Year In Review 2012 Part 2: Everything Else and Awards

I won't lie, Part 1 of this post was a bit of a rambling, incoherent mess. Such are the problems with trying out a new format for something. Anyway, this post will probably adhere slightly more to my usual standard than that last piece of nonsense. So, awards, bests, worsts, and a top ten list which should probably have been posted like ten days ago on Beats but which has been sitting in the draft section fully completed just waiting for someone to click the post button. All of these and more to be found below.

Biggest Tosser of the Year 2012

That's right, it's Hyadain. Don't get me wrong, I think the guy's fucking gifted, and while maybe not quite a genius, he's only a few rungs down from it. So why's he the biggest tosser of the year? Well, a few reasons. I've decided that I can't give the award to Tsunku yet again (face it, he'd probably get it every year), and I don't think any idols have pissed me off a great deal this year. AkiP has been at his trolling-best, so that basically leaves Hyadain. So, how has he been a cunt this year? Well, his (incredibly bloated) solo album was finally released. It contains some very good songs (plus decent cameos in some of them from other artists he's written for, including a lulzy Momoclo appearance). It also contains one of the most sudden and out of place random Gothenburg Death Metal songs I've ever heard. The English version is here, but the album version is in JP which sounds slightly less awkward. However, the main problem with this album is that there are 27 tracks on it, containing no less than three versions of Kakakatakataomoi. Also, a great deal of the songs are frankly, shit. He could have had a very good one disc album, but instead we get a mediocre two disc set. If he had a record exec or even an executive producer to tell him he needs to excise some of the shit, we'd have a better album. Either that, or he needs to learn to self-critique more effectively. So yea, for that reason, completely unrelated to idols really, he's the biggest tosser of 2012. Still awesome though.

Biggest WTF ARE YOU ON NOW DEVIN!? of 2012



Really speaks for itself doesn't it?

Best Non-Prog Metal Band of 2012

And no, I'm not even fucking kidding. Normal metal this year sucked ass. Babymetal even had some prog tendencies (Ii ne, for example, having 11 consecutive sections before repeating any), but Headbanger and now the early PV release for Ijime Dame Zettai just rocks fucking harder than anything since I can remember. Plus, add to that the fact that metal this year was just plain boring as fuck (I'd say the best non-progressive metal album this year was Mors Principium Est's ...And Death Said Live, and I fucking hate melodeath most of the time), makes the bringers of the Mosh Pit of Chaos probably the best exponent of the genre this year. Even though most trve kvlt grim necro metalheads hate them, at least their music transcends genre boundaries, takes risks and just does not give a single fuck. INFERNAL HAILS!

A Year In Review 2012, Part 1: Idols

So, this year I'm being slightly lazy. Also slightly unfair to you, the reader, as I'm going to make you trawl through all my year review on all idol groups in just one post, whereas in previous years I've kept it all separated into nice little easy to consume and ignore posts. However, this year I've decided that my approach of yesteryear is no longer even possible. How could it be, with an ever expanding number of idols that demand my attention, all of which having PVs and songs and personalities and catchphrases and so on to keep up with? Indeed, my excess had to reach its end at some point. This year, for example, the 48 family post would have been especially ridiculous had I kept the previous format. AKB alone had 20 PVs from singles, then an extra 3 for old songs and I don't know how many for Team Surprise, but I think it was 12. SKE had 12 (IIRC), NMB had 16, HKT had 1. By this point we're already at 64 and that's without any subunits or soloists. I think everything needs to end and at this point, merely attempting to come to terms with the sheer number of PVs resulted in my mind breaking.

So, as a result, you will see a slimlined version of my previous posts. I will take each group, and give my opinion on which has been their best song, their worst song, and best and worst PVs. With some of the bigger groups I'll also probably say which is their best standout moment or something. This saves me time and effort, which is good. After that I'll do another post of my usual tirade of weird and wonderful awards. So, into the fiery pit we descend once more...

WARNING: Embedded video heavy.

Passpo☆ - One World review

And at long last it ends. The review reign of terror that has lasted since August has come to an end. And what better way to end it than with the group that I've always meant to review properly, but just never got around to doing.

So yes, Passpo. Those flight attendant people who randomly got number one on the single charts last year thanks mostly to releasing about 15 versions of one single. But hey, if it works. Music-wise they're right up my street. Good pop, good rock, and a mix of both with damn good hooks and not bad vocal wise. So, onwards to the review.

Preamble: Blue, white and silver. Very airline-like. I just hope their seats recline and that boarding times aren't as bad as all the airlines I've been on lately.

BiS - IDOL is DEAD review

So, at last we're reaching the end of this long run of nothing-but-reviews that has plagued this blog for a while now. Only one album review left. I might touch on TGS and SKE albums in the year-in-review posts, but other than that it's only this and Passpo left now.

