was wearing was "too ugly" and she was "too fat". I told her to fuck off. She was like, "look, it's all punipuni" and grabbed my finger and poked it into her stomach. Barely 1mm of give. She is a fool. In revenge I did the same. She didn't argue after that.
The show began. Once again Oz and Pa-Ken did their shit. I did the same as I had on Wednesday, following whichever Pa-Ken! girl Dean was going for and Aina in Oz. It was pretty normal. Juuban were next, so I got out both my glowsticks and went a bit crazy as it was going to be my last for a while. I think I was about 4 or 5 back in the Nanaka oshi "line", squeezed on both sides by the hordes of Anna wota, who seemingly can't tell the difference between red and white. The MCs were quite amusing. Nanaka had designed Jun's birthday shirt, but none of us in the Nanaka line were wearing it. She pouted and was cute.
Steam Girls still had no Tomoe, so I went Ayaka again. This time it was even worse. It was Dean, me, and two other guys for her. Kamiya has some srs level of fans, as do the others, even the two who don't turn up. I guess they don't do what I do and "betray" Tomoe when she ain't there.
Then it was time for Jun's seitansai. Armour came out and I was trying to get into the Jun oshi crowd. By the time I found space I was more than halfway back. Lots of girls are Jun-oshi, it's quite weird. I had one sat next to me during all the MCs, and I felt weird when we did all the "grab on to each other and swing back and forth" because she looked like she was damn young. Not the youngest there though, some tiny kid was on her dad's shoulders the entire time. Amusing level of live over, it was birthday time. Jun got caked in the face, as is usual. The birthday letter was so boring I can't remember it. Everyone went and changed into Jun's birthday tshirt. The usual shit happened.
Buppan started and I could not be fucked to get a cheki. Jun was wearing a pink dress, so Jul had to have a few with her. One was blurred so we convinced the 893 guy to give him another. Dean still wouldn't get a cheki with Ayaka. He got one with Moa. After all the chekis and such are completed, at birthday lives they hold up a massive sign and the crowd go behind them and get pictures taken and shit. Moa was on our side of the hall, holding the sign. She winked at Dean to go up. He demurred. She beckoned. He wavered. She ordered. He went.
Some mind control shit right there.
Following this came kick out, so we went to Honey Toast. Never a more disgusting concept. They get a loaf of bread, slice the top off, pull all the innards out, slice it, toast it, then put it back in with fruit and icecream and custard and shit like that. We ordered two. I got a milk cocktail because Henkka, the bastard, had got me hooked on them and the place served them. I tried eating some of the honey toast. It was like the most tooth-decaying bile-raising sweet-as-fuck piece of evil I'd ever eaten.
I gave up. The others carried on and seemed to enjoy it. No idea why.
We all chipped in and gave Himari drama recommendations to improve her English, because she was pissed off by all the English teachers she'd had so wanted to try the immersion method. Then we headed back to the station.
By this stage my malaise from earlier had entirely dissipated, and with my flight in the morning I couldn't be fucked to sleep. No one wanted to do anything fun that evening. Dean and Miles had work the next day. Jack and Jul had events. Himari had disappeared.
Betrayed, I headed back to Nippori and tidied the apartment and packed.
Sunday 9th November
At 7:30am I had a knock on my door.
I had expected the kickout time to be early (I'd asked for them to come before 10, as they usually say their check-in and -out times are 10am-4pm) but 7:30 was pushing it. Either way, I got my deposit back, gave back the key, and was told I could sleep until 8am but then I had to be out.
I got bored of tripping balls and headed through security. My gate was right past emigration, so I decided to walk the whole of the airport again. Then I gave up and sat down. The flight was boring, the inflight entertainment system didn't work (I was given 4000 miles as an apology, which they've still not credited me with), and I suffered the entire flight with some one sleeping next to me, so I couldn't get up and move around.
Small wonder the doctors thought I had DVT.
Either way, I got back to shitty UK, certain in my belief that I couldn't go back to major idols. The underground just so much more fun. I spent far too much money, experienced life as a hikikomori in Tokyo for the first time in six years, and found a bunch of new idols to throw money at (and be trodden on by). I attained a crowning moment of awesome in photography, made new friends, pissed old friends off, pissed the new friends off, and still managed to get away with it.