Anyway, BiS. I've gone into what I sort of like about BiS on Beats a few times, but I've never reviewed anything properly of theirs before. Thus this time, I will.

I'm also going to link any relevant PVs because they do help somewhat in understanding BiS' absolute psychosis.

Preamble: Cover fits well, Pour Lui looks a bit screwy, Wacky looks stoned off her tits, Yuffie's shadow cleavage is amusing, and Nozomi and Michael just look a bit like wounded puppies that want you to stop hitting them with a baseball bat that has nails coming out of it. That rather gory description aside, to the music.

SUPER☆GiRLS - Everybody JUMP!! review

So, I'm back again, once more later than I could have possibly imagined. Still 3 reviews left plus four year-end posts plus a lot of other shit to deal with in under 3 weeks until my life changes irrevocably once more. Anyway, next up is Super Girls, the long long awaited review which I've been procrastinating on for 10 months. Go me.

Preamble: So, I gave their last album, a decent effort, 7/10. Can they improve upon it? The cover looks pretty boring, but it's Avex. They're too busy throwing money at TGS who sell hardly anything compared to Super Girls. But oh well...

A Shocking World Reformation Metal Song

Also known as HOLY FUCK BATMAN Babymetal are back and I think they want to kill you. Or at least, burn you to death. Or moe you to death. I'm never actually sure which. It stands to reason though that as soon as I finish reviewing the last Sakura Gakuin album the video for Ijime, Dame, Zettai, the long awaited and forever buried in a live-only format song has been released. And HOLY FUCK is it epic. Not just the song, oh no. The video is more epic than Tyr. In fact, the bloke in the video looks like he might be from Tyr...

Anyway, here is the video:



So, where to start? I suppose the beginning might be the best place...

A flaming guitar, a sorrowful piano piece, SUMETAL singing a sad vocal line that would sound a little more sad if she wasn't singing "lu lu luuuu lu lu luuuuu", unless that's a really meta dig at all the comments on Blabbermouth that flame Babymetal but admit that "at least it's better than Lulu" (in reference to Metallica's shit collaboration with Lou Reed, if you haven't heard of it). The girls themselves are robed in a way that reminds me slightly of Satyricon's epic video for Mother North (though, minus the corpsepaint, blood and nudity), and the Babybones band thing have returned. Then there's the man from Tyr...

Then metal...

From here on I'll let you decide your own way. I love the fuck out of it, especially when Moa and Yui are dual-soloing on guitars (Moa's tapping = hilarious), Sumetal's vocals throughout, and the not-very-subtle dig at rap/hiphop as the one repressing the Tyr guy...

*insert "help, help, I'm being repressed!" here*

Anyway, from this, I'm supporting even more what I said in my review on LI. You can graduate Suzuka from Sakura Gakuin but PLEASE do not let her leave Babymetal. Really. She's fucking awesome. And this is also fucking awesome. Power metal, no hints of techno or rap or anything. Just good old metal. And win. Lots and lots of win.

Enjoy fuckers.

Sakura Gakuin - 2011 Nendo~Friends~ review

Long overdue, despite saying last week that I'd be reviewing all these albums really quickly by the end of November, I've done exactly nothing since (due to having my left ear rather helpfully decide that it really didn't want to work anymore), but I'm getting around to reviewing all these bloody things now I'm fixed. Eventually. Next up will be either Super Girls I guess. Or Passpo. Or BiS. Oh, who the fuck knows. But I'm not reviewing SKE's album anymore. Any original album with so many tracks, so few of which are new, is nothing more than a best-of album masquerading as a real album. Anyway, SakuGaku tiem.

Preamble: So, with this album I'm a good eight months late with the review. Good start. The cover looks sort of like you'd expect, the graduating girls in the middle and everyone else elsewhere. The logo design is horrible though. Anyway, with hope onwards to the music.

Himekyun Fruits Can - Renai Miracle review

I've got so many reviews to write now it's getting ridiculous, so I'm going to try and bash them all out before the end of November so that I can spend all of my December writing up year-in-review posts that everyone hates just to annoy them when I "overlook" a certain album they think is the best thing ever just because they really like the girls in a certain group yet have no conception about the musical merit (or increasingly, the lack thereof) whatsoever.

So, my to-do list from now til the end of daysthe year:

• Super Girls review (album released in February)
• Sakura Gakuin review (album released in March)
• Himekyun review (album released in August)
• SKE48 review (album released in September)
• BiS review (album released in October)
• Passpo review (album released in November)
• H!P Year in Review
• xxx48 Year in Review
• Stardust/Avex/Local/Indie Idols Year in Review
• Final post and awards

So, I have my work cut out for me considering I've now not posted anything since mid-September. I'm not going to do TGS' album because I've a feeling I won't like it, and will flame it mercilessly.

But anyway, I digress. Himekyun Fruits Can are from Ehime. Some Japanese guy in Paris introduced me to them at the Buono gig in February; straight after he proclaimed his eternal devotion to Momochi and H!P. I guess being a fan of local idols doesn't make you DD. But yea, he introduced me to them. Then I forgot their name. Took a quick wotatrip to Manchester and the skills of people with smartphones to locate their name, at the Tokyo Idol Festival website or something, and from there I've not looked back. Did a brief intro to them in my pervy post, but haven't said anything since then. Until now. So, review time.

So, remember BiS?

Those crazy nutcases now on Avex have done quite a lot of things to disturb people in recent times, including but not limited to fake naked PVs, gore/amateur porn PVs, crucifiction and corpse paint metal and school swimsuit battle sequences. If that's not enough to fully convince you that their sanity (or apparent lack thereof) is worth a gander, then how about their latest PV?



They've seemingly abandoned idol singing entirely, instead substituting for screaming, growling and other things assuredly well-known to the metalhead readers. I must say, not bad growling for Japanese girls. Not quite Gallhammer level yet, but pretty damn good. Musically it's a death metal/metalcore type thing with techno bits added in (sounds like it was written by Blood Stain Child, actually), but done right this could be the most interesting thing to occur in idoldom for a while. Shame they beat Babymetal to the screaming though, I was looking forward to Su-metal letting out a Varg-esque wail.

Even so, the fact that this is being released on Avex makes me wonder if I was wrong about them all along. I assumed they were a "trendy" label that released all the urban flavoured stuff, and jumped on the idol bandwagon with Super Girls (and later signing SKE) when it looked profitable. Not counting TGS and Sweets and that lot because Avex have a history of putting out dance-and-vocal units like that. But that Avex either encourage (or just don't try to stop) BiS to release such utter insanity means that they're either attempting to promote a shakeup of the Japanese music industry, or they just don't give a shit about BiS (which often happens when indie groups get a major label deal, get given a massive advance and then spend months in a studio producing something more massive in scale than anything the genre's seen before, when all the label were expecting was a single).

But anyway, BiS' new album is out near the end of October. If this is any indication it might (might...) just end up being my top idol album of the year (not that it has much competition, unless Momoclo decide to release one).

Speaking of my albums of the year, at the moment in the provisional top 15 there's only one idol album, so I expect to be lynched in my annual year-end post on Luscious Idolicious... On the other hand I get to recommend some epic music that people probably haven't been listening to. It's fun to convert metalheads and prognerds to idols, but I find turning idol fans to metalheads and prognerds rather harder. Maybe this year I'll succeed.

And on that tangential note I depart.

Morning Musume - 13 Colourful Character review (and musings on 11th gen)

So, in case you've been hiding under a rock these past few days you will have seen that Momusu have a new member, the only 11th gen member, Oda Sakura. She's from Kanagawa, is 13, was an Egg (or Kenshuusei, as they're now calling them), and can sing passably well. Given the relative lack of vocal talent in the group since Aichan and Gaki's departures I suppose it's a given that they added a girl who could at least hold a tune.

First thought when I heard a girl had been announced was "I hope she's not another soulless bugger." So I watched her introduction video thing. First impression was that she looked as if she'd been hit with a frying pan. A rather hot frying pan. After that I decided I was being a bit cruel, and that instead she looked like a garden gnome. Then I realised, meh, she looks like a goblin.

Thus ends my brief musings on 11th gen.

Preamble: Well, the cover is certainly colourful, though the rainbow is a bit screwy. Nothing else really to note on the cover.

Buono! - SHERBET review

So, scarcely a week since my last review and now I've got another one to do. I think it seems like my next few posts at least will all be reviews, as the new Momusu album is out soon too, so I may as well get them all done.

Preamble: Well, that is one slightly pastel-coloured cover. Colours are random, but Airi's face is lol. In fact, this whole cover looks like they're looking into a male changing room or something. Miya's very interested, Momo's protecting her tits but can't look away, and Airi's mock shocked. Still, lol.

AKB48 - 1830m review

So, AKB have released another album, which means I have to listen to it, and from there, review it. Though granted, while I do still have a few albums on my review to-do list (Sakugaku and Super Girls spring to mind), I can't be bothered with them yet so I'll just savagereview this one and then maybe at some point in the future do the others. Or just do a Passpo and review them in the year-end list. But anyway, I digress.

Preamble: The cover is less psychotic than the last one. The tracklist is highly disturbing, not because of the titles so much as the sheer fucking number of songs. 34 songs. 2.5 hours. I think I can safely say that this will be an extremely long post. The title is a bit boring, the same title as the Dome concert, which happens to be 1830m away from the AKB Theatre. Still, at least they don't feel the need to number every album like some groups.

FAKSM #20: World's End Girlfriend - "DECALOGUE minus 8"

I came by chance upon a song one day. Have you ever got bored with the music you're currently listening to, but want to find something similar? Often I do, and I turn to Last.fm's frankly astoundingly useless radio. Useless because quite often it's all put down to the "similar artists" bit, which I've no idea how they figure out. For example, my band has a load of National Socialist Black Metal as similar artists. Just because we once released a split with one of them.

On the other hand, this dissonance in values and incompetence often leads to staggering revelations of musical taste, things that you'd never think to listen to actually sounding quite decent. For example, I discovered Jesu from Napalm Death's radio station (an easily link considering Broadrick's involvement in both). From Jesu I discovered the delights of Alcest, the only French band I've liked since Indochine.

One day I was sitting, blissfully unaware, listening to some radio of recommendations (obviously Last.fm will know what I should be listening to, with my artists so full of Jpop, Metal and Prog), and I find this.



My mind reels. This is the most insane thing I've ever heard. And I love it. I have no idea what genre it is, I'll just leave it at "experimental" and hope you experiment with it. I hope your mind breaks as much as mine did.

Of Perverted Proclivities and Pristine Maidens

Also known as part two of my Token Pervy Post from last year which was short on actual perversion and merely existed as a sort-of mid-year update of recent idols that had caught my interest. Expect minor predictions on my next Idols of the Year list or whatever, plus a small dose of randomness or whatever I feel like typing at any given moment.

First randomness: Why the hell won't Blogspot let me save this damn thing as a draft whenever it has the word "Perverted" in the title? Bloody google.

Anyway, onwards we ride, with sunlight burning our eyes, into the depths of... heaven?

Of France, Momoclo, Idoling!!! and all that jazz...

The tales of my travails and travels in France are once again dreary, long-winded, full of moaning and boredom and melancholy, thus likely incredibly boring to read. Therefore, it falls to me to present a somewhat abridged version of the events that have occured over the past few days. Abridged, of course, meaning below 6000 words, instead of the usual festering miasma of verbal diarrhoea that I viscerally ejaculate into being that often approaches the size of the small novel.

Nevertheless, I shall once again begin in that altogether familiar temporal location, to wit, the beginning.

Not three months since I'd last suffered France at the hands of Buono, it was announced that my current favourite group of the now, Momoiro Clover Z, would also be making the arduous journey to France, for that unholy coagulation of French weeaboo: Japan Expo.

It was also announced later that Idoling!!! would be there too, in a somewhat diminished form, but my knowledge of Idoling!!! is remaining steady at a level of just above zero.

But anyway, imagine my shock. Having only just recovered (both mentally and financially) from Buono, I would now have to return to the place that has probably now re-overtaken Venezia as my least favourite place in the world: Paris.

As I tried in vain to find a worthy party to aid me in my quests, I hit dead-end upon dead-end. My fellow Northern!wota (Gina, Mark, Orob, Pete, Andy and Lara) all either had no interest in Momoclo or were otherwise occupied. Dean had fucked off to Japan, where his girlfriend was now taking up more time than idols (shock horror). My bandmate Chris had spent all his money on studio equipment, my college mate was too busy gardening for money, and my only interested friend from down south never got back to me (the cunt).

I began to look further afield. Henkka expressed his hesitation at going for a group he liked but wasn't approaching professorial knowledge about. Luckily, in Ole I found my partner-in-crime. Those Norwegians are lucky rich buggers. Less than a week before departure we found our third musketeer: Watanabe, everyone's favourite "has an unhealthy interest in foreign wota" wota.

Our party now complete, we began our quest.

Top 50 Progressive Idol Songs

So, I'm back once again with another of my stupidly long lists. This time, I'm choosing to list the most progressive idol songs.

Now, granted, progressiveness is a hard trait to define at the best of times. I am in the interesting situation that my three cobloggers are also big prog nerds, therefore I anticipate (and expect, don't let me down guys) some criticism regarding my choices. So, before we begin, just what is prog anyway? I had a go at explaining some of the stuff I class as prog metal here, but of course, prog metal is but a drop in the ocean. Prog is a massive sprawling genre, with nearly as many subgenres as metal. So I'll just leave you to make up your own minds on what is prog and what isn't, and get on with explaining some more of the system I've been using to determine my newest list.

This time, I started out with, once again, shitloads of idol songs. Probably approaching 1500 songs now, and I listened to all of them. I also asked Henkka for some recommendations, as he's better versed on early H!P that isn't Momusu than I am.

After that, I narrowed it down to about 140 songs which I deemed had some progressive qualities. I once again attempted using the * system to narrow it down further, but my prog-mind decided to be strict as fuck that day and wouldn't let me pick any more than 11. Not great when you're aiming for a list of 50, eh.

So, I went into my trusty Calc and stuck all the songs in. I deleted a few here and there along the way as I decided I'd been too easy on them, so my final count was 126 songs to get the 700 treatment.

Yes, the Seven Arbitrary Rankings have returned. This time, they are:

• Length


• Structure


• Timbre Spectrum


• Virtuosity


• Musical Curiosities


• Insanity


• Awesomeness

Put them together and we get 700.

Headbangeeeeerrrrr!!!!!

Babymetal's new single is out on July 4th, and today the music video was released.

My reaction?

HOLY FUCK.



Dat organ. Those choirs. THE HARPSICHORD!

Plus the metal, of course.

FAKSM #18 - It All Works Out All Right

So, my head has been slain by all the recent weird comings and goings of idol singles. All of them are seemingly summer themed, except for the Ebichuu single I spoke about not long ago. Now, when I got the single, and was highly impressed with it, one track in particular stood out to me. It was a C-side that was better than the pop/waltz/silliness A-side and the lolwtfmetal B-side.

[audio:http://www.intlwota.com/metalhead/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Kekka-Alright.mp3|titles=Kekka Alright]

It's called Kekka Alright. It begins with an electric guitar quoting Bach's Toccata and Fugue, then flows full throttle into multilayered guitars weaving interesting patterns and delicate themes. The vocals aren't so much sung as they are spoken. The bassline takes the randomness and pulls it together into some semblance of form, and the drums are fun. The vocals become layered too at points, and the middle eight choral section is truly mesmorising. The syncopation in the chorus makes everything sound cool. The addition of brass instruments add a bit of a ska feel, and in general it's all just moderately controlled chaos. The end quotes Fur Elise (I think, though can't be sure) and then just has a girl saying "all right" with a beep. Proggy much?

This just concludes to me that the Stardust groups are, by far, getting the best songwriters at the moment. This song was written by a girl called Tamurapan (real name: Tamura Ayumi), who writes some really weird but cool songs. In addition to her, they have the madcap genius of Hyadain (aka: Maedayama Ken'ichi), the "I use everything in every genre" awesomeness of Coalter of the Deeper's NARASAKI, the occasional talents of AKIRASTAR (usually known from Buono!) and the one time epic collaboration of
godOotsuki Kenji from Kinniku Shoujotai and Ian Parton from The Go! Team. If any other idols have had such a talent lineup behind them as Momoclo and Ebichuu, I've not found them yet.

Honestly, I wish more Jpop were so epic instead of being like Momusu at the moment.

Plus AKB's recent singles mostly all sound the same (except when they play them themselves and make lots of amusing mistakes)...

Momusu's new single, mass hysteria and why I hate humanity.

So, Gaki has crawled into a retirement home, Aika has wheeled herself off to something which I'm not even sure how to sum up, and Sayu is Momusu's leader. With the average age of the group now about 15 and Sayu's randomness in charge, I was hoping for some improvement.

Now, I'll admit. I like the 9th and 10th gens. They all seem pretty fun, some are talented, and some are just insane. I was content to wait for Gaki to be dead and buried before I passed judgement on the new era.

So she's now in a coffin, and I'm passing judgement.

The new single is shit.



I go on forums, I find everyone saying how wonderful it is. I despair. It sounds like Tsunku's just found more buttons to press and given up all thought of melody or timbre, or dynamics. Let's look at the vocal melody line. It barely fucking moves. Stays on the same note for ages, and then moves maybe a semitone in accordance with the chord progression. Not that the chord progression is good, you understand.

The song is a mess. The vocoders are useless, having a voice cut to shreds and buzzing incessantly pisses me off.

This isn't so much a song as much as it is an aural nightmare. It's like partenza, just not quite as bad.

The dance seems to be the thing people are interested by, which brings me to the conclusion that it's not so much that idol music is bad, per se, it's just that the majority of people listening to it are deaf.

Idol Body Parts Top Ten Series: Part 4 - Hips Ahoy! (plus waists, bellies and navels)

So, despite me posting like a spammer on Beat Laments The World at the moment, I've not really posted much on here of late. I was planning to sort of scale back and do maybe a post per month for the near future, but that now seems pretty lackadaisical of me thus I figure I'd provide you, my few readers and many searchbots, some more fap material eye candy.

As I said last time, the fact that the feet post was leading the leg post was confusing to me. Now it's beating both legs and ass by some margin. Currently:

Feet - 2432 views.
Legs - 436 views.
Ass - 161 views.

So I guess modern tastes and acceptable fetishes might need some reconfiguring.

Anyway, recap.

• Breasts (ie. actual ones)
• DFC (delicious flatchest. Tits that ain't)
• Ass
• Legs
• Feet
• Clavicle
• Lips
• Belly/Waist/Hips/Pelvis (that general area)
• Back
• Armpits

So yes, this time it's time for the Belly/Waist/Hips/Pelvic area. Of course, some girls impress me in one aspect particularly, some evenly in several, and possibly some in all. Just to explain here, my tastes in this area are capricious at best. You will see pokable bellies and hard abs, hips that aren't and hips that could carry quindecaplets, innies and outies... Who knows. In any case, let us depart for the promised land (with no clover).

On AKB's senbatsu elections, sales figures, graduation of Maeda and all that jazz...

So, unless you've been living under a rock you'll know that AKB just released number two out of their now habitual five singles of the year. As with the past 4 years, this CD contains a voting ticket to determine the ranks and suchlike for their next single. Now, with the most popular member from last year not taking part, one wonders where her vote is going. It's obviously going somewhere, as this is probably going to be the last single she's a part of (she's graduating the day after the Tokyo Dome concerts which take place on the 24th, 25th and 26th of August, which means she'll still be a member as of the next single, but as she's not in the election she won't be in the single. Make sense?), it's got some ridiculous sales figures. 1.17million for the first day alone. Up to 1.3million by the second day.

Anyway, back to my point. The elections.

Once again, AKB fans are getting all the press for all the wrong reasons. Granted, it's not something I can really say I disagree with, I'll personally never understand the method of buying multiple copies unless they all have something different on them; buying for handshake tickets means nothing as I haven't been to Japan in four years; and the election honestly does nothing for me as I know the ones I support the most will maybe make the bottom end of the rankings if they're lucky, and my meagre salary and the slow speed of delivery between Japan and the UK renders any contribution I could make rather moot. Still, AKB have achieved quite a remarkable level of market saturation for a niche product.

When Passpo met the bassist from Jane's Addiction and a guitarist from the band of Shakira.

Or something.

So, Passpo's new single is called Next Flight, continuing the theme of flying and rock. What is slightly new is that they went to LA to film the PV, in order to achieve a feeling of "LA Metal" in the song.

They said that a famous LA Metal Musician would be in the video, which I guess is supposed to be Chris Chaney even though I wouldn't really class Jane's Addiction as metal. Josh Freese and Robin Fink were apparently also involved in the song in some way, but who knows.

The next few singles they're doing are going to be themed on locations and their music scenes, so personally I'm hoping for either some grim as fuck Norwegian Black Metal, some Brazilian Thrash, Italian Prog/Power or some Gothenburg DM. Still, the preview of the "LA Metal" song doesn't sound half bad.

So, without further ado, the short video...



Desert theme is quite cool, but for that would prefer it sound a bit more Kyuss-ish though.

Honestly, it's not metal, but it does sound like pretty anthemic rock. I think I like.

Japan's Insanely Talented Youth

So, for a while now I've been listening to a certain Japanese drummer girl on youtube. Her name is Kawaguchi Senri, she's 15, and she's probably one of the best drummers in Japan. She's apprenticed to a guy called Suganuma Kozo, who's probably one of the best drummers I've ever heard. But it reminded me of some of the outstanding talent I've seen over the years, most of it from Asia, quite a lot from Japan. So here's a bit of a breakdown for all of you interested in the next generation of musicians, all of you who have an inferiority complex about your own playing and can now be awestruck by the sight of little Japanese girls putting your 10+ years of experience to shame, and those who just want to see Japanese girls in general.

So, let's start with the first one I saw. Her name is Sara, she'd probably be 15 by now. Unfortunately she's stopped uploading videos to youtube, so I guess she discovered makeup and designer goods, but still, she had some talent when she started.

So, have some of her playing Rush to make you feel really inadequate about yourself.



So, a while goes by, then I find out about this really cool and weird type of keyboard that's only available in Japan, called the Electone. It's got 2 keyboards and footpedals, just to be really annoying, but it lets you play just about everything yourself.

So this girl does:


Yes, it's Kansas. But dude. She's also got a vid of her doing YYZ, which is awesome. Dunno why Japanese girls like 70s rock so much. Guess it's just because it's FUCKING AWESOME.

Yea, I said it.

THE Possible - ② Shiawase no Akashi review

I've decided from now on to only review one album at a time as then I get to write more posts with less content rather than the opposite. This will make me slightly more capable of writing more posts. Or so I hope. Maybe it'll just end up with me writing the same amount of posts but with a lot fewer words.

So, The Possible released a new album, a whole five years after the old one (and nearly 4 years since their last best-of slice of weirdness which I've never understood about the Japanese music industry. How in the hell can you have a best album after one album? You need at least 10 albums for that shit to work), which goes down as probably the longest wait between albums in idol music history (if it isn't, let me know.) To compare, it's about the same length of time between AC/DC and Metallica albums, but as AC/DC and Metallica are a bunch of old men with nothing new to offer, I don't understand why Tsunku hasn't got his ass into gear and given The Possible a new album (and more songs in general) much earlier. Especially considering he didn't even write half the songs on this album.

Just hope it isn't as bad as Lulu...

Shiritsu Ebisu Chuugaku

Welcome to the slightly madcap and insane world of Momoclo's little sister group...

Like Momoclo, they're all on the Stardust agency, an agency best known for throwing away talent like a 5* restaurant throws away perfectly good food. Also like Momoclo, they have the skills of Maeyamada Ken'ichi writing most of their songs for them. What follows is perhaps an experiment in minor insanity. While Momoclo seem to be naturally a bunch of spanners, probably caused by the nature of roadtripping to perform tiny concerts in a dingy little van, Ebichuu seem a bit more sane, probably due to the fact that they're all members of Stardust's 3B Junior and actually have a normal manager. As a result, their songs seem to be even more insane than Momoclo's, just to make up for it.

I don't really know much more about them that that, but this brings me to the reason I actually made this post. They're having a major label debut (DefStar, so I wonder if they'll do what they did to AKB...), and the Bside is this complete mess of a song which is fucking awesome:


私立恵比寿中学 『放課後ゲタ箱ロッケンロールMX』

Damn that's pretty metal.

The A-side, if you care, is here:


私立恵比寿中学 - 仮契約のシンデレラ [HD]

Not quite as insane, but still a bit weird, having a waltz in the middle.

Anyway, I shall be keeping an eye on these girls with great interest. Especially if they get nearly as awesome as Momoclo.

Speaking of Momoclo, I came across this heavy and grim as fuck remix of Mouretsu. Make of that what you will.

Idol Body Parts Top 10 Series: Part 3

At long last I have summoned up the effort and courage to present to you, dear readers, my ode to the idol posterior. The rump, buttocks, derrière, gluteus maximus, arse, and various other synonyms. Since I last gave you an ode to legs, my blog hits have spiralled out of control. Was it due to the legs post? Nope, that seems to be pretty steady at about 700 hits. The feet post on the other hand is currently at about 2300 and climbing rapidly. I don't know if this thoroughly disproves the theory that legs are the third most fetishised body part, or just proves that there are sufficient numbers of more reputable blogs which feature delicious idol legs that mine just doesn't get any hits. I guess I will find out when this post and the two posts on breasts go up. If they don't even reach the level of the feet post, I guess I'm just that unpopular.

So, anyway, a recap of what has been, and what is to come:

• Breasts (ie. actual ones)
• DFC (delicious flatchest. Tits that ain't)
• Ass
• Legs
• Feet
• Clavicle
• Lips
• Belly/Waist/Hips/Pelvis (that general area)
• Back
• Armpits

Also, a word to the wise that due to my obvious and inherent dislike of a certain highly regarded former idol whose buttocks were often on prominent display, I've decided I couldn't be bothered to go through the effort to actually photoshop her face out of all her ass shots (not to mention, downloading them in the first place), so for those of you who expected Takahashi Ai to be first, unlucky.

Also, the picspam this time will be chosen wisely. This is due to me not wanting to hit my upload limit on blogger, and also because one idol on this list has but a single yet delightful shot of their rear, which unfortunately means that others simply must suffer.

Anyway, I digress. TO THE BOOTY!

Three Reviews In One: Berryz, C-ute and Kikka albums

So, time for me to start reviewing again I guess. It's been a while since I reviewed anything, and my mind is wanting to get some wordcount out. So I chose to waste it on yet another thing that isn't idol bodyparts. Even though those posts seem to get me the most views. But oh well, such is life.
So yes, the albums I'm going to review are the new Berryz album, the new C-ute album, and the Kikka album that came out in January that Pete and Dean have been telling me to listen to for ages.

Guess I'll get started then.

I'd like to introduce you all to someone...

I don't do this very often. Or, indeed, at all.

Well, that's a lie, I did it once, in 2009. But still, it's like a very very good beer. Hard to come across.

"So, what the fuck is he rambling about now?" I hear you think. Or rather, not hear, but percept.

Well, I'm going to do an entire post about one idol. A little shrine, if you will.

I'm not doing it on Luscious Idolicious because I think, somehow, that the readership here will appreciate her slightly more than the viewers (hesitate to call most of my hits readers) on LI, considering their usual methods of finding the place is "[insert idol] naked", "[insert idol] barefoot", or "fappin away turn on loli oniichan voice" (I have no fucking idea).

So, anyway, allow me to introduce her.

Return of the Babymetal

On March 7th, 2012, BABYMETAL will unleash their most grim and unholy CD Debut, "Ii Ne!", along with those kvlt practitioners of necro blasphemies, "Kiba of Akiba", as an infernal split release with which to plague the earth.

So went the intro line I wrote for Dean over at Yonasu which he didn't use. But anyway, Babymetal are back, this time with a split-single (how metal is that?) with some silly Wota-ish Death Pop group.

I didn't bother writing about it until now, as there wasn't much to write about.

Now, the PV's out. I grabbed the TS file, fiddled with it a lot then uploaded it to Dailymotion, so here, enjoy:



So, first thing this reminds me of is Blood Stain Child. Techno Metal, with a hint of Gothenburg-ish Death Metal. Except that weird assed "take the piss out of rapper" bit. And the vocoding on some of the vocals. And trying to pass off the deathgrowls as Sumetal's work.

But still, as I said in my last post, it shows that Japan still hasn't lost its touch for genre-fuckery. Much as it's not the best metal ever, nor is it decent techno, it's idols and it's amazingly silly just because of that. For Momoclo, it's even more bizarre, as they're all psychotic. With Sakugaku, you don't have quite as much insanity, and Sumetal's fast approaching the end of middle-school, which is Sakugaku's "too old, gtfo" age. So Babymetal's time is limited, unless they rotate the members or something. But still, that they pull this off at their age is cool. Now just need a better songwriter for them. So, question time, which metal composer would write the best songs for them? My money's on Ihsahn or Heavy Devy.

I'm rambling now, seemingly.

Also, their kitsune is weak. Do some proper horns.

Honestly, I would have preferred that Ijime! Dame! Zettai! were released. From what I've heard of it, despite it sounding sort of X Japan-ish, it's a stronger song than either Ii Ne! or Doki-Doki Morning. Plus it has a wall of death when they play it live.

Fuck yea.

Buono! in Paris, 12th February 2012

So, at last I have an opportunity to sit down, compose my thoughts, and spam with wordcount.

Of course, it wouldn't be possible for me to do this without some incentive, and the incentive behind this particular post, were it not already rather obvious due to the title, is that Buono! came to France for a gig.

Unless you've been living under a rock I suppose that's probably not particularly surprising, so I'll say it once again just to be annoying.

Buono! came to France for a gig.

And such begins this tale of woe, regret, tragedy, heartbreak and FUCKING AWESOME TIMES.

2012 Top Idol List

So, it's January. Time for my generally yearly idol list. Once again, sorry for those of you waiting for an ode to the idol posterior, but once again I've just not seen enough good ass pics to deliver.

Last years winners have suffered somewhat at the hands of newer (younger) competition, some older members making better impressions on me, and one very prominent re-entry.

Due to this interesting state of affairs, it will now be a top 25. Couldn't fit in all the tags though, so I took out the lower ranked girls.

However, due to the scandal that hit while I was in the middle of writing this post, I have had to search around rather a lot for who in my mind is #25.

Nacchan, I honestly don't care about you having a boyfriend (or your terrible taste in men), but damn you for making me have to think of someone to replace you...

So, first off we shall start with a retrospective of the last two years.

FAKSM#16: When Momoiro Clover Z Go Death Metal

Obviously spurred on by Henkka's last couple of posts, Momoclo have decided to join in the action with their wonderful new rearrangement of that Christmas Bside called Santasan on their previous single, Roudou Sanka (also worth a listen if you're into Kinniku Shoujotai or The Go! Team, as Ohtsuki Kenji wrote the lyrics and Ian Parton did the music).

Anyway, here is the "Bloody Christmas" version of Santasan:

[audio:http://www.intlwota.com/metalhead/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/04-Santa-san-Bloody-Christmas-Version.mp3|titles=04 Santa-san ~Bloody Christmas Version~]

Straight from the start, bells and doomyness remind of Sabbath, but more evilly of a group called Legions of Crows from my hometown of Salisbury who release Christmas songs every year. Doom Metal Christmas songs. Sometimes featuring Paul Di'anno, but I digress. Having jingle bells la'd over the top is hilarious. Then death metal as fuck. Blastbeats and heavy riffs. Then Momoclo vocals being happy and cute over it... This is a niche market that I think could work, need to look into it.

Honestly, this puts Babymetal to shame. And everything on my Top 50 Metal Idol Songs list. Even has a random death grunt in here somewhere. Riffs are actually pretty cool death metal riffs, with a hint of groove at points. Hint of a black metal riff somewhere, but still, this just takes everything idols have been slowly building up to for the past couple of years and melds it all in together. Under a Christmas song.

I think no one would be too pissed off if I said this is more metal than Cannibal Corpse.

Then Santa starts raping and murdering the girls or something, while death grunting "hohoho". Completely "wtf" and "rofl" at the same time. Honestly can't think of what more to write because I'm still too busy being in awe at how amazing it is and then giggling at the silliness of it all.

Of course, this being Momoclo no doubt they're giggling at the silliness of it all too, but then again, on their upcoming next single that's out in March, "Mouretsu Uchuu Koukyoukyoku Dainana Gakushou 'Mugen no Ai'" (if you wondered, this means something like "Violent Universe Symphony, Seventh Movement 'Infinite Love'", just proving their psycho status even further) they have Marty Friedman playing guitar, and it sounds something like a cross between Nightwish's choirs, Megadeth's guitar playing (as you'd expect), random Jpop, bit of Queen, Blind Guardian and some random Vis Kei with added syncopation in the chorus. If you click this within the next two weeks it might still be on youtube. So I'm guessing that despite the ever growing encroachments of Kpop and that generic "sound", Jpop's obsession with metal and general genre-fuckery isn't quite over yet.

Thank fuck.